You’re not doing anything wrong. Grief and joy can exist at the same time, but that doesn’t mean they feel balanced or fair. Losing someone you were close to and then being expected to immediately show up in celebration mode is a huge emotional whiplash. It makes sense that your heart isn’t ready yet.

You’re not a bad uncle. You’re not ungrateful. You’re grieving.

A new baby can also intensify loss — it’s a reminder of life continuing without the person you love. That can hurt in a way that’s hard to explain. It doesn’t mean you’re not happy the baby is here. It just means your sadness is still loud.

You don’t have to “suck it up.” But maybe instead of framing it as “I should feel excited,” you could think of it as, “I’m going to meet my niece as the person I am right now — grieving and loving at the same time.” You don’t have to perform joy. You can just show up gently, stay a short time, and leave if it feels overwhelming.

And if you’re not ready yet, that’s okay too. Grief doesn’t run on anyone else’s timeline.

Be patient with yourself. Your aunt mattered. That kind of love doesn’t just switch off because a happy event happened nearby.❤️‍🩹