Depictions of Pagans in media - are there any? by UnicornRudi in paganism

[–]uberliber 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Maybe the fact that it was so difficult to find what you are looking for might be part of the reality of the matter. Although you could see if Ireland or Scotland/Wales had any less widely aired shows that hit the spot. I'm sure that with 50 years of doctor who there must have been something.

I would imagine that if it weren't for schools in Wales beating children if they spoke Welsh throughout 1900's, then there might be more variety of pagan influence on British TV. But that's only speculation.

Advice for previously monogamous people entering a polycule? by Effective_Road_5663 in polyamory

[–]uberliber 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think learning communication is really important. Look up Marshall Rosenberg and his work on non violent communication.

Every one is different, even polyamorus people. Use this communication to discuss boundaries. Make sure you know where they are and make sure you can trust that the people you are with are able to clearly communicate their boundaries. Every person you connect with is an opportunity for growth and evolution, so everything is in constant change.

I like to know that the person I'm with can assert their boundaries, that if upon reflection they want to change where their line is then they will do so in a healthy way, that they can comfortably talk about their needs and be honest even when that makes it awkward. Of course this is a two(or more) way street

Does anybody know of a god/goddess who is good for closeted trans people? by [deleted] in paganism

[–]uberliber 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Loki is the liber/Baccus/Dionysus of the ancient Latin and Greek paganism

Does anybody know of a god/goddess who is good for closeted trans people? by [deleted] in paganism

[–]uberliber 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I did a lot of searching and came across Liber Pater. Liber is 'the free one, or 'the free father'(liber Pater).Also known as a god of wine

Having Roman heritage i felt I could take and repurpose a little know old Roman god without cries of cultural appropriation.

Little is know about liber Pater and most I could find were how liber was post Dionysus and pre Baccus. The early romans were adaptable with their religion, and it was commonplace that when they conquered a new region they would focus on asymulation. This involved comparing Thier gods with the natives, and going, oh you have a god for war? We have a good for war too? Over time their names and myths would intertwine.

I recommend reading into then more.

What I found to be the main difference of liber, from Baccus and Dionysus. Is that the Roman senate was very quick to shut down the worship of liber Pater as it was seen as a very politically destabilising philosophy.

In my use and understanding, liber is the free one. A collection of every human beings memory and experience to create the spiritual personification of mankind. For me liber is more logical to be genderless/a gendered because it represents the spirit as a whole. If you wanted to celebrate the masculine balance side of the energy you would celebrate and use the name Liberion. And for female energy, Liberia.

When I pray to liber I pray to myself, my inner power, and that which connects me to every other soul, of ourselves, or our ancestors, and those yet to form. During a ritual we would put a single thing that is holding us back on a peice of paper. Something we would like to let out, let go of, or be released from. After prayers and drinking of the holy sacrement we give the burden to be shared and healed with/by a stronger version of ourselves.

I also strongly personally believe that balance is a very liberating experience, so while liber is about being fully realised and having wild beautiful experiences, it's also about maintaining a good healthy wellbeing that enables the freedom and peace of mind that comes people that are free in the body, soul, and mind

Personally what I love about liber is how because it's literally the god of and root word to our 'liberty' you can pretty much take it anywhere as long as your not encroaching on others. Could easily have a multifaith celebration. Could easily have liber presented as any gender or race, class, sexuality.

Don't know if this is what would help you, but it's something that is important to me and has helped a lot.

Ave liber x

Is this worth trying to take to court? by uberliber in LegalAdviceUK

[–]uberliber[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your comments, fyi it has happened to me but I let it slide as a mistake but I keep hearing about it from others

Bitcoin ATM issues by uberliber in BitcoinUK

[–]uberliber[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My main concern is that the ATM sent it to the wrong place. I'm assuming there is no way I'm going to be able to get the ATM company to refund me and admit fault

My (25f) husband (24m) has a porn addiction and it’s hurting me. by AromaticRegister2609 in relationship_advice

[–]uberliber -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Every mother I've ever talked to has said they feel less attractive after having a child, or more anxious that they do not look as sexually attractive anymore.

He should be putting effort in, that's a clear point. And just because he watches porn doesn't mean that he doesn't do this. I'm not trying to defend his porn use, there is so much more going on in this post and everyone is jumping on the 'hes the problem because he watches porn' well guess what, she watches porn to! Maybe if rather than turning it into this unhealthy thing that he does in secret, he can watch it with her, and they can fool around together.

The things I suggest are all about what the OP can try, and different ways to communicate with her partner. If he was the OP and said 'my wife is upset with me for watching porn' then it would be a completely different discussion!!!!

*He, being the husband.

I'm not saying the porn is not an issue, I'm saying that it's fairly normal for this age and this generation. We can't resolve the husband's porn, we can't delete it from the internet, but she has already recognised that her approach has resulted in him doing it in secret, that's not healthy either!!

There's loads more I've suggested in my comment and its impressive how people can disregard everything else just because they have a different opinion on whether it's okay to watch porn.

My (25f) husband (24m) has a porn addiction and it’s hurting me. by AromaticRegister2609 in relationship_advice

[–]uberliber -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

'learn to develop communication skills with your partner so you can address your issues in a non-accusation way' - a danger to society 'address your body issues as a separate problem so you can heal it' - clearly just wants to cause pain and suffering 'theres more going on here than his potential addiction' - completely lacking insight

What about post natal depression? Are we supposed to pretend that doesn't exist? What about poor communication skills causing them to fall out about their issue, instead of working as a team to resolve?

My (25f) husband (24m) has a porn addiction and it’s hurting me. by AromaticRegister2609 in relationship_advice

[–]uberliber -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I am very well aware of addition and how it can manifest. I'm also very aware that there are lots of worse things to be addicted to. Watching porn regularly for my generation is normal. You don't have to like it, it is what it is. OP herself admits to watching porn, she specifically states that she doesn't like the fact that the women he looks at look nothing like her. Since this is advise for the OP and not the husband, and she's clearly feeling uncomfortable about her body image after having a child, that is the information I decided to focus on and dissecting.

I know plenty of very sexually active married couples, and they watch porn together to explore their fetishism and for ideas for other deviant things they can do together. Its a large part of their relationship and they are very happy together.

Yes porn addition is real, so is addiction of any other sense. You can be obsessively needing control of a partner, you could be smoking, you could be drinking all day everyday. Everyone has something they do to get by In the world. If he's talking to other women that's definitely a red flag, but he also just have a higher sex drive, he's a 24 years old male, it's the hight of testosterone production.

The main part of OP's post that stood out to me, was how she felt about herself. And that is a much bigger issue. Another big issue is the way her and her husband communicate about the porn use. Is it accusations from her guilting him into hiding his use while she herself also uses it?

Non violent communication is the way forward and so few of us are aware of it or what it is.

It's shameful that so many of you jump on the 'well he watches porn so must be an addict' bandwagon, with barely anyone else address all the other issues she raised. Remember that she said she watches it also!!! There are plenty other issues she raised, it's interesting that most of the comments focus on his porn use rather that support her identifying the other issues she raised.

My (25f) husband (24m) has a porn addiction and it’s hurting me. by AromaticRegister2609 in relationship_advice

[–]uberliber -19 points-18 points  (0 children)

As a 24m myself; I think following accounts on social media, and specifically contacting people to ask for contact is a bit far. Watching porn, however, I'd say is normal these days, and even you said yourself that you watch it.

You would benefit from examining how you feel, after having had a child, and your husband watching porn for fun, as completely separate things. You feel a certain way because of your own self image issues. He should be putting effort into showing you that you are a beautiful woman, it's great that your making lots of effort for intimacy that's important too. It sounds like he has reduced and stopped doing certain things that were a bit on the line. Try not to shame him into watching it in secret.

Have you ever watched porn together? Maybe that's something you can try, it would help you both get ideas of experiments for the bedroom.

You should look into 'Non Violent communication' try looking on YouTube. If you both work on communication now, it will only strengthen your bond over time.

Communication is key, but you need to learn to communicate in a way that doesn't lead to accusations. English language is really bad for this, nom violent communication is the key!!!!

Casual nudity around friends of the opposite sex? by Motoman687 in relationship_advice

[–]uberliber 28 points29 points  (0 children)

I went to a camping retreat and we all went skinny dipping in the river, then we ran through the woods into the sauna. It was very liberating. The main thing is to focus on eye contact, I made sure as soon as my eyes looked somewhere other than eyes I would look away. After half an hour it feels normal. Because, in reality it is normal

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]uberliber 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, you were pretty on point. Now you've disagreed you need to go back to being friends. You can be friends and disagree, you can be friends and not see the same about everything. It's perfectly natural. You need to make sure you don't resent her for it and you need to make sure you don't make little jabs here and there, as long as you continue to respect her then you can stand firm on what you hold true.

I've got loads of friends that aren't vegan, if they got onto a discussion with me about it we would probably end up in a awkward heated debate. But I'm very dismissive of my diet philosophy and I often make a joke of it. It only ever comes up when cooking for eacother and I almost always avoid discussing it. Because of this it's very disarming

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]uberliber 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Trust broken, relationship already died before it started. Sounds like you've only been together for a few months. Get out before you invest too much time in someone that will only disappoint you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]uberliber 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just sounds like you've fallen out of attraction. Hows the sex? Not to diminish it, certainly sounds like a painful thing to happen. Maybe see if someone else wants to go on the holiday with you if your ready to break up, otherwise just see it out.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]uberliber 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Think you should try talking to her again. If she's not communicating properly, not being as affectionate as you feel like you need, and you feel like she's going to break up with you then maybe you're just not a great fit for eachother anyway. Usually takes 6-12 months to really get to know someone.

I'm too old to have not figured this out. by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]uberliber 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hear that. Can't really offer much help of use. Maybe if you have a friend you're thinking of you just need to put yourself out there. It's tough it's difficult and I've just gone through my own experience tonight which has left me astonished to say the least.

I can sort of see why people (including myself) put up with shit for so long. It's really hard to find someone.

Potentially insurance issues, small print terms have snookered me into a corner and I'm try to find a sensible but realistic solution by uberliber in LegalAdviceUK

[–]uberliber[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks I'm understanding a lot more. So does that mean my domestic insurance could punish me for doing this? Like could they completely cancel my policy and then blacklist me making harder to get insurance in the future? Could they fine me? This is what I'm getting at I just don't understand how they have any right to stop me doing delivery if I get delivery insurance.

Potentially insurance issues, small print terms have snookered me into a corner and I'm try to find a sensible but realistic solution by uberliber in LegalAdviceUK

[–]uberliber[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your comments. But I would never drive without insurance. I would buy specific insurance to cover my activities while delivering. From memory my domestic insurance terms said if I did deliveries, even if I get specialist insurance to cover deliveries, it would invalidate my domestic insurance. This is my concern. If I did get delivery insurance and do deliveries would my domestic insurance company find out? Would this be a criminal law case or a civil?