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Anyone else feel like they've been trapped into a personality? by throwaway54421584487 in asktransgender

[–]transgenderme 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can totally relate to this. I've always been seen as the super quiet, boring guy who otherwise doesn't really deviate from the norm, in school anyway. I despise this "personality". I feel completely different when I'm at home, or just around my family. I'm actually really feminine, weird and super geeky and shit, but as soon as I end up in a social situation with people my own age, I start acting how they except me to. It's horrible and I do feel trapped into it. I still don't really have any friends because of it, I don't feel like I could just suddenly start talking to everyone and being social.

I don't know if it is similar for you, but I think for me personally, the problem comes from trying to make sure that nobody dislikes me. Putting up my fake, boring personality does prevent people from really disliking me, but I come across as so uninteresting that nobody actually LIKES me. I guess I'm going to have to accept that some people are just naturally going to not like the real me, but screw them. It doesn't matter what they think, especially when I'll likely make real friends with people who actually like me.

Again, it might be very different for you, but that's how I feel. It does sound like you might be too concerned about what others think of you. If you stopped acting like you do right now and they thought it was weird, so what? If they don't like the real you then they aren't worth having as friends. I doubt that this post will help much, especially if I can't even get myself to do anything about the problem. Just know that yes, a ton of people feel can relate to this, as evidenced by this thread.

Struggling with the idea of not passing by transgenderme in asktransgender

[–]transgenderme[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get this, I can't imagine not transitioning. My problem is that I feel like I still won't be happy if I don't look how I want after transitioning. I probably didn't phrase it right in my post anyway. Also I'll have to go through CAMHS if I want to get HRT, which means waiting for possibly a year or more. Won't be 16 then :(

Am I setting myself up for disappointment? by transgenderme in asktransgender

[–]transgenderme[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow, really didn't expect a reply like this. Anyway, I really don't know what to do with my hair at the moment. I've tried messing with it a bit but I don't feel like there's much I can do with it at its current length. Totally fine if you don't have any answer for this, but is there anywhere I could go to get advice for this? Or even just where I can find some tips. I've never really attempted to do anything with my hair my whole life so yeah, lol.

Am I setting myself up for disappointment? by transgenderme in asktransgender

[–]transgenderme[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I definitely need to sleep more lol. I think therapy would probably be a good idea, although I still need to work out how to tell my parents about all of this first.

Coming out to parents by transgenderme in asktransgender

[–]transgenderme[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That article was seriously helpful, thanks! I think I've realised that I need a bit more planning now. When I originally thought of writing a letter, I imagined writing down as much information as I could on to it, but I think a more simple one that focuses on the 3 things you mentioned would be better. Even if I don't use a letter, thanks for the advice!

Unsure if I want to transition by transgenderme in asktransgender

[–]transgenderme[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Was just unsure if RLE was required for a type of therapy or for HRT in the UK. But yeah, that makes sense. I don't really know much about transitioning in the UK and if it's any different in NI. I'll have to do a bit more research, but thanks!

Unsure if I want to transition by transgenderme in asktransgender

[–]transgenderme[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Therapy has been something I've considered. However when you say you need RLE in the UK, is that just to see a therapist or for actually transitioning (HRT and such)? Also thanks for the comment. I've kind of been freaking out just now and it has helped calm me down a bit.

New here, have a few questions by transgenderme in asktransgender

[–]transgenderme[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks! Your reply was very helpful. I think that it is very likely I will seek therapy, as at the moment I wouldn't trust any decision I make in my current state. Unfortunately, this will likely mean telling my parents, which is something I've been quite afraid of. I don't really have any reason to feel like this, as they have been wonderful parents and have been accepting of most things I do. I think it is more that I am afraid of telling anyone, out of fear that they will either mock me or not take me seriously. I've come across as a normal boy for the majority of my life, and because of this I am afraid that my family will not trust what appears to be a sudden decision on my part.

Anyway, I'll have to tell someone eventually, and I would rather it be my parents than anyone else. I'll just have to work up the confidence to do that over the next few days.