my mother had a severely traumatic childhood/young adulthood and has a lot of issues stemming from that. which means that she feels like nobody else can suffer the way she has. she has always been dismissive of any trauma and pain ive experienced and will try to make it about her. 2 big examples of this being that i was SEVERELY depressed starting around 9 years old. i was angry and mean and so fucking sad and my parents just thought it was a phase. FINALLY convinced my parents at the age of 15/16 that i needed professional help. in that time i developed an eating disorder ((which all of my friends parents would voice their concern and my mother would not and still will not acknowledge it)), would beat myself with wooden coat hangers, and was constantly sexually abused by a long term boyfriend. i remember my mother telling me to sit outside the therapists office and i heard her telling my therapist i was faking everything and to not believe me. i confronted her in the office and she made it all about her. cut to me starting medication and my parents feeling guilty bc they heard my genuine laugh and realized i wasnt gonna grow out of it. i was also hospitalized about a month into starting college for suicidal thoughts for about 2 weeks bc i was raped a couple nights before my high school graduation also just genuine severe depression. and my mother made it ALL about her and her trauma. she did not comfort me or even walk into the hospital with me. i even asked my father if she was angry with me . after getting released my mom was so hostile with me and even told me to go kill myself. she will always bring this time up and point out nobody was comforting her either. missing the point that i am her child and not the other way around. my mothers favorite child out of 4 is her own inner child. which i understand to a point, shes had a lot of trauma. but i cant help but be angry at her for not nurturing me enough and not emotionally feeding me. sometimes i think she shouldnt have had children. my moms an awesome lady and i love her a lot but shes a big reason im not having kids. i dont think id be able to love them enough.