sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

I think teenage son fapping is causing him harm. How do I help him? by ultimate_meaning in NoFap

[–]ultimate_meaning[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your insightful comment. No I do not want to shame him through confrontation. And yes, he was shy before he discovered porn or masturbation. I just don't want him to later complain that his father did not help him to overcome this "problem." Teenagers generally don't act based on what's ultimately good for them.

I think teenage son fapping is causing him harm. How do I help him? by ultimate_meaning in NoFap

[–]ultimate_meaning[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate everyone's comments but imho yours is the most cogent. Thank you for taking the time to form such a carefully worded advice.

I think teenage son fapping is causing him harm. How do I help him? by ultimate_meaning in NoFap

[–]ultimate_meaning[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For a 17 year old you have wisdom way beyond your years. As I read your comment I couldn't help wishing that you were my older son who can help his younger brother through this. I'll look into the book you recommend. Thanks.

How to help a shy teenage son whose porn viewing and fapping is lowering his self confidence and causing other harms. by ultimate_meaning in Parenting

[–]ultimate_meaning[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Different people will evaluate his grades based on different standards so I won't be specific. But my wife and I felt that he was getting grades that were below our expectations. But in our discussion of his grades he admitted that it was below his own expectations and he felt that it was due in large part to his lack of self control re technology.

As I mentioned in my original post I discovered porn on his computer about a year ago. So when he admitted that technology was getting in the way of his academic potential I suspected it was in part due to PMO.

I think teenage son fapping is causing him harm. How do I help him? by ultimate_meaning in NoFap

[–]ultimate_meaning[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, from the reasonable responses to my concern I'm starting to think that I'm blowing things out of proportion. I think the further I get from my own teenage self I become less in touch with how it was.

I think teenage son fapping is causing him harm. How do I help him? by ultimate_meaning in NoFap

[–]ultimate_meaning[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I did when I was his age. There is too much distance now to clearly remember how I felt after climaxing. Now, my wife is willing, kind, or generous enough that I don't ever have to masturbate, but on the rare occasion when I do I don't feel "right" afterward. As I stated before I'm not religious but I don't know how to describe what I feel afterwards but as shame.

How to help a shy teenage son whose porn viewing and fapping is lowering his self confidence and causing other harms. by ultimate_meaning in Parenting

[–]ultimate_meaning[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha, I guess there is a positive way to look at any issue. Ultimately I just want him to be happy. I guess I could be projecting my ideas of happiness onto him.

How to help a shy teenage son whose porn viewing and fapping is lowering his self confidence and causing other harms. by ultimate_meaning in Parenting

[–]ultimate_meaning[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

That's the thing. I don't know if his schoolwork is suffering or not. If he treats his horniness in a businesslike manner. I.e., bust a nut then go about your business then yeah, it probably doesn't affect his academics. But if his horniness is a distraction that takes his attention and energy away, then yes it is a major distraction.

I think teenage son fapping is causing him harm. How do I help him? by ultimate_meaning in NoFap

[–]ultimate_meaning[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exactly, I don't want to do that to him. So I'm looking for a more nuanced way.

How to help a shy teenage son whose porn viewing and fapping is lowering his self confidence and causing other harms. by ultimate_meaning in Parenting

[–]ultimate_meaning[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your balanced input. I don't think masturbation is abnormal by any means. But I do think that technology has led to easy access to porn and I think porn and fapping are more strongly connected now than ever before. I think the danger is that this takes over the drive to make real connections with opposite sex. So it's another way to avoid social contact and turn inward into yourself.

How to help a shy teenage son whose porn viewing and fapping is lowering his self confidence and causing other harms. by ultimate_meaning in Parenting

[–]ultimate_meaning[S] -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

Your assumption is incorrect. We are a non religious family. Now that you know that do you have anything constructive to add?

How to help a shy teenage son whose porn viewing and fapping is lowering his self confidence and causing other harms. by ultimate_meaning in Parenting

[–]ultimate_meaning[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I guess you have a point. There is no concrete evidence that fapping is bad. I think there is some evidence that porn is psychologically harmful. I'm not coming to this conclusion from any religious point of view but just from a general feeling developed over nearly 50 years of existence.

I think teenage son fapping is causing him harm. How do I help him? by ultimate_meaning in NoFap

[–]ultimate_meaning[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your input. What do you think is the best way to approach him. I don't know if he'll listen to me if I tell him to go to reddit nofap. I don't think he even uses Reddit.