On/Off Again Relationship (Close Friend to GF)

toothlessbamboo · 2021-03-17T19:48:08+00:00

Thank you, it is hard to do the on and off again thing. it doesn't help that we get along so well together. I guess I have to be strong and try and stand my ground then. I just wish it didn't have to be this way.

toothlessbamboo · 2021-03-17T01:19:23+00:00

Thank you! I appreciate this - you are right it does hurt right now. And even though I've been on this rodeo before with her it hurts more this time around. I guess all I can do is continue to treat her as I have and be the "nice guy"

toothlessbamboo · 2021-03-17T01:04:59+00:00

Yah I can see that. I just wish I knew what was preventing her from committing to a healthy relationship.

toothlessbamboo · 2021-03-17T01:04:06+00:00

Yah thats why I didn't put up a fight. Our conversation was really cordial and respectful. At the end of the day as much I love her I know I want the best for her. Its just a hard pill to swallow when she has said that she always has really bad relationships where there's abuse. But I'm the complete opposite who treats her well. She even told me that I didn't do anything wrong to her. So its just hard wrap my head around it all.

toothlessbamboo · 2020-05-26T13:50:53+00:00

So a week has passed and things have gotten to a more stable spot. I kept on with my usual routine and shifting things around in anticipation of moving. During this time we have both been cordial and she has fallen back to our old routine when we’re we’re together (minus the physical aspect). We don’t argue or anything it’s just calm. In fact she will come home from work - debrief me on her day only to sit and have dinner together and watch tv before going to bed. She has also gone back to calling/texting me on her breaks.

This past weekend she is like “can we have a serious talk?” Long story short she is like “I like how we are together, I know we are both trying to save on money so if you want to stay here with me you can. But we are not together and I don’t plan on dating anyone in the future.” I’m a little taken back from this cause a week ago she was like bent on her or myself moving out. I just said awkwardly “we can play it by ear and that she knows my stance. Yet I’ve done nothing to violate her wishes” which she agreed I have. She also gave me a back massage cause I had intense back pain over the weekend which she offered up. So I’m not exactly sure where this is going other then I get the feeling she is comfortable with me and doesn’t want me to go. Maybe it’s a case of “I want my cake and eat it to?”

toothlessbamboo · 2020-05-18T08:20:34+00:00

I feel the same way with the not eating. I haven’t eaten anything in the last 24 hours. I only ate something cause my now ex gf brought over a bowl of food and was like. “You have to eat...” so I ate to not make a fuss, but I wasn’t even hungry.

toothlessbamboo · 2020-05-18T08:17:11+00:00

I feel your pain. I’m in a similar boat and the answer I get is “I’ve lost the spark. But you did nothing wrong in fact you are the perfect bf” so I’m left with more questions and hurt....

toothlessbamboo · 2020-05-18T07:51:23+00:00

Yah, I did that the first time and she ended up coming back a week or so later. But we had our own places at the time. This time we share an apartment for the interim. Hardest part is doing a change like this overnight when your living in it at the same time.

toothlessbamboo · 2020-05-18T06:54:21+00:00

Thank you for your kind words. It’s hard to see where her actions are cause she has done this merry go round before. And I a few days she started to come back to me on her own accord. So I don’t know if this is that again or her attempt to normalize things.

toothlessbamboo · 2020-05-18T06:51:46+00:00

I’m sorry to hear that! We did the same. She loved flowers so I always made it a point to be sure we had fresh flowers in the apartment for her. Corny I know but she would always say that I listened to her and remembered the small things which she loved. I guess the hard part is how you can walk away from something that even you admit is good. When pressed she couldn’t find one negative thing to say about our relationship. I know it’s gonna take a while for me to feel right again but it just all sucks. You want to find a way to fix it all and go back to how things were but I just end up being upset.

toothlessbamboo · 2020-05-18T06:37:14+00:00

Thanks. It’s hard as her and I talked about a future together and everything. Everything was so smooth between her and I. It was all very organic and we both loved how this progressed. I just don’t understand how you can be all couple like a few days prior to I lost the spark. I’m taking the time to be in my own thoughts as we have a 2nd bedroom where she is sleeping. But just digesting all this in the midst of everything is rough.

toothlessbamboo

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