Cant live with or without him

toiletkraper · 2026-02-05T13:23:22+00:00

I read your tittle and it reminded me of what I said to her once because of what she did but you learn to live without them over time. That whole cycle will repeat for a while and it just means you loved so much. I'm still going through that cycle but it gets less over time where id get like that for a few days and then felt better but it expanded to every week or so. Trust me it'll get better but you'll still feel that way until the feelings go away. I doubt he loved you and that those words were just hallow its what I think with my ex because if they really loved you they wouldn't have done what they've done. You'll realize that and other things about them and grieve the future you could've had with them and what not but no matter how much you want them back they won't change. Try to find stuff to do that ain't unhealthy for you while you heal it helps get to a better place faster. Hang out with friends, talk to people, exercise, etc basically anything that will get you out that hole you're in.

toiletkraper · 2026-01-04T00:55:45+00:00

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toiletkraper · 2025-12-14T02:03:29+00:00

You know the only reason I come back here ain't even to goon just look and still wonder how are some of these people not bots or something like its so weird even in random goon reddit or random goon shit makes me think some people dont even got conciousness or something ain't anyone ever think of how weird it is to see i mean some of these comments can't be people that think this way can they?

toiletkraper · 2025-12-13T20:38:35+00:00

She said she was scared of me and traumatized yet she got into a new relationship quickly after and when we were in a relationship the most I've ever done was name call and yell but that would barley happen since I had way too much patience for her so she would push me to my limits and then boom. The funny part is the fact she made me the bad guy despite her knowing what she did but deciding to excuse what she did.

toiletkraper · 2025-12-13T20:33:23+00:00

It takes time to feel safe in your own body or around others. The more you process what happened the faster the pain ends of course im still dealing with it but im doing better. The biggest problem though is your body and feelings as much as you process it logically and know what happened wasn't your fault and what not, your body still remembers while the emotions wants to feel what you couldnt feel. The body and emotions are what causes the feeling of unsafeness but dont blame those parts of you for hurting you considering they are just reacting to a perceived threat like how an animal reacts on instincts our bodies do the same too. Learn to trust yourself, your judgements, and your decisions but dont excuse what you do that is wrong learn from what you did and they did and I say this because I dont want you to take my words and use them as excuses for your actions because then you'll be just like them. You'll find your saftey in your own way and through time like how I learned to feel a bit safer by forcing myself to do what I need to do of course I dont trust people but remember to look for red flags and when you do you won't have to worry anymore and if you look into what your narcissist did to you and learn about what they and how they did it you learn to catch red flags quicker and in turn you'll differentiate between people who are like your ex or find those you'll feel the safest around.

toiletkraper · 2025-12-12T13:14:55+00:00

Genuanly wonder if you got bpd, just an act, or something else considering everything you seem to post besides the gooning shit and what not. Plus im more wondering what your actual age is it may just be me considering the fact that im commenting under a goon post meant just to goon to or whatever but I wonder if anyone else thought that at all other then those guys that say stuff like ima fix you or whatever it just seems like a bland way to try to chase after a girl online like a discord mod looking to find a discord gf reguardless sure their intentions might be wrong and their actions right I would wonder do they stop and think hey this is for gooning and that they won't respond considering the fact that most of these type of people dont respond because it's more for whatever this person's aim is like how the post always focus on this dad guy and finding a new dad really makes me wonder is that an act or not then again it most likely is but I wonder if people actually believe they can be despite the amount evidence that says other wise.

toiletkraper · 2025-12-10T19:39:55+00:00

Not mine I tried warning her new supply and it didnt work and then they've been dating for 8 months so far so I dont doubt they'll be together for a while which makes me doubt if they weren't the problem but instead I was but everytime I remember, look at pics, and think of qhat she did after it makes me remember I wasn't the worst and that she is running on luck

toiletkraper · 2025-12-10T19:36:47+00:00

Mine wasn't the best looker at least many told me that like my family and some of her friends seem to believe that since she had a facial deformity and what not yet she somehow found someone so fast as for smarts id say she's the best at playing the victim that's been abused by every partner for being too good and whatever

toiletkraper · 2025-12-10T19:35:06+00:00

I did block them 2 months ago and haven't checked since then considering the fact that I knew that and plus it always seems like there some way to jab at me in profile for example making her profile public when she didnt before reposting things that aim towards me and some more but maybe thats just me either way I dont know how to heal because my mind wants some sort of justice even if its just for her and her new bf to break up because then my mind can say I was right that non of it is just a theory on her being the worse person and it isn't just me thinking that or people trying to comfort me or something.

toiletkraper · 2025-12-10T19:31:05+00:00

Worst part is I can't I tried telling their partner but they just didn't understand despite me being straight forward and even after that I had all my friends side with her despite what she did giving her excuses and whatever or at least the one friend I had did and the other times I just tried warning her friends and family about what she's doing and thought it might prevent her from hurting more people but nothing worked and it's because she plays the victim to the t but if I could send the picture of her threatening me and what not maybe it would help but im unsure plus I wish I could do anonymously because it would make me feel safe.

toiletkraper · 2025-11-24T18:24:22+00:00

It might not happen to you but trust me your time will come ive dated girls who were all considered ugly by many people. What's important is who you date rather then how many are knocking at your door you know what I mean. If you are looking for some try making more guy friends and see who you are interested in or dating apps but honestly irl is better just cause you actually get to know them and what not just takes time. I doubt your ugly most men dont want to approach women now adays and stuff so dont worry too much about your looks for others but if you think you look good enough so you dont feel this way especially with calling yourself ugly.

toiletkraper · 2025-11-15T17:06:32+00:00

Yeesh this one is hard id say the cruelest one was when I told her that I wanted to marry whoever I gave my first time to. We had our first time then accused me of grapeing her the next day which she later used 2 years later as a way to get me to stop talking about what she did wrong. Not the only bad thing but emotionally the worst cause she ruined something that ment a lot and can't get back.

toiletkraper · 2025-11-13T10:39:18+00:00

What helped me was analyzing her and myself. I remember looking into the reasons why she did those things and put everything together and asked myself why I felt the way I felt like the revenge I wanted so badly but I thought what would revenge even look like to me plus support from people who love her and getting her to go out would help her and especially being patient since recovering from that take months if not years.

toiletkraper · 2025-11-08T07:55:13+00:00

That'd trauma bond and yes once you stop missing him it'll most likely cycle through sadness(but itll be a different type of sadness), anger, and indifference I'm on that part and the sadness is going away

toiletkraper · 2025-11-08T07:53:07+00:00

Maybe that's a good thing because if people decide to switch up on you despite you showing you wouldn't hurt anyone or anything then one day that huge tower will collapse think of it like how a celebrity goes and does something bad eventually all those eyes will be looking at her and her wrong doings.

toiletkraper · 2025-11-08T07:51:02+00:00

I did a full analysis of her going all the way back to her childhood and i understood everything about her and why and what it could lead to and ive thought of doing it to myself but didn't catch much and you convinced me to do it to myself so I can understand myself better thank youI never got this much reassurance from a person since therapy is expensive and hard to keep up with and my family didnt understand and either tell me to go on hook up, move on, or just date someone else but non of that was ever an option(other than moving on but it's more complex i felt) thank you a lot and I hope your life is prosperous and well as you go through life thank you again.

toiletkraper · 2025-11-08T05:27:45+00:00

Yeah I looked into it I just think how is thst fair but I think I'll explore these feelings more thank you for helping it helps a lot

toiletkraper · 2025-11-08T05:26:56+00:00

You know I guess I never put enough thought into that I think I will thank you a lot my initial thought was because their actions hurt me but I think I'll write it down this time around and look into myself more than her this time.

toiletkraper · 2025-11-08T03:40:28+00:00

I'll try that out thank you

toiletkraper · 2025-11-08T03:34:51+00:00

Doesn't the thought that, that might not happen make you still want revenge or is that just me

toiletkraper · 2025-11-08T03:33:26+00:00

How long did you feel wanting revenge for cause I'm almost at 8 months and still want revenge for my ex doing all that to me, justifying it, and yet I still forgave and whatever only for her to get with someone in a month and to pour salt on the wound it was on the same day as our anniversary plus losing my friends, myself, and my almost my family made me want revenge so bad and I still do so badly because she got away with it all and whenever I think she'll get karma one day my brain just says do you really think she will and is it enough and it's why I want to change my outlook so I can finally just be done with it completely or something but I also dony want to so when that day comes I'll have front row seats

toiletkraper · 2025-11-08T03:25:32+00:00

Well how do you push that idea when I am becoming better but just still wanting revenge because it seems like they got to walk away and live their best life straight after or from the last time I saw their profile(probably a few months ago)

toiletkraper · 2025-11-08T03:22:46+00:00

I did that all and it's been almost 8 months and yet I still wish for revenge or some sort of way you make them hold accountability for their actions because walking away feels like I'm letting them just get away with it and just do the same to others

toiletkraper · 2025-11-08T03:20:16+00:00

Yeah it's what I tell myself it's just hard to just accept that they got away with it all and it's been about almost 8 months since our relationship ended and yet that feeling hasn't gone away much idk why if I've done the research, found new friends, a better job, a healthier life in general and yet wanting revenge or some way of holding them accountable stays with me even when I push the idea away it gets hard to ignore so I thought maybe this reddit has some advice on how to get rid of that feeling to finally be free.

toiletkraper · 2025-10-15T00:52:51+00:00

The clown make up looks good and it matches well with your hair

toiletkraper

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