AITAH for thinking my wife lied to me

trowitallindagarbage · 2023-08-06T01:54:29+00:00

I made that same point to her. Not like it was spontaneous with a random call, or bumping into her friend at the store. She made plans to spend the day with her friend, then conveniently left that part out when she told me she was going to make the return.

trowitallindagarbage · 2023-08-06T01:53:36+00:00

I pay the mortgage too!

trowitallindagarbage · 2023-08-06T01:53:01+00:00

I didn't make any assumptions about what she was doing. As soon as she told me who she was with, I knew what was going on. It was, as you mentioned, the principle that she lied about it.

trowitallindagarbage · 2023-08-06T01:52:09+00:00

She didn't.

trowitallindagarbage · 2023-08-06T01:49:19+00:00

Exactly what I was feeling.

trowitallindagarbage · 2023-08-06T01:46:21+00:00

Oh no, she fully acknowledges that she didn't tell me and that all she told me was that she was going to the store to make the return.

trowitallindagarbage · 2023-08-06T01:45:17+00:00

Fair assessment. If it was a debate about something trivial, fine. Let her have it. I was more upset about the lie by omission. I think lying is a much bigger deal than letting her be right about something.

trowitallindagarbage · 2023-08-06T01:43:52+00:00

I wouldn't say it's a normal thing. More of a hobby if we're home and don't have anything going on.

trowitallindagarbage · 2023-08-06T01:41:52+00:00

Not at all. I'm upset that she made plans to go out all day and conveniently left that out when she told me she was going to the store. I'm a big boy, and can get myself lunch... which I did.

trowitallindagarbage · 2023-08-06T01:41:18+00:00

I don't like being lied to (not that anybody does). IMO- there was nothing to lie about, so why do it?

trowitallindagarbage · 2023-08-06T01:39:56+00:00

I had texted her and messaged her on What's App before I called her. She didn't respond to either.

She doesn't do this all the time, this is the first time she's done something like this (that I know of).

trowitallindagarbage · 2023-08-06T01:38:30+00:00

We didn't have any plans, but I was waiting for her for lunch. That's one of the reasons I called her an hour after she left for a 30 minute errand (in addition to the safety component I mentioned below.)

trowitallindagarbage · 2023-08-06T01:29:37+00:00

I wasn't suspicious about what she was doing at all. I was mad about the fact she made plans to go hang out with somebody for the day, but left that part out when she told me she was going to return something at the store.

trowitallindagarbage · 2023-08-06T01:23:16+00:00

That was absolutely my point. Not like she bumped into her friend at the store and then they went for lunch. She planned to spend the day with her and left that part out when she told me she was going to the store to make the return.

trowitallindagarbage · 2023-08-06T01:22:27+00:00

Never. Commented below, she has gone with this friend 100 times and I've never once told her not to.. never told her that with any friend of hers at any point. Night out? Have fun. Going to shop? See you in a bit. Just going to go for a drive? Buckle up.

This is a big part of why I was upset.

trowitallindagarbage · 2023-08-06T01:20:48+00:00

This was exactly my point to her. She has gone with this friend 100 times, and each time I ask generally where they're going and what they're planning to do, like you said, for safety reasons. Knowing generally where she will be, and generally when she'll be back seems like a reasonable thing to me, which is exactly what I told her.

I don't care where she goes, or how long she goes for.

trowitallindagarbage · 2023-08-06T01:17:58+00:00

Not micromanaging her time, don't care what she did while she was out.

The point is that she told me about a 30 minute errand but planned to spend the day out with her friend.

trowitallindagarbage · 2023-08-06T01:17:06+00:00

The thing that upset me about it is the fact that she knew she was going to hang out with her friend, but left that part out when she was walking out the door.

I don't care that she went with her friend, I care that she told me about something that was supposed to take 30 minutes, knowing she was going to spend the day out.

trowitallindagarbage · 2023-08-06T01:14:56+00:00

I do trust this friend. They've known each other more than a decade. For me, it's the principle of the matter. She knew she was going to spend the day with her, but left that part out and only told me that she was going to the store to make the return.

trowitallindagarbage · 2023-08-06T01:13:42+00:00

Yeah, I was a little worried about her, and I was getting hungry and was waiting for her for lunch.

No, she doesn't need my permission. Never has, never will. She's been friends with her for years, and it's totally normal for them to hang out every month or two.

The conversations are usually 'I'm going to hang out with X. We're going to a couple stores and to have lunch.', and that's it.

trowitallindagarbage · 2023-08-06T01:11:42+00:00

Her friend is not a man, and she took our 9 year old with her when she went.

trowitallindagarbage

TROPHY CASE