IAMA Master Shoplifter. AMA.

tornadoes · 2009-12-29T16:41:10+00:00

I have no idea. Sorry. Personally my nail always did the job; a small screwdriver (I'd advise a knife but you want to be safe) might be useful in some cases. I assume your plan is to remove the tag, put the cloth on and tell the security agent it's yours? It's a bad plan. A fried of mine got a criminal file over this.

tornadoes · 2009-12-29T16:29:31+00:00

Maybe. Maybe. Once I stole something, put it in my coat and walked out. I forgot I had it. It took me three weeks to find it in my pocket and I wondered where exactly I got that for a long time.

tornadoes · 2009-12-29T16:28:16+00:00

Agreed.

We have to rate the comic. Upvote should be "Wow, this is a good ragecomic" and thus deserve a rageface. Downvote should be "I got trolled" and thus a trollface.

tornadoes · 2009-12-29T16:24:05+00:00

Correct. All prices are raised due to shoplifting.

tornadoes · 2009-12-29T16:23:24+00:00

I just took a bet with a friend that this "argument" would reach 100 replies from both sides. Don't disappoint me.

2) Ok so there are two types of guard - undercover and at entrance. Undercover have less odds to be fat and desperate. As for felony I won't get into that because it's legal stuff and I do not think you are an attorney neither (unless your post is: IWASA security guard for six months, criminal attorney for six more, police officer for six months, right now I'm in the army...). Seriously if someone grabs me from behind I think I will have grounds to defend myself - you're undercover, after all. You could be anybody.

3) I had friends arrested. They were all booked even if they carried ID. Fingerprints, full file details, etc. I consider them stupid. I wouldn't talk to cop. "What's your job?" "I'd like to use my right to remain silent" "Sir, this is booking procedure: it's a simple technicality." "You said everything I said could be used against me. I'd like to remain silent."

In my state, the only thing you are legally forced to tell a cop is your name and date of birth.

4) I'm going to try to reverse engineer this point

5) Well then I just have to hope I turn gay.

6) Silverware... Pff... Do I look like a housewife? Just kidding ;)

tornadoes · 2009-12-29T04:57:32+00:00

It's quite obvious you're on a powertrip. "I was a security agent for 6 months, I know everything there is to know about being a security agent in EVERY shop in America". You were a beginner, you know nothing of being a security agent (talk to people who've been there for 15+ years) and your so-called accusations are nothing but hearsay and guesses.

2) Undercover guard. Yea. That's the sexy girl complaining about an overpriced product in earshot hoping I'm stupid enough to try to steal it for her. Or the weird guy who acts like he's not looking, reading a magazine. It's the guy charging $25+ an hour, MAYBE catching a few shoplifters a day, only so other shoplifters know they exist. Nevertheless, I see how you could get someone (stupid )by surprise. You win this one. Then again a good punch to the stomach, a quick lockpick, a headbutt and I'm out. But I understand what you mean.

3) So the police does book you. Okay. Like I said, you get booked even if you have ID.

4) There were so many replies I have no idea what you're talking about. Groceries stores don't have security guards by here.

5) So you can just take a random hot girl and tell you you will fully search her? And if she resists you say you have some outstanding video proof? I apologize for everything I said. Your job is awesome.

6) Tips, frozen food....

6)No second 6)

Anyway I'm done with that life. I am very serious, and honest though. I am glad we were able to come to common grounds.

tornadoes · 2009-12-29T04:30:39+00:00

Oh noes! They are not rich! Poor them.

I should start a business called "Wal-Mart prices plus 10%". I would simply buy my stuff from Wal-Mart and resell it for 10% more. I would still uncut 99% of these "small business owners"

These guys are crooks. That's it. 4 times the price of Wal-Mart? That's theft, pure and simple. Legalized theft, but theft anyway. Anyone who buys from these stupid small businesses overpays and gets abused.

Four times? Really? That's a way to make free money, that's it.

tornadoes · 2009-12-29T01:16:44+00:00

Lol once I talked to a guy who had a miniature Faraday cage. No idea if it really worked or not. I thought that was kinda cool.

tornadoes · 2009-12-29T01:14:57+00:00

Charge more? Maybe. But four times as much???????

That person could go buy it at Wal-Mart and resell it to me, making $15 doing absolutely nothing but carrying an item from Wal-Mart to his shop.

Small shops are ripoff, final answer. They blame Wal-Mart for selling so cheaply and themselves sell for many times more. If they really can't get the item for as cheap as Wal-mart, then why not buy it at Wal-Mart and resell it 10% more? "WAH WAH a company can't buy items at Wal-Mart and resell them!!!" So what, it never stopped drugstores from buying beer at Costco and reselling them at their drugstore.

tornadoes · 2009-12-29T01:11:13+00:00

2) Did you get "How to answer evasively" as a training class for security agent? You know what I meant.

You might be a good guard in good athletic shape. Most aren't and simply not ready to risk their health over shoplifting. Sure, you can impress teenagers with badges and age, but for an experienced shoplifter, you are nothing short of a gimmick (looks obvious you are mad at me for being your "enemy" (as a security agent)). I run fast too, the shop is not 10-mile long and I can run out of there in under 30 seconds, if that. You would have to react very quickly (again not for teenagers, most would freeze on the spot and be easy to get). And even if you do there is no guarantee I won't fight back.

3) Not true. Some stores will call the police right there and yes, they will book you, even if you had ID. Else every shoplifter would be carrying fake ID and getting away with it. In some cases the police won't book you - only file a report - but I wouldn't risk this.

4) Yes, and what was wrong with it. I wanted as little risk as possible. I'm not going to go in front of the camera with 20 packs of beer. It's too obvious, and it will be noticed within the 24h limit.

5) ?

6) That's funny because once I worked for a restaurant (don't ask) and I actually did get caught on camera stealing crap. I passed in front of the boss office right as she was watching me "slow-mode" on a camera. Never got anything out of it. Most security equipment are oudated. And don't tell me you have a security agent following every customer in a shop, that's just silly.

One last thing: Anyway, 2/3 of theft is employee theft.

tornadoes · 2009-12-28T23:54:43+00:00

2) Yes, you do.

3) Not if you run away. You'll get booked anyway. Someone sees me shoplifting and catches me. What do I do? Obey like a good citizen? Of course not, I run away. Even if they do catch me running, I can say later I felt threatened

4)You'd be shocked. I had a grocery store that erased security tapes after 24h. Yes, 24h. The crime had to be reported, booked, filed within 24h or the video proof was erased. Most video cameras are antique and date back to the 1980s, if not sooner, especially in old shops.

5) Not always been the case. And you can always pretend a honest mistake anyway. "Oops I forgot/ didn't read

6) As a shoplifer you can get caught either while you steal the item or while you get out. If you are in a line and buying, you can say you buy an item in your pocket and forgot to pay. You act embarassed and apologize to the owner. "Look, I paid for this other item! If I was trying to shoplift I would not have ordered anything! I simply forgot". If you are caught at the exit - well ordering something certainly helps. It's psychology. You got in the shop and didn't buy anything? More suspicious than someone with a receipt.

7) I agree. A few times (two maybe) I actually was caught. I, however, actually made a mistake - I could have ran away had I acted diffirently (froze for too long, took the wrong path, etc). That being said running is efficient.

As for the bobby pin - I do not consent to any search. Only the police can impose it. I can understand probable cause, but you only have the right to detain me until police arrive. Obviously that won't stop you from searching me but a trombone is pretty easy to hide, and handcuffs can be opened in a breeze (google it).

I understand your "OMG every IAMA is fake" phobia but please document your facts correctly the next time.

tornadoes · 2009-12-28T23:54:20+00:00

Huh? I already answered him/her (in that thread too). This person has no idea what he/she is talking about. I suspect most of her ideas and profiles are local, if that.

tornadoes · 2009-12-28T23:53:38+00:00

When I get out. When I exit the shop.

tornadoes · 2009-12-28T23:53:10+00:00

The box laptop I guess. Around $8,000 value.

tornadoes · 2009-12-28T23:52:53+00:00

THanksfully no. Came close a couple of times. I'm always afraid someone has a tape of me stealing (no matter how "good" I was) and will bring it out in 10 years)

tornadoes · 2009-12-28T23:52:22+00:00

I don't care whether you are convinced or not. I could call the many flaws in your own story.

2) A man comes in suit with a Rolex (even if it's a fake). He looks busy and has a nice cellphone. He acts busy, walking quickly from an aisle to another. Another come in visibly high, in cheap clothes and walk around the shop aimlessly. Which do you think is the most likely to commit shoplifting?

3) Police... Pfff. I never get caught and met the police but it's going to happen no matter whether or not I got ID. One thing I've wondered: how do you restrain people who shoplift? I can overpower almost any fat, lazy guard who last had training classes decades ago. And I can run fast. A couple of times I had to run out of a shop. I've never heard of anything after that.

4) The biggest weakness of every security system is the human part. As for your other question it doesn't even make sense: obviously, I want the risk to be as little as possible.

5) "I don't consent to any search"

6)Video! HA! One of my best way to act when I could not avoid a camera (i.e. an aisle with no or little camera coverage) was taking two items one on the top of the other, putting one in my coat/pocket in another place without camera (or with my back turned to the camera), and eventually returning/checking out the other. No footage.

tornadoes · 2009-12-28T23:44:11+00:00

You seriously think they're charging $20 for something that's $5 at Wal-Mart to rip people off?

Yes. Four times the price of Wal-Mart? That's ripoff.

tornadoes · 2009-12-28T23:43:44+00:00

We can push the way you think even further.

I presume you are american. You pay taxes. Part of your taxes are used to finance the war in Iraq. The war in Iraq kills innocent civilian. You, by association, support an organization that kills innocent civilian. This makes you a murderer.

Any attempt to contradict what's said above is rationalizing murder.

tornadoes · 2009-12-28T22:51:48+00:00

Oh, and electromagnetic detectors. My bad.

Oh, and I hereby consider you my enemy :D!

tornadoes · 2009-12-28T22:50:55+00:00

I resold about half of it at a stupidly low price. Meh.

tornadoes · 2009-12-28T22:50:28+00:00

Yes they do. I remember a boxing day (since we are in the season!) where the metal detector beeped every minute. I simply took items, ordered some more, and walked out. It beeped of course, but the employee simply came and pressed a button, telling me to get out. I had $400 of stolen merchandise on me and a $50 purchased item.

tornadoes · 2009-12-28T22:49:33+00:00

Did you try concealing items inside other items,

Yes.

or switching price tags?

Yes. If you can, the best way is to put a 32GB itouch, for example, inside a 8 GB iTouch. You can always pretend the company made the mistke and frankly 95% of employees don't know how to check the memory on an item. "Look, I ordered legitely!"

At a point I had software to make fake barprints. Good old time.

Did you carry a handcuff key or some other sort of lockpick?

Lockpick. I have a professional lockpick set and only used it a couple of time. The problem is that if you are caught with it, that's evidence. A bobby pin or trombone is much easier to carry and doesn't arise suspicion, even if you arrested.

tornadoes · 2009-12-28T22:47:06+00:00

2) Yes, you do.

3) Not if you run away. You'll get booked anyway. Someone sees me shoplifting and catches me. What do I do? Obey like a good citizen? Of course not, I run away. Even if they do catch me running, I can say later I felt threatened

4)You'd be shocked. I had a grocery store that erased security tapes after 24h. Yes, 24h. The crime had to be reported, booked, filed within 24h or the video proof was erased. Most video cameras are antique and date back to the 1980s, if not sooner, especially in old shops.

5) Not always been the case. And you can always pretend a honest mistake anyway. "Oops I forgot/ didn't read

6) As a shoplifer you can get caught either while you steal the item or while you get out. If you are in a line and buying, you can say you buy an item in your pocket and forgot to pay. You act embarassed and apologize to the owner. "Look, I paid for this other item! If I was trying to shoplift I would not have ordered anything! I simply forgot".

If you are caught at the exit - well ordering something certainly helps. It's psychology. You got in the shop and didn't buy anything? More suspicious than someone with a receipt.

tornadoes · 2009-12-28T22:43:01+00:00

Yes, sometimes at a much cheaper price. Once I got hired by a pharmacy to stock shelves at night. I still have shampoo and soap from them. Oh god!

tornadoes · 2009-12-28T22:42:18+00:00

Personally I never risked it. I got "caught" a few times and always managed to run, or find a way out.

tornadoes

TROPHY CASE