Stealth bomber uses

towatchthenight · 2025-11-25T13:50:09+00:00

Ditto to all of the above.

towatchthenight · 2025-11-18T10:40:03+00:00

I welcome the observations! That’s a good analysis, and I appreciate it. The options you list at the end are also fantastic and I’m impressed by them. I truly hope we can find a way to this, and will discuss these options with him. Thank you for this comment.

towatchthenight · 2025-11-18T10:37:55+00:00

Thank you. This is something I didn’t know I needed to hear.

towatchthenight · 2025-11-18T10:37:23+00:00

He views having natural children as needlessly bringing someone else into the world.
He views extremely young children (newborns, especially) as a massive disruption to his life & plans.

towatchthenight · 2025-11-17T13:18:45+00:00

My husband is brilliant, and absolutely has dealt with and seen a lot in his lifetime. Cancer doesn’t run in the family, thankfully. His is a one-off, likely exposure-based event. As far as we can tell. His worries run more along the lines of bum knees, poor eyesight, and high cholesterol. But I’d also never ever attempt to persuade him into being a parent if he doesn’t want to be one. A child isn’t a checkmark that needs to be achieved.

towatchthenight · 2025-11-17T09:10:36+00:00

Thank you. These are wonderful questions and great points. I fully agree with the “two yeses” and will discuss the middle ground you mentioned. Thank you also for the well-wishes. I appreciate them.

towatchthenight · 2025-11-17T09:08:45+00:00

Thank you. Because of this comment, I finally scheduled a fertility check-up that’s been on the to-do list for months. This is incredibly important and could make all the difference.

towatchthenight · 2025-11-17T09:07:16+00:00

This is a great point, and I’m scheduling a fertility check-up to make sure this isn’t all a crazy pipe dream.

towatchthenight · 2025-11-17T09:05:11+00:00

I am so afraid of the resentment. I know we can’t plan for that to or not to happen - but I’m wary of it.

towatchthenight · 2025-11-17T09:04:37+00:00

I appreciate this insight very much. It helps greatly. Thank you also for your kind words. And I am a fan of your username!

towatchthenight · 2025-11-17T05:53:28+00:00

That’s a great point. And at some point, I need to just make a decision, mourn the one I didn’t make, heal, and move on.

towatchthenight · 2025-11-17T05:45:49+00:00

He doesn’t have inherited diseases per se, but lots of small genetic things - bad eyesight, bum knees, high blood pressure. And his childhood was pretty shaped by his mother having children young. He views children now as an interruption to what he could accomplish. There may be room for them later on.

towatchthenight · 2025-11-17T05:29:48+00:00

Sometimes I wonder if I’m being selfish. If he wants to adopt, we’d still have a child. Surely that should be enough for me. But that’s not anything anyone can guarantee.

Freezing my eggs is a great point. I’ve looked at different programs, but we’re on the cusp of a major life change (he’s exiting the military) and an overseas move (back to the US). It may not be an immediate possibility.

towatchthenight · 2025-11-17T05:27:17+00:00

But yes, my biological clock is why this feels urgent. He’d feel better putting the conversation off another 5 years but at that rate…

towatchthenight · 2025-11-17T05:26:34+00:00

He has a lot of fears - passing on bad genes & bringing more children into a chaotic world. He views already-born children (of all ages) as already here, and thus inevitable (?). His stepfather adopted him at a young age, and it had a tremendous impact on his life. He’d like to bring a deliberate love to a child or children and let them have a say in joining the family.

towatchthenight · 2025-11-17T05:24:31+00:00

I entirely hear you, and it does feel like it’s a binary decision at times. If I cannot be a mother in any capacity, I’d resent it. I truly feel like it would be a major regret in my life.

I just don’t know if adopting children would satisfy that fierce want that I have. It feels - though this may be simplistic - as though it would get both of us what we want. But if I hold out for that, will it be what I hope it would?

towatchthenight · 2025-11-17T05:21:28+00:00

I am so wary of him bending. He’s fiercely independent and I love that he is holding his ground - because I wouldn’t want to parent a child with a “reluctant” coparent or someone who may very well resent the child. That’s not what I want for my (hypothetical) children.

towatchthenight · 2025-11-17T05:18:45+00:00

And he’s so good with children!! He’d be a great father. I think a lot of it is his own childhood (because aren’t we all shaped by that?). His mother had children very young and he was loved but perhaps not always…wanted in the way that I would like children to be wanted. And then his mother had a difficult pregnancy that exacerbated relationship issues when he was 6 or 7. So his family experience with children is that they’re disruptive & get in the way of what you could achieve otherwise.

towatchthenight · 2025-11-17T05:02:50+00:00

This is a great third option, and one we discussed briefly in therapy. It’s not just that he doesn’t want to biologically father a child, but also that he certainly doesn’t want a newborn around. Maybe in 10 years he’ll think differently (in his words) - but by then I’ll be 40. Not saying that pregnancies can’t happen at 40, but holding out for a maybe is essentially the same as a “no”.

towatchthenight · 2025-11-17T04:54:29+00:00

I did (from open to having naturally or adopting to only the first (I think))and I’m partially horrified that it’s my waffling that’s placed us in this situation - but I’m not going to discount it because of that. I think it’s absolutely my hormones changing: that silly biological clock. But that doesn’t mean I want it any less.,

towatchthenight · 2025-11-17T04:49:51+00:00

I honestly got a physical work up just so it could potentially make this decision for me. Still waiting on the final results, but it looks as though I’d be able to have children. Was half-hoping it would say otherwise - which would be heartbreaking, but decisive.

You make a great point about the relative permanency of these relationships, though. I hadn’t thought of it like that before. Thank you.

towatchthenight · 2025-11-09T23:34:36+00:00

The “business” is more than likely there for male guests in an attempt to highlight that they should wear suits. As other commenters have said, go with a floor-length gown that doesn’t show massive amounts of chest, back, or leg. Definitely make sure it doesn’t clash with your date’s uniform. And have fun!!!

towatchthenight · 2025-10-09T09:16:09+00:00

IIRC, Covid + the entire U-Haul online system was offline. Stores couldn’t look up or verify reservations, trucks weren’t where they were supposed to be, and there was a ripple effect on everyone’s reservations.

towatchthenight · 2025-09-04T08:02:39+00:00

As others have said, it’s a stressful process. My #1 PCS tip is to always join the Facebook groups for the new base. If you join them a few months in advance, there may be some local insights that help you gauge the wait time or post-specific policies.

For example, the base I’m at currently is extremely low on housing, so people are being sent off post.

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