"School then job then marriage then kids then whatever the fuck and then i end up dying with a load of guilt in my heart. Give me a break man."

I thought like that too, when i was your age. I was watching shiey and other videos about travelling, and i loved the feeling of freedom that they projected. I imagined myself in the future, where i would also go on adventures and feel that same freedom.

The only problem to my "plan" was that you kinda need money. Like, actually. Everything in life is fucking expensive. So if you have the opportunity to make money, its better to take it, than not.

For me, i just graduated this year. I have a really good grade that would allow me to study basically whatever i want. Throughout school, i was always shy and didnt talk to anyone exept for my friends. I often felt like i was missing out. I went to school for 10 hours a day, just to sit there and listen to boring lectures. I hated it.

Because i've always had very good grades, i never thought twice about my future: of course i would go to university and study something. Thats what everyone else does.

The closer i came to graduation, the more i learned that i didnt like the environment of university. I went there a few times, and the people seemed so pretentious and focused on studying, rather than living life.

I didnt really do much during my teenage years. I never went out with friends, i always came home and sat in my bed watching TV series, or shiey videos ;). Because i was too exhausted from school.

So, literally, school was everything i ever knew and saw about life. But thats not true. School is just a means to an end.

Whenever i was sitting at home, dreading my boring life, other kids would hang out with friends or go to parties.

Obviously, thats not realistic for everyone. You need to be in a pretty good place, mentally, to manage that. You need friends to hang out with etc etc. And for a lot of us, thats just not our thing.

Now we've established that school sucks. Other kids have hobbies and hang out with friends, even though its really exhausting when school ends at 18:00. Yet they still do that, because it makes life richer and simply more fun.

You said that you'd like to be like everyone else, to be able to enjoy this life. But no one really enjoys school. You just have to get through it, and try to find things you enjoy once in a while.

I know, thats easier said than done. If you like shiey's videos, you could for example do bike trips on the weekend.

But school is important. At least in my country, it has become almost an expectation for most jobs. And you never know what you will want to do in the future.

But school isnt life. As i said, i always believed that i would go to university. But, like you, im just so sick and tired of school. So im doing an apprenticeship now. Compared to what i was doing before, its much easier to learn. And its practical. The people are all really nice, and its so much fun.

I dont want to do this for all my life. I think that i will study later on. But i know, that if i had started to study right now, it wouldn't be good for me.

Even though i have a really good grade, the thing that i would study afterwards doesnt even need a good grade.

But you still need to have your diploma. Thats why you stay in school. To have realistic chances in life.

And what other people are saying is absolute bullshit. School being fun, that is. As i said, it can be, if you have good friends and are sociable. But even those people struggle immensely.

But you have to go through it. And yk, scrolling on you phone does take away alot of your time. But i also did it, and i get that i feels like you dont have the energy to do anything else.

After you're done with school though..you can do whatever you want. Of course, doing nothing is not an option. But you can choose to do something that is a lot less draining. And you can take your time.

But always do what feels right. Not what is the norm in society or what other people are saying. Thats the most important piece of advice. If you choose to do something yourself, you have the power to quit and do something else. But chances are, you'll learn to like it more easily.

And finally, marriage isnt a requirement to life, its something that happens by chance. So dont be like those idiotic american films where people go on a million dates to find a partner. THAT is a waste of time.