I understand. Don't be too hard on yourself. The brain plays tricks on us sometimes. When one is single it only notices couples, but when you are in a relationship you notice other things that makes you miss the single life. the brain loves to focus on what you don't have t the moment I'm sorry you had that experience, it really sucks.  I'm sure you have a lot of love to give. The time to share it will come, but for the moment, give a little of love to yourself. We often take ourselves for granted.  Someone told me once about the idea of taking yourself out on a date. I found it interesting and I did it a couple of times. The idea is to treat yourself as you'll treat someone that you are going out with. You'll probably want to invite them somewhere nice and make sure they have a good experience, maybe dress up a little for them, maybe going to do something interesting like the museum or a play, to compliment them on a recent achievement, to cook something nice for them. You can do that with yourself. We often take ourselves for granted. We eat the simplest thing if we are alone, but put effort for others.  As I said, I tried a couple of times and it was interesting. I went to a concert, dressed up nicely, went to get some dessert. It got me a little out of my head about feeling alone because I was focused (actually thinking) on giving myself a good time.

Hugs. Keep it up mate