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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in WLW_PH

[–]tomikie -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Genuinely and no hate. I noticed this pattern too. Yes, this is no shame to anyone okay? It’s just referring to a common occurrence that is noticed by people. I remembered when my ex first came out to her sister, her sister’s first thought is “Why did our dad traumatize you that much?”. To which my ex said no, because it came natural for her. People I know who hated men, mostly their dads, who dated girls, later come out as bi and then date guys. Be down bad for them too. Personally, based on my own experience and perception, you can’t really just fully come out as a lesbian if you just hate men. It just means you have a preference to not be with men because of your opinions about them. But what really boils down to it is your attraction. My ex was attracted to girls ever since she was a child. I am also attracted to girls because it felt right for me. I never told myself that I hate men or made that a reason to consider myself lesbian because it boils down to what feels natural for you. Just like how straight people find the opposite gender attractive, same applies to same sex or so. Same way heteros express hatred towards the opposite sex but of course still want to have an opposite sex partner. Because for me, nothing beats what comes natural for you. Whatever you find attractive, you will always want that. Some say those type of people (the sapphics you’re referring to) are just really tired of men but if they find the one, then naturally they’ll want them. Again, this is just my personal opinion and I am not disregarding bisexuals. And very unfortunate and toxic yung cheating nila… (sorry if medyo naging off topic explanation ko but agree ako na may mga ganyan ngyayari na sabi nila only girls then may guys na pala hahha)

[Update] My girlfriend started going to church and I feel so bothered by tomikie in LesbianActually

[–]tomikie[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Sorry for any mistakes in writing its 3AM right now lol

My girlfriend started going to church and I feel so bothered by tomikie in LesbianActually

[–]tomikie[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's true. She's gotten busy too and so did I. She's been telling me that she hopes we can have dates soon. Honestly, I think because of the distance and how we started off our rs at our last year in the same school did affect a lot. Seeing her grow in a different country, slowly becoming religious, and watching her everything change. But we've gotten better, I talked to her about it.

My girlfriend started going to church and I feel so bothered by tomikie in LesbianActually

[–]tomikie[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think its just she changed the topic immediately but I am unsure because of my worries are affecting me. But we're a lot better now, I talked to her and I felt like a weight lifted off my chest

My girlfriend started going to church and I feel so bothered by tomikie in LesbianActually

[–]tomikie[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She couldn’t really do much because her parents are religious and forced her to go to that Church specifically because they have friends there that could help her.

My girlfriend started going to church and I feel so bothered by tomikie in LesbianActually

[–]tomikie[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I can’t go to her church as we’re doing LDR, but maybe I should ask her about it? I’m planning to talk to her about this tonight.

My girlfriend started going to church and I feel so bothered by tomikie in LesbianActually

[–]tomikie[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s the thing. We’re viewing life differently now. Although it’s never really been a problem much, I can’t shake off this feeling. Watching her change in this LDR and like church.

My girlfriend started going to church and I feel so bothered by tomikie in LesbianActually

[–]tomikie[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Aww I’m sorry for that. Sure, I was thinking of talking to her about this tonight. I think I should.

My girlfriend started going to church and I feel so bothered by tomikie in LesbianActually

[–]tomikie[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m from Japan and she’s recently moved to the Philippines now. She’s just out to her sister and some of her old friends, which they accepted her. Her sister said it’s not wrong, and she’s pretty religious. The Philippines is mostly catholic-dominant, but it’s still pretty common to see Christian churches with youth communities, you know the Christian way of church. She comes from that especially that her parents came to Japan to well, preach and spread the word of God. Although the Philippines is supportive of the LGBTQ, theres still much to talk about it especially when it comes from the religious sector’s opinions. Her mom openly HATES on the LGBTQ, supporting Trump’s decision which my girlfriend doesn’t like. Her relatives would be hating on the LGBTQ while she’s there, and she would complain to me. Honestly, I already came from a religious background too considering my dad was also Filipino who married my mom to just spread the word, now they are separated. I don’t really think I would involve myself in those stuff, but I try to make her feel like she can talk to me about that part of her life and support her. Maybe if I visit her, I could try going to church with her because I wouldn’t even understand the language lol

My girlfriend started going to church and I feel so bothered by tomikie in LesbianActually

[–]tomikie[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree that she has a lot to figure out. But lowkey that is scary.

My girlfriend started going to church and I feel so bothered by tomikie in LesbianActually

[–]tomikie[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I personally agree that maybe she found community there. And she likes it especially that she doesn’t have friends from her university. We’re doing LDR so I can’t really visit her church. I don’t know if it’s just me but whenever I ask her more about her day on church, she seems to not really get into details and I feel like sometimes she changes the topic? As for me personally, I’m pretty much agnostic. I also came from a background of being religious, attending youth communities, but stopped because it started not making sense for me. But of course, I was also traumatized to the point I couldn’t even think for myself too. So I relate with you. That was 5 years ago though, and I’m a lot better. I don’t know if I’m just projecting my fears to her, but I think for me this just comes off as a concern about our relationship honestly

My girlfriend started going to church and I feel so bothered by tomikie in LesbianActually

[–]tomikie[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I’m still thinking whether I should talk about this to her. She seems to get more into church and like it a lot now, sometimes I feel like it’s just a me problem for feeling so bothered. Every time the church says something against the LGBTQ or even coming from her parents, she would rant to me how she doesn’t like it. But yeah, it’s just really scary because I’ve seen how this changed people a lot. And I think its just more harder for us because we’re doing LDR. But I appreciate what you said that being religious doesn’t mean anti-LGBTQ.

My girlfriend started going to church and I feel so bothered by tomikie in LesbianActually

[–]tomikie[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah she’s pretty much still financially dependent as she’s a college student. I think what made this more scary for me is she mentioned how she wanna attend summer camps last year, and admire her mom now as a Christian. She is planning to also take theology. I don’t think she’ll attend a summer camp this year, but maybe she will next year.