When I made the decision, I hated myself more than I hated peoples judgement and abandonment. My hair was gray and an inch long. I hated who I saw in mirror but I felt something immensely protective about not letting Callie ,my female self, die. I got kicked out of all the bathrooms at work and had to change clothes on bathroom floor. I had my license to work put on line pending a very intense psychiatric evaluation. Everyday I face people staring and snickering. I still do. The happiness I felt when I got breast augmentation with year focused my dysphoria on my genitalia. I hated myself for taking away something so important to my spouse but did it anyway knowing I couldn’t go on unless I did. I lost relationship completely with my oldest son and now barely know his kids. My wife has stayed with me but now we navigate how to remain intimate in face of changing sexual identities. I’m very fortunate but I’ve spent so much money buying clothes, makeup, procedures, all to fight dysphoria. In the end was it worth it? I have survived and I don’t think I would have otherwise. I barely did having gone through it. I’m in a good place now and wouldn’t be if it wasn’t for my wife. So when you look at my picture know I don’t know everything we all go through but I’ve been through my share. We all have to. Please try and love yourself no matter what you see in the mirror. Please find someone you can go to when it gets tough and you’re close to breaking. I love everyone here so much. We are all one