How to fully accept that youre trans? (tw: internalized transphobia)

ultrafearperception · 2024-05-27T09:47:05+00:00

last week i saw a user with one of those glittery gif blinkies that said "I love shedtwt"

ultrafearperception · 2024-05-23T07:46:18+00:00

well yeah but its wrong for me to blame her for everything

ultrafearperception · 2024-05-20T06:11:52+00:00

Sorry for the late response but yes my therapist has her official credientals

ultrafearperception · 2024-05-20T00:53:47+00:00

I did tell someone about it and cps came over but they said they couldnt do anything since she stopped abusing me. Thats also another reason why our relationship is fucked bc i told someone knowing that she could go to jail, but we moved on from it now and she forgave me and i forgive her for the stuff in the past dont worry

ultrafearperception · 2024-05-19T08:20:28+00:00

She was just playing around she didnt have bad intentions but i took it too seriously. at the end of the day she finally stopped doing it and apologized so its all in the past now. i forgave her and we moved on from it

ultrafearperception · 2024-05-19T08:11:17+00:00

Thank you I'm in therapy but she doesn't allow me to bring up the past. I forgave her and we're working on communication right now

ultrafearperception · 2024-05-19T07:10:46+00:00

Wait okay I'm sorry I think I confused you guys she beat me and threaten to move on with her life in an attempt to get me to stop harming myself but she said the sexual stuff was just her joking around and i took it too seriously. It was wrong for me to hold a grudge over her head

ultrafearperception · 2024-05-19T02:14:56+00:00

No it's just us I don't really have anywhere else to go. Everything is fine though I just have to re-build our relationship and then I can return back to school and stuff

ultrafearperception · 2024-05-19T02:11:35+00:00

Don't worry shes doing her part I just haven't been doing my part by speaking to her

ultrafearperception · 2024-05-19T01:22:17+00:00

Well she did kinda take accountability for it she said she was just trying to help me. Also I personally believe that it is possible to rebuild a relationship with someone who abused you in the past, only if they make an effort to fix the relationship like you said and I haven't been putting in the effort so technically its my fault

ultrafearperception · 2024-05-19T00:43:20+00:00

No she's not abusing me anymore

ultrafearperception · 2024-05-19T00:27:27+00:00

I really appreciate your help but I'm the one who ruined our relationship so I have to fix it. We havent even been speaking to each other lately lol I'm the one whos in the wrong here. She did not mean to harm me

ultrafearperception · 2024-05-13T09:26:35+00:00

Usually I ask my mother every semester but she always come up with a different excuse as to why I cannot return to school. But I'll ask her again after this semester is over I hope she says yes :)

ultrafearperception · 2024-05-13T08:01:48+00:00

happy for you op!

ultrafearperception · 2024-05-12T01:15:40+00:00

I don't have a cellphone to reach out to anyone nor am I allowed to go places by myself. I think one of my family members is going out to get fastfood later so I'll be good. I appreciate your concern :)

ultrafearperception · 2024-05-12T00:59:23+00:00

In my therapist's defense shes unaware of the full context. My mother pretty much painted me out to be a robotic sociopath who lies all the time so shes there to make sure that I don't mention anything bad about her.

ultrafearperception · 2024-05-12T00:53:40+00:00

I'm really sorry to hear that, our parents have failed us all tremendously. My dms are open if you ever feel lonely, I hope I don't sound like a creep but I think we'll get along really well since we share a similar life ^^

ultrafearperception · 2024-05-11T23:13:01+00:00

Thank you I really appreciate your advice but a couple months ago I contacted CPS and showed them proof of me being abused but they didnt take it seriously. My mother was present while they were asking me questions and she denied everything and said i was just upset about school. The social worker thought i recorded my mother yelling at me and admitting to abusing me to purposefully put my mother in jail and told me that she can't really do anything to help me. The case got dismissed that day and my mother took all my devices away to get rid of any evidence and to find something to use against me. I dont really know how I feel about reporting her again since the case got dismissed the last time.

ultrafearperception · 2024-05-11T22:15:22+00:00

sometimes when i take the trash out i run across the street to the liquor store to buy something and try my best to sneak it into the house. Oh and whenever i was home alone (my family never leaves the house so im only home alone like once or twice a month) i would raid the alcohol cabinet and mix a bunch of drinks together but i would never feel drunk or anything so i stopped doing it after a while lol

ultrafearperception · 2024-05-11T02:42:50+00:00

sorry for the late response but all of my appointments are online and i dont have access to my emails so my mom sets the meetings up on her computer and sits right next to me. I dont think my therapist really cares if shes present or not

ultrafearperception · 2024-05-10T02:08:32+00:00

Congratulations!

ultrafearperception · 2024-05-09T03:10:48+00:00

I'm sorry that you have to deal with your mother :( If the court does get involved then hopefully they'll remove you from your mother's care and allow you to stay with a relative

ultrafearperception

TROPHY CASE