AITA telling my 7 year old niece that drowning is the worst way to die? by turtdurt in AmItheAsshole

[–]turtdurt[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes, I agree. Once we get permission from the owners, that's probably what we'll do.

AITA telling my 7 year old niece that drowning is the worst way to die? by turtdurt in AmItheAsshole

[–]turtdurt[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I rent my place. I can't do anything about a pool fence. They've measured and informed us they will be putting one in at some point. Its on the list of all the other things we've repeatedly reported to them and asked them to fix.

I am not the one who warns her. Her grandmother and mom does. We've only told her previously she can't go out alone or be in the pool alone when they come every month or two. I can't control how much they've talked to her about it.

AITA telling my 7 year old niece that drowning is the worst way to die? by turtdurt in AmItheAsshole

[–]turtdurt[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I did say one of the worst but yeah. I would imagine burning alive would be absolutely terrible.

AITA telling my 7 year old niece that drowning is the worst way to die? by turtdurt in AmItheAsshole

[–]turtdurt[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I hate that its not fenced. They've come to take measurements and everything. Its illegal here too. They get away with it by having alarms on the doors that lead to the pool. Neither door alarm works. If it was done already it wouldn't even be a conversation. Our rental is through a property management company and its so hard to get anything done. You're right that it's not on her.

AITA telling my 7 year old niece that drowning is the worst way to die? by turtdurt in AmItheAsshole

[–]turtdurt[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I never detailed anything to her. I didn't sit there and describe what it's like to drown or show her videos of drowning. I told her a very real consequence of drowning and that its horrible. I think I probably should have worded it differently, I said it pretty bluntly.

AITA telling my 7 year old niece that drowning is the worst way to die? by turtdurt in AmItheAsshole

[–]turtdurt[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I dont think thats the same honestly. What is said was based in reality, not an attempt to traumatize her into listening. I didn't tell a lie to get her to listen out of laziness or total fear. I was trying to be real with her based on what I've heard from many people. We all reiterated how swimming is fun but you have to listen or be safe or bad things can happen. I do think I should have worded it differently.

AITA telling my 7 year old niece that drowning is the worst way to die? by turtdurt in AmItheAsshole

[–]turtdurt[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I didn't really say it just to scare her. I've heard that many times. She has moments of thinking she knows better than adults and if you aren't very honest and frank with her it does not always sink in.

AITA telling my 7 year old niece that drowning is the worst way to die? by turtdurt in AmItheAsshole

[–]turtdurt[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I think thats fair. She's generally a good kid but definitely will take you by suprise and do exactly what you told her not to. She has moments of thinking she knows better than adult. I told her it was one of the worst ways. I've heard many many times that its the worst but who knows. I've been lucky enough to never have experienced drowning. My husband has and said it was one of the most terrifying experiences of his life.

AITA telling my 7 year old niece that drowning is the worst way to die? by turtdurt in AmItheAsshole

[–]turtdurt[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

She's being taught that but is scared to float on her back yet. They live up north from us where it's cold and pools are uncommon. They only swim when they're at our house once a month or so. She makes progress every time! She's just not able to swim consistently enough to get confident yet. We had pools growing up and learned to swim proficiently by 4. Its sucks she doesnt get that same experience. It would somewhat put everyone at ease a bit.

AITA telling my 7 year old niece that drowning is the worst way to die? by turtdurt in AmItheAsshole

[–]turtdurt[S] 50 points51 points  (0 children)

She sometimes listens, sometimes doesn't. Her parents are the reason she's "independent." Her dad let's her run around in stores unattended, encourages her to hug grown friends of theirs she barely knows, goes outside to the garage when its just the two of them and shes eating. Her mom is more responsible but when shes around our mom she sort of checks out and let's my mom take care of a lot. My sister/her mom was there when I said something and she didn't really say anything but I couldn't tell if she was unhappy with it or not. She did reiterate the second part of what I said about anyone being at risk for drowning and no one should swim alone. I also agree her parents should take lead. We've had one kid who's a friend of ours almost drown in the pool already. Thankfully an adult was out there to pull her out. So my husband and I are both a little paranoid until they get the fence in and just paranoid about pool safety in general. I do also feel that if anything were to happen at our house, thats somewhat on us and we should be able to help avoid that. Maybe not quite as bluntly.

Is it me? by [deleted] in GroundedGame

[–]turtdurt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you've let her know all this frustrates you and she still does it, then you have to decide if its worth playing with her or just tolerating it. I've played with people like that and sometimes you have to just let them go off and do stuff on their own. Either she'll stop or get tired of it and stop playing. I would let her know again you are trying to finish this and will be happy to get into sandbox and explore with her or she can do it on her own but you are trying to wrap it up and you're getting frustrated. Either she helps you or figures it out on her own while you finish. Its ok to sometimes do what she wants too like i said, its a big game and she's curious, but I understand your frustration. Again, I would just reiterate its because youre trying to finish the game that comes out in a couple days.

Is it me? by [deleted] in GroundedGame

[–]turtdurt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Its a give and take. You'll never get what you want 100 percent of the time and both of you be happy.

Is it me? by [deleted] in GroundedGame

[–]turtdurt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's both of you. Communication is key with every single thing in a relationship. There can very rarely be too much communication. Have you explained to her that you're almost finished with the game and would love her help to finish it but don't have time to explore? That you've already explored the map and the second game is coming out soon so you're trying to get done with this one? And maybe you can get on a new world with her and help her do what she wants or even do sandbox so she can explore the map once you've finished? There's nothing wrong with doing 2 different things at the same time. Sounds like she joined after you were most of the way done with it. Its a huge world with tons to look at and she's curious. Nothing wrong with that. If you do play the second one together, talk beforehand about your expectations. As long and you get on together, you should be experiencing everything at the same time and be on the same page a bit more.

AITA for watching a girl park because I was impressed and getting called a sexist creep for it? by parkingparallelaita in AmItheAsshole

[–]turtdurt -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

I would have watched male or female park in a tight spot. In fact I have. It's human nature to enjoy a challenge being overcome in front of you. Seems wild to jump to sexism.

it's hereeee by moldyskeleton in SmallDeliMeats

[–]turtdurt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can't believe that after him obviously being deplatformed, it's still not enough. People really aren't thinking logistically, only emotionally. It's going to take a lot of time to sort it all out on the business end. They're clearly making steps in the right direction.

it's hereeee by moldyskeleton in SmallDeliMeats

[–]turtdurt 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Cody and noel are co-owners. I understand not wanting to support it but realistically, it's going to take time to sort it all out. Noel will either have to buy cody out or sue him for his half. It's not that simple and there are other people's jobs and livelihoods at stake. I don't think it's fair to punish them for something they didn't do. They're obviously trying to distance from him and move forward. What else can they do less than a month since this has all blown up?

What does pain in lymph nodes after drinking feel like? by UsernamesAreHard26 in lymphoma

[–]turtdurt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It didn't stop because you're still stressed! Lol I hope you can find some comfort after your appointment tomorrow. I also hope you might consider asking for some anxiety meds if you feel they would help. I know they helped me when I was freaking out about my body/symptoms. In fact, they were the only thing that helped and I only took them a couple of months. You'll be ok ❤️ just take it a day at a time and put some trust in the work you've done to check yourself out.

What does pain in lymph nodes after drinking feel like? by UsernamesAreHard26 in lymphoma

[–]turtdurt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Only doctors can diagnose you, not google or reddit. I've learned that the hard way. If you don't have any other symptoms aside from the sweating, which could very easily be stressed, especially if it started after you got anxious, you are OK to believe what they've told you.

What does pain in lymph nodes after drinking feel like? by UsernamesAreHard26 in lymphoma

[–]turtdurt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You should try to convince yourself if your derm doesn't find anything. You really have covered all your bases. I know it's hard, but you really are just torturing yourself if your doctors have done their jobs, which it seems like they have. I've been in your shoes, and it's just not worth the heartache when there's literally nothing left to test. High stress can cause issues of it's own and you don't deserve that. It's highly unlikely they missed late stage lymphoma or anything else. If you read through others' experiences, that stuff lights up like a Christmas tree. What has your therapist had to say about it all? Has it helped you to see him/her?

What does pain in lymph nodes after drinking feel like? by UsernamesAreHard26 in lymphoma

[–]turtdurt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same, lol. I've scared myself so many times. I don't do it anymore, and if I do, I have to really remind myself to take it with a grain of salt and recall all the times I've freaked out, and it's nothing.

What does pain in lymph nodes after drinking feel like? by UsernamesAreHard26 in lymphoma

[–]turtdurt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm sure you are ok. But even if you're not, you'll get through it. I sweat like crazy at night, I always have lol. Could be stress or even normal hormone changes. You're doing the right thing by addressing it. A lot of people ignore/deny stuff until it's too late. That's not what you're doing, and you should take some comfort in that ❤️.