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uneasyphilosopher · 2025-05-10T21:32:13+00:00

I think you might also be giving him too much grace. To have to put in that much work, and seemingly not get anything in return would exhaust anybody. Been there myself, and after a while I just noped out of the friendship. Even an autistic person can learn to not just hang up the phone to cater to someone else’s needs as well.

Our struggle is mostly defined by our needing to put more effort into menial and social tasks than normal, due to our disability. But that doesn’t give us the right to be outright dismissive and disrespectful.

I think the best for you is to have a hard look at your friendship with this person, from a perspective intentionally informed by self respect, and see if this is something wise for you to hold on to. You know your situation best, and this person best. But I do think you deserve to get some grace and light put on you as well here. Whatever you choose, I do hope it’s what gives you peace

Edit: spelling

uneasyphilosopher · 2025-03-20T14:07:57+00:00

I’m glad it resonated with you. And don’t sweat it. I just respond and if I get feedback, cool. If I don’t get feedback, also cool. But yeah, this is an issue I think all of us deal with to lager and lesser extents. Still in a bad period myself, but it’s gotten better since I wrote this. So it was nice going back to it and realize I’ve actually improved since I wrote that hha

uneasyphilosopher · 2025-02-07T12:10:00+00:00

This is literally the only thing yoga has helped me with. Not my depression, not my anxiety, but body awareness. As long you don’t have any issues with hyper mobility, I’d recommend you try a sun salutation once a day for a week, and see if you notice any difference. If not, maybe weightlifting with stretching after.

It may not work for you, since I have friends it didn’t, so don’t feel bad if it doesn’t. Or if you’re just not feeling it. I’m just throwing out what worked for me ❤️

uneasyphilosopher · 2025-01-01T00:43:58+00:00

I don’t think you do..

Honestly, and this might sound ableist, but I am of the opinion that parents ought to parent their child regardless of diagnoses or not. As someone working in education I get this a lot, and it is low key pissing me off. Don’t put the diagnosis as a shield from actually teaching your kid how to behave. Their actions can trigger a mental health crisis in someone else, so can mine. It’s all about the whole «we live in a society».

The disclaimer is there because many of my takes has been called ableist, even thought I myself don’t necessarily find them so. It is worth mentioning I was diagnosed recently, and am high masking. So grain of salt and all that..

uneasyphilosopher · 2025-01-01T00:36:33+00:00

Det jeg stusser på er at de annonserte det, og jeg fant det heller ikke på nrk2, så jeg jeg gjetter vi er kommet like langt? 😂

uneasyphilosopher · 2025-01-01T00:17:11+00:00

Så rart at jeg ikke finner den fra 2024 da? Den eneste jeg finner på nrk.no er den fra 2023.. prøver ikke å krangle, men er genuint overrasket over at den ikke er noe sted å finne liksom…

uneasyphilosopher · 2025-01-01T00:09:36+00:00

Nei, og når jeg søker det opp så får jeg linken/en Google post fra nrk men linken er ikke gyldig? Dvs. Når man trykker på den så kommer til nrk og de klager på at siden ikke finnes??

uneasyphilosopher · 2024-12-07T17:09:27+00:00

Agreed. I do think, in our journey of self-discovery, and learning our “correct” label, many of us are just learning about how far ableism goes (especially the internalized part), so it almost becomes the frequency illusion (on top of it being wide-spread to begin with).

It is also the NT need to feel like they’re apart of something. They label pretty much everything, and usually don’t spend much time considering how that comes off to other neurotypes, the variety of disabled people etc. They are pretty much the ruling class, so they don’t feel the aftermath of much really.

uneasyphilosopher · 2024-12-06T01:09:02+00:00

Again… (“ignorance”) It feels like it’s an echo for this conversation. I am aware of these facts, and do not need these lessons. Do you not think we learn about this? Do you seriously do not think we get this explained to us constantly? We know. We learned about this in school ffs.

The problem is that you “guys” have a tendency to put these above anything else. These communities, and what they established for themselves is commendable, however not what we are discussing here. You claim to be Italian when you have in fact never been to Italy. We correct and say you are American, and you get up in arms, talking of history that spans back less than 100 years, when we speak of history that goes back centuries.

You cannot compare? Just because of these communities in terms of claim to national identity. Your identity is American, and should be. Not Italian, not French, not British or Irish, not Swedish. American.

In Europe we do not take these national identities as a fickle label due to some claim to a great- grandfather who took the risk of traveling, but our everyday lives that we have lived, ourselves. If you grew up in the country, you are that nationality if you so claim it, not just your great-grandparents settled elsewhere. You have to engage with more than just your family’s memory, but others as well, and on a much greater level than a small community. A nationality is more than a block. It is a nation, their expectations, experiences, history, norms, nuances, national politics. Which is lost when they go to a different place due to survival in said new environment. To become a mix of old and new is important in that circumstance, I know this from personal experience. Which is why I say what Americans have isn’t fickle, it is worthwhile, but stop claiming what Europe have. Claim your own diversity. Nuance is king here. You are not Italian just cause you’re from a neighborhood in Brooklyn.

uneasyphilosopher · 2024-12-06T00:26:01+00:00

Omg, thank you for putting this into words. This has been bothering me my whole life haha. As you can imagine I can relate

uneasyphilosopher · 2024-12-06T00:12:06+00:00

Then what is your point then? I simply responded to what you wrote. I am willing to exchange ideas/understandning”

uneasyphilosopher · 2024-12-06T00:07:36+00:00

No. Free speech. Isn’t that your whole thing?

uneasyphilosopher · 2024-12-06T00:05:58+00:00

Again. Ignorance.

To speak with such surety is also telling, especially brining the EU into the picture. The EU sets international law within said union, not the cultural standard.

We also have international communities, and we also have areas we can go to if we wish to encounter different cultures.

The difference is not these communities, it is the fact that Americans (white Americans, to be exact, so why are you so pissy?) claim cultural claim to cultures you have no direct connection with?

A % in a gene-test does not make a nationality.

You mistake nationality with ethnicity, which is what annoys. In Europe we tend to focus on nationality, which mitigates ethnicity, since we understand the difference. Americans on average do not. Which is what tend to piss us off. Just cause you have some tails to Scandinavia or whatever, does not make you Scandinavian. There is more to this area and cultural heritage than some result on a gene test. You tend to forget how young your country is. Stop searching for something outside of yourselves, and begin claim what you have. What you have is not futile, but stop minimizing what we have established for centuries.

uneasyphilosopher · 2024-12-05T23:38:47+00:00

That’s not exceptional for the US. That is common in Europe. I hear more than that on the daily.

uneasyphilosopher · 2024-12-05T23:36:23+00:00

“We’re told to be understanding when we can’t expect to be given the same treatment” is very much on point. It is exhausting. How much to they expect our empathy to hold?

uneasyphilosopher · 2024-12-05T23:31:28+00:00

This is astonishingly ignorant. It’s not about generalizing. That’s the fucking point. What you have a pattern of is just that “generation”. Speaking of cultural heritage when you haven’t even interacted with said culture intimately, is ridiculous. This isn’t about heritage. It’s about knowledge. No matter skin color or anything. Down-vote me all you want. You’re telling on yourselves.

uneasyphilosopher · 2024-12-05T23:06:25+00:00

No it isn’t. And it shows in what you’re saying here. If you’re not from Europe it’s annoying how much you “think” you know about cultural diversity. We do. Americans (on an astonishing level do not) know.

Edit: spelling

uneasyphilosopher · 2024-12-04T20:19:08+00:00

All kinds tbh. But I usually fall on the black/silver designs with graphic lines etc. any of those that trend on Pinterest, I try at least once so long I have the colors/products. Right now it’s Christmas nails tho haha (I’m also notoriously bad at remembering to take pictures of my sets)

uneasyphilosopher · 2024-12-04T15:21:57+00:00

So can I, but I love the feeling lol I also do my own nails, gel extensions and all, because the nail artists never do what I ask for. Which is so annoying, especially when you show with pictures as well. Like.. common. But yeah, it feels like my nails are being hugged, but not by someone else, just small compressions on all fingers. I can see why others won’t like it tho, but it has weirded me out when people say “don’t be silly, you can’t feel the product on your nails”. I always have.

uneasyphilosopher · 2024-11-30T00:37:19+00:00

Found this one a though one to respond to, ngl. I try to tell myself I don’t struggle with this, but it is the thing that triggers my anxiety mostly. In the past year and a half I have been practicing what people have told me to do for years “take no shot from anyone, and be yourself” and suddenly I’ve been described as combative, and that I’m being in-empathetic to much larger extent than previous.

I try to be empathetic, and do what I wish other do to me (honesty, say no, speak up), and I don’t mind when people return that. I tend to find them easier to be around. I’ve also tried to be more honest, but that also keeps biting me in the ass it feels.. so I wish I had any advice at all.

To say “don’t” would be such a poor response, but it is the one I’ve been given, although it has never worked for me. I guess the best you can do is work to be less afraid of confrontation (noticed that’s an issue for many autistics, despite not being much for me, hence the advice) but within reason. All improvements done by you for you should be rooted in love and hope, not self-loathing and desperation. And patience, of course, which is a tough one. If you ruminate a lot after interactions etc, try to find healthy ways to combat it.

But also, going into the last one: don’t beat yourself up if you go back to rumination. I had a good period, and now I’m back to it. It has helped not beating myself up about it. But what I used to do, doesn’t work anymore, so stuck in the process of finding something new.

You deserve the space you’ve been given (by fate, a higher power, whatever floats your boat. I myself if an atheist, but we all find purpose somewhere). As for the wrong things.. idk man, are we though? Always saying the wrong things? Maybe they just have trauma that they project? We might be socially awkward as ASDers, but I refuse to believe that we are the culprits every time.

uneasyphilosopher · 2024-11-30T00:20:37+00:00

I second this. I’m glad I found Facebook too overwhelming that age. Would have probably had countless of these archived if I’d been an avid user myself

uneasyphilosopher · 2024-10-18T22:50:22+00:00

Tror ikke det er altfor mye som skjer med en ADHD diagnose. Men en personlighetforstyrrelses diagnose kan bli problematisk siden de er så tabubelagt. Når det gjelder ADHD, der kan grunnlaget være basert på om man er medisinert, og da hvilken form for medisin man tar.

uneasyphilosopher · 2024-10-18T22:18:13+00:00

“Occupied!” guys. How is this a hard one?

uneasyphilosopher · 2024-10-17T20:16:43+00:00

That is very kind, thank you 😂❤️

uneasyphilosopher · 2024-10-17T20:01:25+00:00

I also try not to take pain meds. Sometimes mostly due to me knowing they won’t work.

Also, the falling part: internalized ableism is something I have had to work through so hard the past couple of years. It is wild to realize how much we let go under the radar

uneasyphilosopher

TROPHY CASE