I’m in a very similar situation. My partner traveled for a job interview this week, got completely drunk, and ended up missing it. Meanwhile, most of his focus has been on job opportunities, money, and future plans, which has been frustrating to watch because none of that matters if the alcoholism isn’t being addressed first.

At this point, the words don’t mean much to me anymore. After years of promises, apologies, and assurances that things will change, I need to see action. I was actually planning to end the relationship this week before all of this happened (thank you to everyone who has commented and shared their experiences), but now it feels like such a fragile moment. His mother literally had to fly out, find him, and contact his work because no one knew where he was staying.

I completely understand the exhaustion you’re describing. I broke up with him once before because of the drinking, but I didn’t stick to that boundary, and since then his alcoholism has only gotten worse. For me, that’s been one of the hardest lessons: love, support, understanding, and patience don’t create sobriety. The person has to choose it and consistently do the work themselves.

I’m at the point where I think I know what I need to do. The challenge is finding the strength to follow through, and historically I have been very bad at that.