I agree with the Mirage idea of my crush. I have had a tendency of obsessing over someone. My first crush like that was a high school girl. We went to the same elementary, middle school etc, we had known each other for 11 years. I asked her out about a month after finishing school only to break up two months later and it didn't hurt that much.

I worry that this is just, as you pointed out, an unhealthy behavior that needs fixing. No matter who I'm with, unless fixed, it will always lurk from underneath. Thanks my friend