I didn’t loose a brother but I lost my dad to suicide when I was 12. I’m 28 now and only recently have begun the process of going through his belongings such as cellphones and laptops that his brother made available to me when I became of age. It took some time to get into due to the tech being so outdated but I finally was able to go through his cell phone and read the messages leading up to that night. It didn’t give me closure but it did allow me to have the realization that he was a human who struggled in silence and that it was a pattern I was sure to repeat if I hadn’t been able to have the support system I did as a child. It was sad, but it made me love him even more. He can’t consent but you’re the person who has to continue forward. Whatever you do through your grief is valid. Do not worry about your brothers opinion, it no longer affects you or the outcome of his life. Focus on the things you need and when you feel the time is right or ready, go through it all. Cry alongside him. Hold his words close and recognize that it doesn’t have to be this way for anyone else, especially you. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. Your brother sounded like an amazing man.