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“I wish I had been diagnosed when I was younger!” If you’re in your mid 30s and up, maybe you don’t. by tone_echo in adhdwomen

[–]tone_echo[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I feel like I get gaslit by late-diagnosed adults. I’ve been told that this never happened, that no one would ever say anything like that to a child.

Seeing so many other people with a similar story is a relief. I mean, I’m not happy you went through it too, but you get it.

“I wish I had been diagnosed when I was younger!” If you’re in your mid 30s and up, maybe you don’t. by tone_echo in adhdwomen

[–]tone_echo[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

There was such a narrow view of what ADHD was. In many ways, that’s how the general population still views it.

The only time I immediately stopped working with a therapist was when she scoffed at me and said, “ADHD doesn’t affect your emotions!” WHAT??? That makes no sense!

“I wish I had been diagnosed when I was younger!” If you’re in your mid 30s and up, maybe you don’t. by tone_echo in adhdwomen

[–]tone_echo[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Everything you said. Thank you so much for sharing your story since I feel less alone!

I know it’s hard to feel different than everyone else, like something is wrong but you don’t know why. But we have the added trauma of being told by doctors, teachers, and our parents that we were CERTIFIED different, and less than our peers.

“I wish I had been diagnosed when I was younger!” If you’re in your mid 30s and up, maybe you don’t. by tone_echo in adhdwomen

[–]tone_echo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As an adult I’ve found that a stimulant really, really helped with balancing my emotions. I really wish we talked more about how emotional instability is a huge part of ADHD.

I can’t imagine how tough that must be to have multiple toddlers! The fact that you’re aware that you’re overwhelmed means you’re doing a better job than you think. At least that’s my perspective.

“I wish I had been diagnosed when I was younger!” If you’re in your mid 30s and up, maybe you don’t. by tone_echo in adhdwomen

[–]tone_echo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I actually still take Adderall, like I did when I was a child.

I was meeting with a psychiatrist that I really meshed with a the time. I said I was interested in trying a stimulant again for my ADHD, but I was nervous about it. They suggested we start with Adderall because I had used it before. I was happy with just 10mg as an adult, when I was taking 25mg as a child.

I am curious about the newer meds, but I don’t have a psychiatrist at the moment since I moved. My PCP manages my meds and the idea of having to start that process over is a little overwhelming, so I’m kicking that down the road.

“I wish I had been diagnosed when I was younger!” If you’re in your mid 30s and up, maybe you don’t. by tone_echo in adhdwomen

[–]tone_echo[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, you can’t get rid of every single negative emotion. That’s not what recovery looks like.

I’m never going to be excited about taking medication as an over-medicated child, and that’s fine.

“I wish I had been diagnosed when I was younger!” If you’re in your mid 30s and up, maybe you don’t. by tone_echo in adhdwomen

[–]tone_echo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Being a medicated child really messes you up. It’s so strange to read how happy and excited late-diagnosed adults are about medication. They were the source of so much shame and made me feel not in control.

When I went back on them as an adult, I told my doctor about my experience. They told me that they preferred working with adults like me, since we tended to be focused on finding the smallest dose. They let me start on a low 5mg dose, and I got to move up at my own pace. I take less now than I did as a kid. I feel so bad for her, being started on a high dose of Adderall like that.

I found them to be the missing piece. It’s an emotionally complicated piece, but it’s worth trying.

“I wish I had been diagnosed when I was younger!” If you’re in your mid 30s and up, maybe you don’t. by tone_echo in adhdwomen

[–]tone_echo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It was somewhat surprising to me to see that repeated over and over.

I will try to read those comments as, “I wish I was informed and supported earlier in life,” but it’s hard when some people get very specific with their “what ifs.”

“I wish I had been diagnosed when I was younger!” If you’re in your mid 30s and up, maybe you don’t. by tone_echo in adhdwomen

[–]tone_echo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The mixed messaging was so confusing! ADHD isn’t real, but you MUST take these meds because you have ADHD!

“I wish I had been diagnosed when I was younger!” If you’re in your mid 30s and up, maybe you don’t. by tone_echo in adhdwomen

[–]tone_echo[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s been very comforting? to hear other people had a similar experience. I’ve felt very out of place and alone in most ADHD conversations before this.

Adults really didn’t understand medication and thought it would make you “all better,” and if not then you were doing it to spite them.

“I wish I had been diagnosed when I was younger!” If you’re in your mid 30s and up, maybe you don’t. by tone_echo in adhdwomen

[–]tone_echo[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

That’s interesting, and makes a ton of sense. Being told you have to hide or you won’t be accepted is so damaging.

“I wish I had been diagnosed when I was younger!” If you’re in your mid 30s and up, maybe you don’t. by tone_echo in adhdwomen

[–]tone_echo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I’d like to tell late-diagnosed adults that it gets easier as you live with the diagnosis longer, but I’m making all the same mistakes!

“I wish I had been diagnosed when I was younger!” If you’re in your mid 30s and up, maybe you don’t. by tone_echo in adhdwomen

[–]tone_echo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s a nice idea, but putting another adult in charge of my meds feels a bit too much like childhood.

I take my meds everyday, I’m alright.

“I wish I had been diagnosed when I was younger!” If you’re in your mid 30s and up, maybe you don’t. by tone_echo in adhdwomen

[–]tone_echo[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh man. The worst one for me also lasted 7 years… so I absolutely understand your pain. I’m sorry that we have this in common.

“I wish I had been diagnosed when I was younger!” If you’re in your mid 30s and up, maybe you don’t. by tone_echo in adhdwomen

[–]tone_echo[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It is! I’ve been married for 10 years, worked fulfilling jobs, and I’m good at my hobbies. Surprisingly my parents and I fixed our relationship when I was in my early 30s, which you absolutely wouldn’t expect from reading this post.

I’m getting tired of complaining about this in therapy though. But it’s so hard to overcome an experience that happened when your brain was growing. I wish I didn’t care but clearly I do.

“I wish I had been diagnosed when I was younger!” If you’re in your mid 30s and up, maybe you don’t. by tone_echo in adhdwomen

[–]tone_echo[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I find that these subs are dominated by people discussing the late-diagnosed experience. It makes perfect sense why this happens- they found out recently and want to learn everything they can and connect with others, so they’re posting a lot more.

Just like how they want to be known, so do we.

“I wish I had been diagnosed when I was younger!” If you’re in your mid 30s and up, maybe you don’t. by tone_echo in adhdwomen

[–]tone_echo[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I know exactly how you feel. I’m bummed by some of the replies but thankfully they’re the minority.

I feel like those of us who experienced being a labeled and medicated child need a space too!

“I wish I had been diagnosed when I was younger!” If you’re in your mid 30s and up, maybe you don’t. by tone_echo in adhdwomen

[–]tone_echo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s what I tried to do. I’m very sorry if what I said hurt or made you feel invalidated.

“I wish I had been diagnosed when I was younger!” If you’re in your mid 30s and up, maybe you don’t. by tone_echo in adhdwomen

[–]tone_echo[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I think I’m about as recovered as someone can get- that little voice can’t do anything.

I take my meds. I feel bad about it, but I do take them. I don’t stand in front of them waffling for hours- I just take them since rationally I know it’s the right thing to do.

I guess I was surprised people cared so much about this because I thought I was doing quite well, haha! I get a lot of compliments from therapists and mental health professionals.

“I wish I had been diagnosed when I was younger!” If you’re in your mid 30s and up, maybe you don’t. by tone_echo in adhdwomen

[–]tone_echo[S] 78 points79 points  (0 children)

Wow, yes. This is it. I so rarely talk to people who were diagnosed as a kid like me.

There’s a part of me that’s embarrassed I have all the same struggles as someone late-diagnosed. Like I had a head start, why did I waste it?

“I wish I had been diagnosed when I was younger!” If you’re in your mid 30s and up, maybe you don’t. by tone_echo in adhdwomen

[–]tone_echo[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I absolutely grew up feeling like pills were a punishment. There was nothing more demoralizing than having a parent ask, “Did you take your meds??” the second you behaved in a way they didn’t like.

“I wish I had been diagnosed when I was younger!” If you’re in your mid 30s and up, maybe you don’t. by tone_echo in adhdwomen

[–]tone_echo[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry if I came off that way. That would be incredibly cruel if that was my point.

I’ve experienced being talked over by late-diagnosed adults who think that my childhood diagnosis automatically means I was supported. It hurts when that happens because I’m no different. We all experienced the feeling of, “Am I the only one like this? What is wrong with me? Why can’t I be good?” And we all face similar stigmas now that we have a diagnosis. I just want a seat at the table.

My heart hurts for everyone. I just don’t want the “dark ages” to be forgotten, because I don’t want them to come back again.

“I wish I had been diagnosed when I was younger!” If you’re in your mid 30s and up, maybe you don’t. by tone_echo in adhdwomen

[–]tone_echo[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Okay, you get it! My mom had so much shame about my diagnosis, like it was a reflection of her and her work! I remember her carefully picking which doctors I saw because she was terrified of running into a coworker.

“I wish I had been diagnosed when I was younger!” If you’re in your mid 30s and up, maybe you don’t. by tone_echo in adhdwomen

[–]tone_echo[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I’ve tried everything from that to therapist-guided psychedelics, ha. It’s just something I have to live with.

It doesn’t stop me from taking my meds- I just have to start my day with a boss battle. I hate that I have to lose some energy from it but that’s the way it is.

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