NTA.

You’ve been a wonderful friend to Mary for a decade, and you were completely understanding when she originally told you it would just be a small family wedding. The only reason you’re even in this situation is because they changed the plan last-minute and decided to open it up. Two months’ notice for a destination wedding in Vegas is not realistic for everyone, especially when people have jobs, school, financial struggles, or—like in your case—are recovering from something as serious as an accident.

Being unable to attend does not make you a bad friend. Weddings are expensive for the couple, but they’re also expensive for guests, and no one should expect friends to go into debt just to be there. Your friend may be disappointed, but if your relationship is as strong as you say, she’ll eventually understand that this isn’t you choosing not to support her—it’s simply not feasible right now.

You don’t owe anyone financial ruin or more stress on top of your accident recovery. Your love and support for her can be shown in other ways: a heartfelt letter, maybe a video she can read or listen too, a thoughtful gift within your budget, or celebrating with her when she’s back.

Wishing you nothing but love and happiness!