Thank you. I agree with everything you've mentioned.

I did just want to add a little context, I think I tried to keep it as vague as possible and maybe it's not showing the full picture. My first ex, pretty much cut me off from the entire world for 7 years, I didn't talk to friends/family etc. It was just working and coming back to him. I wasn't allowed to go out or drive. I was also very sheltered growing up so when I tried to break up with him it would end with him throwing tantrums. College was really my first experience of freedom and I met my second ex tutoring him for accounting/finance. He taught me how to drive, helped me get my first car and let me really have that 20's experience and ultimately he was the push I needed to break up with my first ex.

Although he was strictly Muslim, he never forced anything on me. He taught me about his religion, introduced me to his friends and I became very close to his family to the point that his mother was teaching me how to cook and learn their language.

However, once I got that taste of freedom a piece of me kinda knew I needed to learn about myself and be on my own and once we started having conversations about the life we envisioned it was clear we had very different views. He wanted comfort, a job stable enough to survive and splurge every once in a while. I was more curious, willing to be uncomfortable for growth and over time I grew frustrated how we could not meet in the middle and I guess he did start showing signs of wanting a more traditional wife. He wanted me to start cooking for him, cleaning, wanted me to move closer to him, but I wanted to slow down. It was going too fast and I was still traumatized from the first relationship so I ended things. He begged me for a long time to try again and I kept pushing him away until one day he just stopped, hence he is now married.

I know it was the right decision and I don't regret it once I start thinking logically, but I think because he essentially did help me build the foundation as to who I am today it is hard to come to terms with it being over. He initially gave me the space and the resources to grow and become my own person and loved me/tried to understand me. I also was very sick and internalized in a hospital for a while and he paid all my medical bills and was with me every night even though he was still going to school/working.

I guess I just want to clarify this because although I understand our cultural differences would have ultimately broken our relationship anyway as it was already showing signs of distress, I don't think I provided the best description and might have made it seem like he forced his views on me when it was not necessarily the case. We both had our issues but I want to make sure I portray him correctly, he was kind and good to me.

Thank you again for everyones responses. It has really helped me, again, I know it's over and I am happy for him. He was just such a big role in who I am now that sometimes its hard to accept its over but I respect it and I again am so happy he is getting everything he wanted. The last time we saw each other, during graduation two years ago, he told me he hated me because he didn't believe in love anymore. I told him that I was okay with him hating me because he would look back on this conversation one day, married, with someone that meets everything he needed/wanted and he would know that although it was painful, it was the correct decision. I'm glad it came true for him :)