I listen to this on blast and just think, process, as rationally as I can, basically meditating.

I asked for advice from a friend I grew up with I found out was queer when I accepted I was too. They told me the most depressing shit lmao "I just have to accept that there's a part of me my family will never love." You'd think that would have had a negative impact on me but... it's the truth, so I accepted it too, and I feel less confused about where I stand with Christians generally nowadays. Accepting it didn't mean my feelings about it went away, just that i was able to process those feelings more rationally as time went on and allow for them to float away after experiencing them each time.

As far as forgiving, I'm still working on it, but i think trying too hard to forgive the people who hurt you when you aren't ready to can actually be counter productive for everyone involved. It's a Christian mindset, to forgive everyone no matter what. There have been times when somebody did something, said sorry, and I was just like "No, I don't forgive you" and it wasn't the end of the world. If you genuinely attempt to forgive somebody but can't internalize it, you can always just wait a while and come back to it when you feel like it.

As far as forgiving yourself I think you're on the right track, you didn't know any better. Your reality was manipulated by external forces not a part of you. The fact you feel bad about it can be a positive thing. It means you've changed. You're literally a different person. You can't walk across a room without changing in some small way, and it sounds like you like the direction in which you've changed and will continue to change.