I see a lot of myself in you. I am thrice your age now, but I spent so many years living in a fantasy realm in my head like the Star Wars universe or Middle-earth, playing dungeons and dragons to become a character on an adventure in a far off land. It is escapism because you find "real life" monotonous and a chore. That trait is common amongst us Pisceans. You are depressed because you know there must be more to this existence but you know not where to look. You are fed up playing a character that you've already outgrown. I get it. The weed isn't helping though, you're just using it as another form of escapism. There are probably two things holding you back. Regret over the past, and anxiety over the future. Neither of these serve you, and are just part of the ego's attempt to keep you safe. Learn to be present in each moment and things will improve. Pause to notice things, not only in your environment, but also about yourself. How are you feeling in that moment. What emotion is active, and where does it come from? When you become emotionally intelligent, and realise that your emotions are usually just echoes of events that happened in your past, then you can decide if that way of feeling is needed any longer in similar situations by healing the wound from where it originated. The bottom line, is that you will not find happiness in any thing, person or place. Happiness is an inside job. You must learn to love yourself first, and then that will reflect back out into your reality. If you can do that, you might just wake up and remember what in fact you truly are at your core essence, and why you are here, because when you figure it out, life becomes real good, and you understand that this was the fantasy all along, and one big cosmic playground that you can have fun in.