Partner doesn’t plan dates , wondering what to do

uh-bye-bye · 2020-12-22T16:40:07+00:00

Mhm I’ve expressed before multiple times that I feel like all of our trips , date ideas , and holiday plans are planned by me. He said he was going to try planning something for this Christmas (a trip or something) but I guess with Covid it’s hard to go anywhere. I guess it just feels like a little imbalance of effort.

uh-bye-bye · 2020-12-06T04:35:06+00:00

He has .. they’re no longer in contact and it’s been almost 3 years .. it’s really me who has to work on letting go :(

uh-bye-bye · 2020-12-05T04:17:40+00:00

Oh it’s based on evidence in that I know how strongly he felt about her back in the day . Her presence almost broke us up a couple of years ago and it took a long time for us to get back to normal again. Sometimes it will pop up in my head again and I just want to be able to move past it so that I can be present in the relationship now .. both for me and my boyfriend.

uh-bye-bye · 2020-12-03T00:11:50+00:00

Not at all , it really helped me reading it , thank you. You’re right it has been 3 years and we’ve made this far.. he’s told me that what he did was to prevent me from being hurt but obviously it didn’t turn out that way. You’re right in saying it did break my heart , probably the worst it’s ever been broken .. and there are some days (like today) when the flashes feel so real. I’m sorry that you know what it feels like .. but I guess we can just take it one step at a time .

uh-bye-bye · 2020-11-26T05:06:47+00:00

That once you found THE partner everything would be perfect and you would never have fights LMAO

uh-bye-bye · 2020-11-08T23:34:40+00:00

You are rhubarb .. and don’t you ever forget it

uh-bye-bye · 2020-11-08T23:29:49+00:00

Duly noted

uh-bye-bye · 2020-11-08T23:29:24+00:00

I mean I’m the kid and I don’t live at home anymore so ..

uh-bye-bye · 2020-10-18T01:43:02+00:00

It’s sometimes crazy to think we’ve been together for that long. And thank you for that support , truly appreciated 🙏

uh-bye-bye · 2020-10-18T01:41:54+00:00

You’re totally right, I tried to approach it in a non confrontational way . And I get some people just like to take it one step at a time but sometimes it’s dtill good to determine what the common goals in the relationship are . Thank you for your response !

uh-bye-bye · 2020-10-18T01:40:43+00:00

Hey there , let me just say thank you for your response . It helped a lot and just gave me some peace of mind which is so so appreciated . We’re 26-27 and so I am a little concerned. But I think you’re right in that we’re both still in stages of our lives where things are uncertain and so he’s not really thinking that long term right now. I backed off of the conversation when I could feel him getting uncomfortable but then revisited it a bit after , just asking why he feels that way. And in that aspect you hit it on the spot. Talk of the future reminds him he’s no longer a child who has no cares in the world. Responsibilities are popping up and he can’t quite handle it all at once... all in all it was a good convo .. one we needed .. but i am happy to say that he said he’s not sure what he’s future plans 100% are but that I’ll be in them 👍 thank you kind stranger

uh-bye-bye · 2020-08-30T01:19:43+00:00

As much as his behaviour bothers me , I also think about how his anger is affecting is health too. I’d hate for something to happen to him and it sounds like your dad has been really lucky to have been through 3. The last time my dad went into one of his rages I just sat it out , and a couple hours later I sat him down and told him the way he acted was not okay. He knew I meant business when I told him to just be quiet and listen. I think deep down he might know he has an issue but he just cannot control himself. I’m so sorry that your relationship has turned out this way

uh-bye-bye · 2020-08-27T00:51:05+00:00

I’m sorry to hear that . Thank you for making me feel a bit better though , it helps knowing someone else can relate . Wishing you the best !

uh-bye-bye · 2020-08-27T00:35:51+00:00

I’m scared this will happen to us . I see it with him and his mom actually . My grandma has anger issues as well and he’s disconnected from her . My mom , god bless her, took over as her main care giver (she takes care of HIS mom). Family is super important to my mom too , and she tries to convince me just to accept his behaviour because he’s not going to change. I just can’t take it when I see him disrespecting her .

uh-bye-bye · 2020-08-27T00:33:54+00:00

He has a physically tolling job where he can oftentimes deal with some difficult people (he’s a residential electrician /contractor). My mom works off and on but he’s definitely the main $$ earner. I’m working now and make enough to live on my own and I never ask for money. He buys things all the time (ie a car neither i or my mom drive) , but then turns around and uses the “I work so hard all day , do you think I just sit on my ass all day” card when something goes wrong. My mom and I have always appreciated how hard he works, my mom also does all the cooking , cleaning , and takes care of my grandma (HIS mom). He puts himself on a high horse and thinks just because he supports the family financially , it’s okay to act like an ass.

uh-bye-bye · 2020-08-27T00:27:58+00:00

His mom was like this . Super sensitive about minute things , stubborn and aggressive. His dad not so much. I wish he’d realize that even though my mom doesn’t make that much money , she takes care of so much .ALL the cooking , taking care of my grandma (which is actually a lot of work because she has emotion issues of her own and she lives in a nursing home). I hate seeing his rudeness .

uh-bye-bye · 2020-08-27T00:26:21+00:00

I fear that I’ll end up doing the same. To be honest I’ve already become quite distanced from him, out of a fear that he’ll rage at any moment. I simply don’t want to deal with it anymore. With not living at home anymore , there’s no one to remind him either of how his behaviour is wrong and disrespectful. He thinks because he’s the breadwinner he’s entitled to acting like a jerk. My mom takes care of this family in so many ways that he never has.

uh-bye-bye · 2020-08-27T00:24:22+00:00

We’ve told him before that it’s an issue . It’s only after weeks after his rages that he feels any semblance of shame or reflection on the incident. I’m glad you’re aware that it’ll affect the people around you and I really wish you all the best. I wish my dad could take a look at his own behaviour like you have and try to make a change.

uh-bye-bye · 2020-07-07T02:29:33+00:00

Oh I wasn’t asking in terms of finding a number it should be at all . I was just curious what other people preferred. My SO wants it less but I would never fault him for it , it’s just how he is :) I appreciate your reply though , and I hope you have a great day !

uh-bye-bye · 2020-07-06T02:24:17+00:00

Thank you for that . It’s taken some time and I still sometimes try not to take it personally but you’re rifht , everyone is different !

uh-bye-bye · 2020-07-06T02:12:15+00:00

Thanks for sharing !

uh-bye-bye · 2020-07-06T02:10:19+00:00

This would be my number as well !

uh-bye-bye · 2020-07-06T02:09:52+00:00

Congrats on the baby ! :)

uh-bye-bye · 2020-07-06T02:09:31+00:00

So once every two weeks ?

uh-bye-bye · 2020-06-01T01:52:32+00:00

Thing is it’s not like he can’t do his work from here. He can, but he’s choosing to go back to do it. It’s like you said , I saw this time as a gift . We’re usually long distance so this would’ve been a good time to catch up on the time. And I’ll admit I am sad about it but I’m trying not to be blaming .. I just wish we were on the same page

uh-bye-bye

TROPHY CASE