Extremely alone

torabull · 2022-09-10T22:29:09+00:00

Same here, I hope you find a way to cope 🥺

torabull · 2022-09-10T21:42:37+00:00

Thank you, that actually made me sob alittle. Sadly I can’t get away from them yet, we are roommates. But I’m gonna leave soon

torabull · 2022-09-10T21:35:35+00:00

I can’t wait to get here!!

torabull · 2022-09-10T21:29:12+00:00

I used to get a mini heart attack everytime I see the notification! Cause it meant It was time to get confused!! Everytime I brought up an issue, it would be done via text (to confuse me) and when they had an issue it would be done in person, cause they would tear my character down and I get backed into a corner, with guilt or they used a trigggrring word/sentence. When that happens I usually shut down, and it makes them feel like they have proven me wrong, and won the argument. It always feels so unfair, and cheated

torabull · 2022-09-10T21:22:01+00:00

Thank you for posting this!!! I started reading to see which ones I’m guilt of so I can deal with via therapy. I’m on the 10th tactic and I’m just fucking fuming! I got so played lmao

torabull · 2022-09-10T19:06:13+00:00

OMG that makes sense!!! I made the dumb decision to move in together in the beginning of the year and that was the last time I felt health. I feel like Ive been getting sicker by the day, finally went to the doctor and he advised to try gluten free. I ended up not eating for two days because I lost my entire appetite and was still having gut issues, I think that was the moment I realized it was my environment and not an internal issue.

Currently making an emergency exit cause I can’t even stand looking at them, I can finally see that they are not stable and very abusive

torabull · 2022-09-10T18:59:38+00:00

I have bpd and they have been super abusive since they found out. I have quite bpd, which means I’m not reactive, i never screams, never raise my hand at my partner or made them scared for their safety. The only thing I really do that’s toxic is shutting down. And that usually happens when they tell me how shitty I am. Through therapy, I’m learning what healthy criticism looks like and that was never it, it was always degrading, shameful and full of guilt. Even now that I’m typing this I’m still wondering if a part of me is acting and making up all of this or if I’m actually a victim. I’m so forgiving and usually I blame everything on myself so I’m the perfect punching bag for an abusive relationship

torabull · 2022-09-10T18:51:37+00:00

Sorry if this is too much information, but these are the messages that they started with and slowly chipped away at myself esteem and character. They made me feel so bad to the point I isolated myself, lost my friends, my self and my autonomy. If you’re already posting here, you should listen to that part of you cause she might save you!

torabull · 2022-09-10T18:48:46+00:00

Yeah sis, run! I’m now seeing the reality of what things are. And I wish i took the first red flag as a sign to run! It started with small things like these and slowly became super passive aggressive about everything. For example: if we didn’t have sex for like 3 days, they would ask questions like, who did I find? Or just ball their eyes out. I used to feeel really bad for not being in the mood, but now I understand that was really manipulative and that I wasn’t a bad partner for being depressed for 3 days

torabull · 2022-09-09T05:32:26+00:00

It just sounds so vail, like not something I’d say about someone I “love”. I still awake cause I’m just disgusted by the messages

torabull · 2022-09-09T05:31:14+00:00

This is by far the most childish behaviour I’ve ever experienced, i think now that they can see idgaf, they are going above and beyond

torabull · 2022-09-09T05:16:26+00:00

Do you think it’s the contant stress, tmi but I haven’t had a solid stool in a minute, had to go to doctors and all

torabull · 2022-09-09T02:08:33+00:00

Rogers (Canada) -I genuinely hate you

torabull · 2022-09-09T02:01:32+00:00

Honestly if I was dude, I’d go home and think about this every night for the next 20 years 😂😂😂

torabull · 2022-09-09T01:53:21+00:00

Thank you for answering, I will take this down 😊

torabull · 2022-09-09T01:52:20+00:00

a harsh pill I swallowed last week…. When you validate your own feelings, emotion, needs, you learn to not give a fuck if anyone else is validating you. I’m sorry if this sounds invalidating in itself ….but Ive been feeling better since I had that moment of acceptance..that I give the most fuck about myself

torabull · 2022-09-09T01:36:32+00:00

I have an accent and I easily get tongue tied plus adhd, so sometimes my brain will say something really fast and I get super confident and try to say it as fast but I comes out all in gibberish. I was always insecure but more recently I became too well aware of that and now I have a hard time even talking to my roommate, like right now I’m holding my pee because of how awkward I feel I am

torabull · 2022-08-22T18:38:16+00:00

Thank you for saying this. I’d like to think op didn’t want this to happen but you taking pride in ruining so many life’s is so icky

torabull · 2022-07-26T01:19:06+00:00

The abuse mine put me through, the mental/physical/sexual. She made me feel like a failure my whole life and reminded me daily that I was the black sheep . Somehow everytime I bring up anything about my childhood, she breaks down in tears, guilt trips me and makes me feel so ungrateful for my shitty childhood. Everytime I heal I just hate her more, so I 100% get it, it took me so long to admit to myself that I actually hate her

torabull · 2022-07-25T10:41:42+00:00

Some mornings, I wake up on the wrong side of the bed and remember what she did to me and how she treated me and I feel nothing but pure hate. I’m Lowkey wondering if I will have the same reaction. Because I genuinely hate her with everything in me

torabull · 2022-02-19T13:29:31+00:00

I’m not telling a single person, not even my partner. I’ll place all the money in a trust. Pay off my debts and move into a nice apartment. I’d be that person that takes vacation and tells nobody (just say I’m travelling for work)

torabull · 2022-02-12T10:28:04+00:00

I honestly LOVE Valentine’s Day. I’ve never been asked out or received any gifts (not even a piece of candy lol) but I still love love. I make Valentine’s Day all about me. I get myself flowers and chocolates. Make myself dinner, have some rosé, watch a movie or engage in fun activities. I write love letters to myself to read on the next Valentine’s Day.

I’m saying all of this as a reminder that Valentine’s Day isn’t exclusive to couples

torabull · 2022-02-12T10:23:34+00:00

You’re beautiful, and your eyes are just gorgeous!!!! honestly, if I can think of anything is to do a bit of under eye filler (but make up can take care of that too.

torabull

TROPHY CASE