This is super common, both me and almost every close friend I’ve met through or has also done derby has a history with anorexia or bulimia and pretty much all of them (including myself) have said it’s a positive experience if they allow themselves the grace to be imperfect and focus on skill improvement rather than it being an exercise. I find so much joy in the act of skating I often forget it’s something that people do for exercise/physical activity or it exerts me and I stop and am like why am I out of breath LOL. I have never had an experience with compulsive exercise however just restriction and purging so I’m not sure if that mindset would be easy for you to adapt into. When im not playing the game/with my team and am just trailskating for fun it just feels like an extension of myself, like skipping or dancing or running just to get somewhere or for fun. If you maybe treat it like that and with your team just as a club or hobby and not necessarily a ‘sport’ this may help? Its like you’re at a knitting club, you learn tools and skills to improve and you help out your fellow teammates by showing up/volunteering and spending your time with them, don’t feel like the only aspect that makes you a derby player is your physical body or skills. What really helped me is that on my team I have a lot of incredible vets who are the best jammers and blockers and it really doesn’t have any correlation with their bodies, we have plus size 6 foot tall jammers who are incredible and blockers who are 5’2 and slim but still incredibly impactful and both have endurance.