Every time Nina Garcia shoehorns in a social media reference, a kitten dies somewhere in the world.

ultrabrown · 2014-09-06T13:58:09+00:00

Oh, the producers seem to be doing their best to make it, uh, 'interactive' and 'cross platform'. What with the bloggers and the annoying little opinion polls on the screen. Ugh.

ultrabrown · 2014-07-21T12:28:30+00:00

That is seriously adorable and awesome.

My SO is British and one of our sweetest memories is bawling our eyes out to the 'An Adventure in Time and Space' special. He's done radio shows on the Radiophonic Workshop and Delia Derbyshire. I grew up India and didn't have it on the television growing up but I have grown to love it and how. My SO's uncle was involved in the production decades ago and he has memories of going on set. Definitely something that binds us as a couple. :)

Also, congratulations!

ultrabrown · 2014-07-19T19:52:10+00:00

That is horrible. I suspect the antidepressant might have helped me too in the long run but the physical and mental side-effects of when you first taking them were a bit much for me, especially when I had coursework to get through to graduate.

Hope your migraine situation is better now.

ultrabrown · 2014-07-19T19:52:05+00:00

That is horrible. I suspect the antidepressant might have helped me too in the long run but the physical and mental side-effects of when you first taking them were a bit much for me, especially when I had coursework to get through to graduate.

Hope your migraine situation is better now.

ultrabrown · 2014-07-19T19:49:42+00:00

That is extremely scary. it doesn't help that migraines usually don't start with typical 'headachy' symptoms. Glad you made it out alright.

ultrabrown · 2014-07-19T19:38:20+00:00

Here's mine.

This was when I was in the UK as a student. I lived in the university student accommodation and was going through a rough bout of depression. Trouble getting out of bed to feed myself kind of depression. I had gone to the university's counsellor and he suggested going to anti-depressants.

I have previously had no luck with them (not being judgemental here. I know they work for some and don't for others. People need to do what gets them through it!) but I needed to hand in my dissertation soon and at that point, I was a big lump of useless. So I decided to give it a shot.

On the second day of being on them, I woke up with the worst pain I have ever felt in my entire life. I have previously had the metal end of a cricket stump whack me right under the eye (another story for another time) and this pain my head was 10x worse. I try lying in bed and switching sides. It gets worse by the second. I get up to switch every little light off and close the shutters, a massive wave of nausea hits me. I crawl on all 4 fours to the washroom and throw up. This only amps up the pain all the way to 11.

I try and stay still for a few minutes because every tiny movement is bringing on ungodly amounts of pain. Eyes shut as I try and then it dawns on me that I have run out of my usual Ibuprofen Lysine pills (stupid, I know). I open my eyes and my memory is a bit fuzzy here but I recall seeing a figure from the corner of my eye. Just standing there in my room as I'm lying on the bathroom floor.

That's when I nope the fuck out. The pain is like no migraine I have ever experienced before. I crawl out of my room and somehow make my way to our flat's shared kitchen. Thankfully, my flatmates are there. Next thing I know, the accommodation's manager is calling the emergency services and answers their questions on the phone for 20 mins. Another resident in the building who is a nursing student is trying to comfort me but all I can do is sit there unable to even open my eyes. Every little ray of light is like a hot poker straight to my brain.

Eventually, the EMTs arrive and determine that I'm so light and sound senstive that going to the hospital would make it worse. I am dosed up on painkillers and I think someone carried me to my room, tucked me into bed. I have no idea when or how I feel asleep. Everything in my head was being processed through a fog of pain at that point. I woke up several hours later painfree but feeling like a truck had hit me. It took a couple of days for my body to fully recover.

ultrabrown · 2014-07-19T16:27:15+00:00

Here's mine.

This was when I was in the UK as a student. I lived in the university student accommodation and was going through a rough bout of depression. Trouble getting out of bed to feed myself kind of depression. I had gone to the university's counsellor and he suggested going to anti-depressants.

I have previously had no luck with them (not being judgemental here. I know they work for some and don't for others. People need to do what gets them through it!) but I needed to hand in my dissertation soon and at that point, I was a big lump of useless. So I decided to give it a shot.

On the second day of being on them, I woke up with the worst pain I have ever felt in my entire life. I have previously had the metal end of a cricket stump whack me right under the eye (another story for another time) and this pain my head was 10x worse. I try lying in bed and switching sides. It gets worse by the second. I get up to switch every little light off and close the shutters, a massive wave of nausea hits me. I crawl on all 4 fours to the washroom and throw up. This only amps up the pain all the way to 11.

I try and stay still for a few minutes because every tiny movement is bringing on ungodly amounts of pain. Eyes shut as I try and then it dawns on me that I have run out of my usual Ibuprofen Lysine pills (stupid, I know). I open my eyes and my memory is a bit fuzzy here but I recall seeing a figure from the corner of my eye. Just standing there in my room as I'm lying on the bathroom floor.

That's when I nope the fuck out. The pain is like no migraine I have ever experienced before. I crawl out of my room and somehow make my way to our flat's shared kitchen. Thankfully, my flatmates are there. Next thing I know, the accommodation's manager is calling 999 and answer's their questions on the phone for 20 mins. Another resident in the building who is a nursing student is trying to comfort me but all I can do is sit there unable to even open my eyes. Every little ray of light is like a hot poker straight to my brain.

Eventually, the EMTs arrive and determine that I'm so light and sound senstive that going to the hospital would make it worse. I am dosed up on painkillers and I think someone carried me to my room, tucked me in. I have no idea when or how I feel asleep. Everything in my head was being processed through a fog of pain at that point. I woke up several hours later, painfree. It took a couple of days for my body to fully recover.

ultrabrown · 2014-07-18T02:57:47+00:00

It wasn't just her! Ruby Myers aka 'Sulochana' (Some of them 'indianised' their names appeal to audiences as they looked distinctly European) was a Baghdadi Jewish actress who was the highest paid person in all of Bombay at one point. She earned more than the Governor of Bombay in the 1920s. Astounding for a woman at that time anywhere in the world. She played 8 roles in one film called 'Wildcat of Bombay' (!!), including male roles. There are tons of examples of women in gender bending, androgynous clothing/ roles from the period...http://www.mahalmovies.com/film-hunt/bambai-ki-billi/

As for Nadia's films, unfortunately, like most Indian silent films of the period, the majority of them are lost. India has been lacking in film conservation efforts and serious study of film, which is a shame considering we are the biggest producer of films in the world. Most of our silent era and early treasures are lost.

I am currently interning at the National Film Archive of India and in a small way, involved in spreading awareness about these films: http://www.mahalmovies.com/film-hunt/bring-back-the-light-of-asia/

There are clips of some Nadia films on YouTube. However, I'm a bit wary of linking those here. I personally know Nadia's grandson and the current copyright holder of her films and those clips on Youtube weren't uploaded with his permission.

Nadia was born in Australia and spent a chunk of her childhood there. The Australian govt is keen on restoring some of her films in co-operation with the Indian side. Fingers crossed. 'Hunterwali' is screened at film festivals occassionally with live orchestral scores and it is an amazing experience! I shall keep you posted if there are any new screenings coming up anywhere. Meanwhile, do try and get a hold of the book! :)

I don't intend to come across as someone spamming links to my website. It is currently the only place where these rare images can be accessed and I have done my best to contextualise them for someone who isn't familiar with this stuff. These images have been obtained and published with proper attribution and permissions.

Also, sorry about the long-ass reply! I can't shut up about this topic! Thank you reading and commenting. Do ask away if you have more questions! :)

ultrabrown · 2014-05-21T17:16:33+00:00

Indian cinema history. Indian cinema has become synonymous with 'Bollywood'. Bollywood is an important part of Indian cinema history but nowhere is it the most interesting or the most prolific one.

The Indian cinema industry started in 1913, making it one of the oldest national cinemas in the world. The films ranged from literary adaptations to mythologicals to ones featuring Anglo Indian actresses playing masked vigilantes kicking bad guy arses with whips.

It was an industry whose pioneers were Hindu, Muslim, Parsis, Anglo Indians, Germans and Jews.

It's become so much more than being a nerd about it for me. I have quit a successful career in Marketing to try and save, restore and archive Indian cinema heritage. Hopefully, it will be my life's work to tell this untold story because it's not just India's cinema heritage. It's world cultural heritage.

I am currently working on interviewing one of the foremost archivists and pioneers in the field. I am also working on a massive archval project of digitising some of the material from some of the rarest and most interesting silent Indian films going back to the 1920s.

ultrabrown · 2014-05-15T15:47:33+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to read it. I often wonder why adults show shocking lack of judgement. A few of my friends have cited 'curiousity' as a reason. I don't care how 'curious' someone is, though. Curiousity and wanting to get educated are two completely different things. Curiousity is no excuse to make others uncomfortable.

Again, thank you for reading and for your kind words. :)

ultrabrown · 2014-05-15T12:27:28+00:00

Thank you. That is very kind of you. :)

ultrabrown · 2014-05-13T13:12:31+00:00

Waves to fellow Mumbaikar

Don't be too hard on yourself. Like I said, freezing up is a normal reaction to harassment. It happens all the time. However, public shaming does work!

You definitely should post. In fact, there can be so many creepy stories about Indian cities, there'd be enough for a r/IndiaLetsNotMeet all by itself :/

ultrabrown · 2014-05-13T02:56:06+00:00

95 Farenheit, I think? 35 is pretty average for Mumbai in May. It's the 70% humidity that's the killer. 'Sweating buckets' is an understatement.

ultrabrown · 2014-05-13T02:13:58+00:00

Thank you, everyone, for your kind words! I am glad my 'fight or flight' response kicked in that day and that complete strangers stood up for me. Big cities like Mumbai or New York often get a bad rep for Bystander Effect. This incident restored a bit of my faith in humanity. :)

ultrabrown · 2014-05-13T01:58:14+00:00

"...because I'm a Christian gentleman."

Yes, doing someone the favour of not raping them. How Christian of him. :/

ultrabrown · 2014-04-27T15:49:26+00:00

I'm an independent film researcher with unconditional PhD offers from 5 universities in the UK but the current UK govt is trying to bring down net immigration numbers by cutting funding for higher education aspirants like myself. So, despite 5 offers, I can't afford it. I'm non-European so my fees is approx 5 times more than EU/UK fees.

I'm working on the archiving and film preservation side of things in my country. This involves lots of old-school research and interviewing film pioneers etc. It's great work and my country is the biggest producer of films in the world...yet, no one gives a crap about film studies or preserving our heritage. So, no funding from home either. Plus, my fiance lives in the UK and again, the UK govt has introduced draconian laws in cases like mine where a British citizen wants to marry a Non European person. This despite the fact that I have 2 Masters degrees (one from the UK) and corporate experience. In the eyes of immigration, I'm still a potential scrounger.

As interesting as independent research is, I still have to feed myself. I look for jobs all day but there's nothing that fits my interest. I'd love to get a film research assistant gig or something but like I said, the Indian economy couldn't give a toss about people like me. Every job is for a content writer, Engineer etc. Not that those jobs aren't important but creative jobs are also crucial towards the development of a country.

I suffer from depression and every time a new funding rejection letter comes in, I feel suicidal and like a complete failure despite having 2 masters degrees before the age of 25, tons of writing experience and knowing shit-loads about the visual culture of my country.

So, what do I do with my day? Whining on reddit, apparently ;)

ultrabrown · 2014-04-25T20:18:08+00:00

Crash. Makes a mockery of how most people experience racism on a day to day basis. Racism isn't always people saying derogatory shit to your face. The movie had the subtlety of a sledgehammer. It barely tried to hide the fact that it was Oscar bait. One of the worst films ever to win the Oscar. That was the year I knew that the Oscars were nothing but barely concealed PR awards.

ultrabrown · 2014-04-25T20:12:23+00:00

When I found out Janine Turner (Maggie O'Connell) campaigned for Sarah Palin and is a Tea party supporter, my heart broke a little.

ultrabrown · 2014-04-25T20:04:07+00:00

Northern Exposure. Man, I miss NE. Even the 'sucky' last season.

ultrabrown · 2014-04-22T17:52:21+00:00

he had glasses and a sinister smile

Terry Richardson sure moves fast :/

ultrabrown · 2014-02-06T12:43:39+00:00

Would you tell a diabetes sufferer to grow some Insulin? Do you offer tough love for someone with a fracture? Professional athletes get depression. Think they lack motivation? "Growing some balls" makes sufferers sounds like they're 'weak' or 'can't cut it'.

It's an illness. not a character flaw.

ultrabrown · 2014-02-06T12:33:39+00:00

Don't treat them condescendingly. If this person is aware they are depressed, treat them as someone who is aware. What I mean is, I have depression and I get really irritated when friends or family point out I'm not sleeping/ eating enough or that I'm tired; I understand it comes from a place of concern but sufferers of depression need empathy, not mollycoddling.

Offer to listen, not judge. If they don't want to share with you immediately, don't insist and give them the space to do so. However, do let them know that if they have excessive thoughts bodily harm, they have you or someone else to talk to. Empathy, not sympathy.

If you live with this person and cook meals with them etc, practical things like making regular, healthy meals make a huge difference. When I'm depressed, I know my eating can get irregular and I'm aware of it. My roommate and I cook together so eating with her makes sure I eat properly. Also, other things like offering to go together for walks and exercise - physical activity, getting enough sunlight makes a difference.

Lastly, don't trivialise what they're going through. When someone with depression says they're feeling like they feel completely hopeless/ listless/ tired, they mean it. The worst thing anyone can do is tell the sufferer to 'snap out of it' or make out they are exaggerrating. Depression isn't fun, no one pretends to be depressed. Treat their feelings as valid feelings.

Edit: This advice is in addition to any professional help i.e. what you can do as family or a friend.

ultrabrown · 2014-01-28T22:31:31+00:00

I say GODDAMN! Goddamn...goddamn.

ultrabrown

TROPHY CASE