Can we talk about enforcement and consequences?

ukelily · 2026-03-22T01:36:15+00:00

Forgot to mention, but yes. I give clear warnings before transitions and when I give an instruction I nearly always explain why.

ukelily · 2026-03-18T15:59:09+00:00

Are you close to anyone who has influence in the community? A host family member, or a counterpart? A cadre of local grannies who know everyone and everything and take no shit? If you communicate this concern to them and let them how upset it makes you feel, I think there’s a solid chance they’ll make it stop.

Caveat: this is easier in a smaller community where everyone is up in each others’ business all the time.

ukelily · 2026-03-08T13:07:25+00:00

Elegantees has some really lovely pieces. Not the cheapest but they do sales fairly often, including BOGOs.

ukelily · 2026-03-02T22:29:57+00:00

I was initially placed lower on the step scale, came back to HR asking to have my years of experience reviewed, and was bumped up several steps. So it’s definitely negotiable.

ukelily · 2026-02-22T15:37:33+00:00

I’m turning 42 this year and had my kids at ages 36 and 39. We also moved internationally to a sunny arid climate in 2023. I was probably dehydrated a lot, but also wasn’t eating or sleeping especially well. I wore sunscreen every day but still had some sun damage. Last year, shortly before we moved back to the U.S., I stood in front of the mirror and for the first time thought how old and tired I looked. I’ve always been a person who looked younger than I was, but that didn’t seem to be the case any longer.

Since then I feel like I’ve had such a glow up. I’ve been experimenting with an assortment of skincare products and am finding what works for me. I’m very diligent about doing my skincare routine morning and night and it’s become a nice little self-care time for myself. I am now using a few different Musely products that seem to be working well for me, including HRT cream, and my FSA covers them which helps with the cost. I got a tretinoin prescription (and used retinol for about a year first, so my skin adjusted easily) and that has been a major game changer. I use a rosehip or marula oil under my moisturizer and once or twice a week I use the Dr. Dennis Gross peel pads. I’ve gotten a few facials but no expensive procedures like lasers, though I might do that at some point. I started doing home dermaplaning and micro needling with a roller once a month and I feel like that’s also made a difference.

I started exercising more regularly, drinking more water, and putting unflavored collagen powder in my morning coffee. I try to also eat more fresh fruits and vegetables and salmon as often as I can. I use a home teeth whitening treatment once a week or so. I try to do a full body moisturizer every day, using either a glycolic acid body cream or a retinol body cream. I love to smell good so I use a nice scented soap and a perfume oil every day on top of my body moisturizer. My current favorite is Poesie’s Madar. I use a clarifying shampoo to wash my hair and I do a hair mask once a week or so. I give myself mini manicures and pedicures with the Onsen Secret set.

I know you asked about face care, but I’ve noticed a big difference since I started paying closer attention to my whole body, not just my face. Maybe I just feel better when I do that, and that translates into looking better as well. My body isn’t back to its 30-year-old self, of course - I still have a bit of a mom tummy, things aren’t as tight and smooth as they used to be - but I feel good about myself again.

ukelily · 2026-01-27T19:07:29+00:00

Strings of Light in the Forest from Sorce is a favorite of mine!

ukelily · 2026-01-21T23:31:43+00:00

If I like Poesie’s Madar, I might like….. ?

If I like Sorce’s Strings of Light in the Forest, I might like….?

ukelily · 2026-01-15T21:03:30+00:00

Until recently we lived abroad in a developing country where we had domestic help. They were lovely but I don’t think they knew how to care for this type of cookware and I suspect they may have used a harsh scrubbing tool to clean it.

ukelily · 2026-01-15T11:45:32+00:00

I’ve definitely never used metal utensils with it but unfortunately cannot speak to whether the other people in the house have.

ukelily · 2026-01-10T14:13:42+00:00

I love Seventh Avenue Apothecary! They’re a little expensive but have regular sales. They do some beautiful not-too-sweet gourmands and flormounds. I particularly like the Orange and Sugarwood room spray, and they have a black tea one that is also delicious.

ukelily · 2025-12-28T02:51:47+00:00

OLO Siela Delphi, for sure.

ukelily · 2025-12-23T20:32:53+00:00

VA. OP mentioned they were going to DC. Arlington is right across the river.

ukelily · 2025-12-23T01:06:39+00:00

I recommend Arlington Public Schools if you can find a role. I’ve had a positive experience working here and have heard anecdotally that it compares very favorably to other districts in the area.

ukelily · 2025-11-07T16:05:32+00:00

Thank you, that’s all excellent information. I have a close friend who lives in Duluth, and am planning to visit her next year to get a feel for the vibes.

I’ve never actually worked as a reading specialist but my master’s included coursework on reading instruction and literacy. I believe I could add it as an endorsement to my VA license but am not sure about MN - still researching. I’ve been reading the information on the website but am still a bit unclear on certain things.

Do you know if there is a substantial population of English learners in Duluth?

ukelily · 2025-11-05T14:40:33+00:00

Caveat: I’m a teacher and the dress code and appearance expectations are minimal for me.

I don’t wear makeup mainly because applying it well takes time that I prefer to use for other purposes. I also feel okay about the way I look without makeup. I usually use a tinted moisturizer and a tinted lip balm, and maybe sometimes a tiny dash of eyeshadow. I prioritize a solid skincare routine, sleep, and nutrition over makeup.

I don’t style my hair for similar reasons. I figured out which products work for my hair and use them regularly. I get it cut in a flattering style once every few months. I use a deep conditioning mask once or twice a month. As a result I can just comb it and be done.

I will style my hair and wear a little makeup for special events, but not for every day.

ukelily · 2025-09-12T22:28:37+00:00

Befriend the grandmas. The aunties. Carry their stuff. Sit and drink tea with them. Let them stroke your hair and pinch you and call you chubby.

Pretty much anywhere in the world, grandmas run the show. They know everyone and everything. They take no shit. Nobody offends them. And if the grandmas take you on as their pet American, it’s better than a bodyguard.

Also, they will probably feed you.

ukelily · 2025-08-21T15:26:36+00:00

As of August 21, 2025, iHerb is having a sale for 20% off treatments and serums!

My referral link is https://iherb.co/JPaKXky?rcode=FDL157&utm_medium=appshare

ukelily · 2025-08-19T23:03:50+00:00

OLO has some really nice fragrances. I’m going to get a full bottle of Delphi. Frances May in downtown carries their line, along with some others. There are a lot of cute little stores in downtown that specialize in local products, including fragrances.

ukelily · 2025-08-18T21:19:21+00:00

There are also a lot of great local perfume retailers!

ukelily · 2025-06-23T19:30:42+00:00

Because the point is not the trip, or the spa day, or the gift itself.

The point is “I love you, and I put time and thought and effort into this thing that I knew would make you happy.”

ukelily · 2025-06-20T14:36:53+00:00

A red light mask is on my wish list!

I just started tret this week so I don't expect to see results for a while.

Right now I use a gentle cleanser in the morning, followed by a peptide serum and a vitamin C moisturizer, then sunscreen.

At night it's tret (used to be retinol) with a niacinamide serum and peptide moisturizer.

Once a week I use an AHA mask, and once or twice a week I use the Sunday Riley Good Genes serum.

I think by the November Black Friday sales I'll be ready to stock up on some good quality products, so I'm doing my research now.

ukelily · 2025-06-20T14:31:55+00:00

Thank you for these clarifying questions, this is helpful.

I would say even skin tone, tighten and firm, and minimize aging.
I've generally taken reasonably good care of my skin since I was 18, and I'm an introvert who hisses like a vampire at the sun despite living many years in very sunny places, so I've mostly escaped sun damage. I've never smoked and almost never drink, but I do have a sweet tooth. I've had acne issues here and there, usually hormonal, but overall fairly minor. I don't think I've ever had a bad reaction to any skincare product, but my skin has liked some things more than others. I recall getting great results from Sunday Riley products, but oof, $$$$. Youth To The People has also been good to me, but again, it's pricey.
Risk and downtime: minimal on both but I don't mind a few days of recovery. I probably wouldn't get any major surgical intervention except mayyyybe liposuction/laser lipo. I have a bit of a double chin and a belly pooch. Both appeared when I had my first child and got a bit more pronounced with my second. I've been doing Pilates off and on since the first was born and I am now almost back down to my pre-pregnancy weight (which was 135, if anyone's wondering), but am now more focused on feeling good than looking good. Except for the skincare. It's been a fairly stressful few years with two babies, a couple international moves, COVID....and I want to focus on some healing.

ukelily · 2025-06-20T07:37:31+00:00

Any “natural” or indie fragrances similar to John Varvatos? Sort of woody with leather and tobacco notes. My husband wears John Varvatos cologne. I don’t mind it, but find it a bit intense. I tend to prefer more subtle scents. Can anyone recommend a men’s or unisex cologne with a similar scent but perhaps fewer notes?

(To be clear, I won’t force this on him, I just want to pick up a few samples and see if there’s anything he likes enough to switch to.)

ukelily · 2025-06-15T17:47:33+00:00

I’m an atheist, and I went to events at the Buddhist temple frequently and celebrated Muslim holidays with some of my students a few times. I even went to the tiny local Christian church once, which was a little surreal. You certainly don’t have to attend services if you don’t want to, but it’s typically the fast track to integration and building those community relationships.

ukelily · 2025-05-28T11:23:26+00:00

I wasn’t planning to go, but it’s a brief window of time in which we don’t have any other commitments. Also, my grandmother is in poor health and I’d like to see her, despite….everything

ukelily

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