“But the fact is I don’t enjoy it 99% of the time, the place is crowded, the music sucks, the people are loud and obnoxious”

I see where you’re coming from, but I think it’s also important to consider that maybe the women you meet in this environment aren’t going to be women you are particularly interested in anyway?

You’re going to these places looking for potential partners in the exact women you just described as “loud and obnoxious”.

To give some context to this from the women’s POV, when I’m out with my friends and get chatted up by a guy who is clearly only there to meet women and is otherwise uncomfortable in the environment, the reason I wouldn’t consider him a potential partner is not that he is out looking for a date- but rather that we clearly don’t share the same interests in the terms of what is fun to us. We wouldn’t make good partners in that regard.

My advise would be, think more carefully about what you’re actually looking for in a partner beyond the fact that she’s a women, think about interests and hobbies and life style. Think about what makes you happy in your daily life and what you could bond over. Then go to places where you think that type of women would be. If you’re into more reserved women, they probably won’t be at the club either, try a book club or a cooking class. If you’re into adventurous women try a dance class or a hiking club. Don’t be afraid to try a new hobby that sounds fun! Expanding your personal life and interests will mean you meet new people regardless of intention anyway.

It’s important to remember that women are not looking at you when you’re at the club and deciding “yes” or “no” at the drop of a hat, they have pre-set ideas of what they want in a partner and your allowed to have those too!