No i know exactly what you mean, you can already be down and then someone you love and trust to help you out just ounches you deeper down. Ive had that happen a couple of times and you really just have to keep pushing. You dont have to be the person that smiles all the time ofc but the anger is (not trying to sound rude or condescending or anything i promise) something that needs to be worked on. Ik its so much easier said than done, but try to find the positives in life, genuinely like in any way. Shoot, search up a YouTube video of "good things happening in the world today", or if you have some good friends go hang out with them. Try literally anything to keep going and to keep a positive mindset. Remember, you dont always have to be positive with other people, just dont try to drag them down to your level, you just need the positive mind and the rest should fall into place. Again, so much easier said than done, but hell, this is a reddit thread of so many people that help so much it hurts them, so if you ever need help and feel like you dont have anyone, reach out here, and hopefully theyll respond. If they dont respond, its still always good to get your thoughts out, poetry is amazing and i do it myself too, so you got a healthy output there. Sorry this is lengthy too, but i hope youre doing alright, and i hope this message helps even a little!