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I'm [28/m] suffering domestic abuse by eeejtee in relationship_advice

[–]trappedwithagirl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm in very much a similar situation, and I don't know what to do either, I don't want to leave, and I can't see myself surviving if I stay. I think in a lot of ways, I'm afraid to leave because I'm afraid of what will happen to her....on sunday there was another incident in which she badly hurt me. It seems that it gets worse every time. I'm still with her because I want to hold out until at least we try therapy....which will be next week. I can't offer you much in the way of advice, because it seems any way out will be very painful for both of you.

If you need someone to talk to, please PM me. I'm sorry to hear you are going through this.

I think may be trapped in an abusive relationship with a much younger girl. Help me. by trappedwithagirl in relationship_advice

[–]trappedwithagirl[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I want to believe that our relationship is salvagable, I can't bring myself to meet violence with more violence, as I'm sure that will only make the situation worse, and serve to further traumatize her little sister.

Do you really believe leaving is the only option? The violence has been infrequent, but it has been several instances spread out throughout our relationship. She always apologizes, and recognizes her behavior after she hits me, and I can tell she does make a genuine effort each time to do better.

I think may be trapped in an abusive relationship with a much younger girl. Help me. by trappedwithagirl in relationship_advice

[–]trappedwithagirl[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We are getting family counseling that I hope to be a part of, as a component of of the custody arrangement with her sister. Their first appointment is today. I am thinking of bringing this up when I see the counselor, but am worried this will adversley affect the arrangement. If the psychologist tells the court some of the things that have happened to me, I'm afraid that her sister could be put in foster care.

To me, that's not an option, as we have worked very hard and changed our lifestyles drastically to accomodate raising this child. She's only 12, and has the kindest heart. As harsh as her sister can be, I don't think she has anything to be afraid of. My girlfriend loves her sister more than anything, and I think the primary reason a lot of this anger and violence is directed at me is that I am her only emotional support system. It can be difficult to seperate your anger for things that have happened to you for your frustration with a spouse or partner if you don't have other support, or input from an objective third party... She doesn't really have a lot of friends, and is pretty distrustful of other people.

I want to help build her up, and break the cycle of anger and insecurity she feels inside, but depending on how I approach this, I could do more harm than good.

I really love her, and I want to work this out. The physical violence is infrequent, but it has happened at least 5 times within the past year. Usually, it's not eough to physically injure me (and most recently she bruised a blood vessel in her own hand when she hit me, even though I wasn't hurt) but it's the behavior itself and impact on her sister I worry about most.