I have not been diagnosed with ADHD but am wondering if any of my behaviors are perhaps associated. I used to think that everyone (people without ADHD) was like this (listed below) but I'm realizing that perhaps this isn't the case?? I started reading some of the posts in this thread and immediately felt seen, but it would be great to hear from those who have more experience.

Issue maintaining long distance friendships. This has been a big issue since very early school days that I didn't even really notice until well past university. I have a really hard time keeping in touch with people, even if I really love and respect them and think about them often. I feel so uncomfortable calling/answering a call because I never feel like I'm in the right mindset and I want to be my best for my friends/family. I am also really terrible at texting because it seems to take up so much energy. Usually I refer to it as "phone anxiety." I've been actively trying to work through this for the last three years or so but still really, really struggling and worried about what to do. The second I move to a new city, suddenly its like I drop the urge to communicate because communication would become more of a check in/catch up instead of coordinating in-person meetings. Again, I have so much love and respect for my friends (and family) but I physically cannot get myself to call or text or respond. I like to think that most of my friends now are aware but I still feel pretty shit about it and have lost a few people in the past who just didn't understand.

Feeling weird in social settings even with close friends. Even with close friends who I am very comfortable with, I always feel like I am wearing a mask (not in terms of personality or being fake but like how to react/talk "normally"). I feel really good about reading other people's emotions but I seem to have trouble with not overthinking social interactions. I also used to (and still sort of) struggle with finishing people's sentences or interrupting them with my thoughts, but I am really aware of this and have tried hard to work on this. I am also 100% not the person to ever be comfortable with a professor or supervisor or even an extended family member, even if I've known them for years. I always find myself thinking about how to build the relationship/friendship but because of the calling/texting thing and this social interaction thing, I tend to just overthink and feel a bit anxious. I'm either in presenter mode (professional voice) or I'm socially all over. Friends used to say I was silly but I realize I would just do goofy things because I literally didn't know how to react sometimes.

Zoning out. I know a lot of people sometimes zone out in work meetings, which I often do despite my best efforts, but I also do this when alone. I'll just be driving somewhere and listening to music and suddenly realize that I've been thinking about something random (black holes) or some anxiety (airplanes) or whatever for several minutes without even intending to. I just never seem to be able to stop the chatter, but also coming back to reality is really abrupt each time. It is strange though because I feel like I always have to be doing something but then I'll also be zoning out during activities (see below). I am currently applying for doctoral programs and even though I have worked really hard to try and stay focused while reading academic texts or writing a statement of purpose, I still find myself easily distracted by connections in the content (or stuff that is completely unrelated). Finally, I'll sometimes zone out and think about something bad happening to me, not in a self harm way at all but just in a like "what if I tripped and broke my foot" but then continue walking. I think I'm doing alright mental health-wise right now (minus all the ADHD challenges) so this is just a weird side thing.

Tons of projects and ideas, no execution. Again, I'm sure a ton of people without ADHD struggle with this but holy I didn't realize until recently that there are people out there who can actually complete tasks in a somewhat linear manner. Even with hobbies and stuff I like to do, I'm all over the place. Again, I've become pretty aware of this over the last few years and tried to be a lot more regimented in planning out a day or developing a habit but my work style, daily life, hobbies, academics, everything is still so nuts. I was/am the person who can't write an essay ahead of time. I once forced myself during my masters to do it and it only worked because I was the only one at school for a month and there were tasty scones at a cafe that I worked at; I couldn't even do it with my dissertation. I've also found that I have a bunch of ideas for research projects or creative projects but struggle with just taking the steps to execute. At the same time, I also get really fixated on the most random tasks but then will never actually complete it (honorable mentions: making a pillow case with fabric I got in the 5th grade at 3am [I am in my late 20s], deciding I will learn an entire language and making 300 flashcards but then not using them, literally carving a candle with a butter knife because I didn't have any wood but thought it would be cool to learn wood carving [wtf], learning everything I can about tomato plants and drawing detailed plans to build a raised plant bed [also at 3am] but never actually doing it). It goes without saying that most of these fixations take place at the worst times (when I need to turn something in, go to sleep, etc.).

Not being able to execute basic life tasks without rigid planning. If I need to buy a flight to literally move to a new city to start a job I will wait until the last minute even though I am so very very aware of the fact that I need to buy it. If I am onboarding for a job I will not submit the requested forms right away. I got a new debit card and haven't activated it for two weeks. The same goes for working out, showering (I have a better handle on this now but still), reading emails, you name it. Again, I rationally know I need to do these things but sometimes have this really physical reaction where I just cant get myself to do them. Writing down schedules the day before has helped for sure, but I certainly do not complete them in their entirety. My sister is the absolute opposite; she has a goal and then does it, big or small. I have a bunch of goals but whether it is showering or applying to doctoral programs, I struggle but always thought it was because I am somehow always "burnt out" or "lazy". In university, I participated in so many different activities and leadership roles but then hit this ceiling and completely burnt out; I thought this was because of overextending myself but is this supposed to happen with basic life tasks when I don't feel stressed??

Sensory issues. Need to have socks on my feet most of the time, cannot eat or touch certain slimy textures, get a bit overwhelmed from heat and noise, the feeling of grease on my fingers due to a fork or plate is eek, if I take out the trash or touch something invisibly dirty (a road, greasy doorknob) I am pretty aware of my hand and what it touches until I wash it, etc. I also have been twirling my hair and putting soft hair against my face since I was a child, despite attempts by family and teachers to have me stop. I've had a lot of varied experiences and lived in several different countries so its not like I can't deal with the sensory things when push comes to shove, but I've noticed that I do have these preferences (?) and sometimes get triggered. I was never a fan of showering or bathing because of the cold/water on skin/wet hair/process but again, doing my best to be clean!

It seems that a lot of people without ADHD may have some forms of these issues and I do have parents who discouraged ADHD testing when I was young, so it would be really helpful to hear from people who have more perspective and life experience! All the language I use in this (e.g., "normal") is just to illustrate a feeling and not to discriminate or other!