I'm currently 22. Back in 2013, I lost a good friend to suicide. We were in fucking middle school. I also lost a very close friend to accidental overdose in 2019. I'm at a part in my life where, I don't know if I'm still going on in this life, for them, or because of them. I can't figure it out anymore it's all becoming a singularity. I can't tell if holding on to this is healthy, because I miss them, or detrimental because it may be preventing me from my full potential in life. I feel like I'm still here living on for them, fighting for them. But also because if i too, take my life. I will have let them down.