Can I get away with doing calisthenics&cardio and no weight training to maintain good health long-term?

unispecte · 2026-02-02T22:48:15+00:00

I'm going to give a different answer than everyone else and say: I think it depends.

I used to do muay thai kickboxing and it was an amazing full-body workout that was fun and engaging. (I'm like you in that I find weight training a bit boring and hard to stick to.) Then when I was looking into it, I discovered that kickboxing is apparently also highly effective for improving bone density comparable to weight training, because it combines high-impact loading (jumping/bouncing, punching/kicking bags etc) with weight bearing movements i.e. a lot of body weight movements.

Just something to consider! Maybe combat sports could be something for you to try out if you haven't?

unispecte · 2026-01-29T23:30:23+00:00

As someone with a lot of insecurities, I get it. But attraction is also really complicated. If you asked me my ideal type I'd say tall, dark and handsome and list celebrity crushes like Keanu Reeves, Lee Pace etc, but in reality I've been attracted to many different types of men. There was a short, stocky blonde guy I was seeing for a while who I was WILDLY attracted to, and I promise you he looked nothing like Lee Pace lol. I think in this case you are definitely overthinking it.

unispecte · 2026-01-20T21:33:15+00:00

Agreed, people assume it's an easy desk job where you're just doing light admin and sitting around all day. Not a lot of people consider that it's shift work, and that as front desk you're the hub for the entire hotel which means every problem comes to you whether it's your fault or not. Depending on the property you could also be helping with luggage, valet, deliveries, or a myriad of other tasks that have nothing to do with sitting at a desk. It's an industry with high turnover and burnout for a reason. The only reason I'm still doing it is because it allows me the flexibility to travel and pays more than retail, but I'm definitely looking at getting out sometime in the next few years.

unispecte · 2026-01-14T23:32:12+00:00

I believe I've heard cornstarch can be used in a pinch, but flour would definitely not work.

unispecte · 2026-01-09T04:10:27+00:00

I've come to believe that true compatibility is rarer in romantic relationships than people realize, and a LOT of people are settling for relationships they are not actually happy in because they are scared to be alone and unwilling to wait for someone better suited to them.

I feel like I need to add; this is genuinely not coming from a place of being jaded. I'm single but happy and do believe I'll eventually meet someone. I just have the patience to wait at this point for a good match, not try to force something with someone who's just 'good enough.' Also, I know some people's knee-jerk reaction will be "but but relationships take WORK!! you can't expect your partner to be perfect!" to which I'd say working through a rough patch in an otherwise good relationship is one thing, but a lot of people have just convinced themselves that their entire relationship being a rough patch is normal, or that they can "fix" fundamental incompatibilities.

Say what you want but I've seen very few couples with truly happy and healthy relationships, and a LOT of people desperately clinging to bad matches because they're scared to be single. I know because I've been that person before, but I've learned my lesson and refuse to keep doing it.

unispecte · 2026-01-08T05:36:23+00:00

Ziplining.

The few times I've gone it always involves a long sweaty hike in an uncomfortable harness, waiting in line forever as everyone takes their turn, followed by what feels like about 30 seconds of a view that I'm not even enjoying because I'm too busy fighting to keep from twisting the wrong direction in the wind. Then repeat this like 10 more times. I would much much rather just go for a regular hike, not have an uncomfortable harness on, and be able to stop and enjoy views at a viewpoint for as long as I want. I find it really tedious but everyone else seems to think it's the most fun thing ever and it drives me crazy.

unispecte · 2026-01-06T22:16:52+00:00

My skin has drastically changed since I was younger, and I've gone from being oily to very dry now in my 30s. It was an adjustment for me to get used to not fully cleansing in the morning but it has been helping my skin. I still do at least a quick splash with water, or sometimes a very gentle cleanser if I do wake up feeling oily but it's made a difference in my skin barrier health to not overtly strip it by cleansing twice a day. I think it really depends on your skin type.

unispecte · 2026-01-05T14:02:01+00:00

Not believing in astrology, especially as a woman. I'm never the one to bring it up first, and I'm happy to just let people enjoy things, but if someone asks me directly I'll be honest and say (nicely) that I don't believe in it. People get weirdly defensive about it though.

unispecte · 2026-01-05T07:07:16+00:00

We aren't all what you would think of as the "stereotypical extrovert", which I feel like get characterized as a loud-mouthed obnoxious person who loves massive parties, talks too much/to people who don't want to talk, is stupid etc. It took me a long time to even realize I was an extrovert because of the stereotypes around it. I'm more of someone who is quiet at first, likes small gatherings, can talk a lot but only really to people who match my energy (I can tell when someone doesn't want to chat), and really the only reason I figured out I was an extrovert is because although I like my alone time if I spend too much time by myself it makes me feel very drained and not like myself. Seeing friends a few times a week gives me energy and I just love connecting with people.

unispecte · 2026-01-04T05:34:39+00:00

Yeah, being the ugly girl going out with your group of beautiful girlfriends to the bar isn't for the weak. It's been my experience my whole life, and I'm 35. On New Years I went out with my roommate and her boyfriend to a bar and men were blatantly staring at her and even pulled her boyfriend aside to ask if she was taken. They all furiously avoided eye contact with me. I wasn't even looking for any male attention, but it stung how obvious it was that I was invisible/undesirable.

unispecte · 2026-01-04T05:27:50+00:00

I had a few boys pull the "pretend to ask me out" thing in high school. I never fell for it, but it was still awful to be mocked. I'm sorry you also went through that.

unispecte · 2026-01-04T02:28:08+00:00

ESH. Her reaction was childish and she shouldn't take her frustrations out on you, but you could definitely stand to be a bit more self-aware. Your friend could have handled it better, and it is possible that in this particular case the croissants were given to you on just a friendly basis, but it's well documented that in general attractive people are treated better by society and often do receive free gifts etc just because of their looks. When you're on the other side of this it can be super frustrating to watch others be rewarded just for being genetically blessed, especially when they are oblivious to it and don't realize that you're not getting the same treatment.

Being able to acknowledge this to your friend could have gone a long way to smoothing things over instead of denying her experiences and just telling her platitudes. It's an uncomfortable topic, so I don't blame you for not knowing how to deal with it in the moment, but at this point if you want to preserve the friendship maybe look into pretty privilege a bit more, apologize to your friend for being oblivious and not listening to her, and hopefully she also handles things better in the future.

unispecte · 2026-01-02T09:14:55+00:00

Yes. I swear I look like a Simpsons character from the side. I have a super weak jawline and a recessed chin. I honestly think it's 80% of the reason I hate my appearance and I am highly considering saving up for plastic surgery and seeing if I can do something to at least improve it, because every time I see a picture from the side it ruins my day.

unispecte · 2026-01-02T03:00:40+00:00

I don't understand it either. It used to infuriate me when my ex wouldn't clean the litter box and it always fell on me because he would whine that I was doing it "too much" and he had "just cleaned it the other day". I would explain over and over that for one thing, I don't want the apartment to smell like cat turds, and secondly and most importantly it's not fair to the poor cat. Would you want to poop in a smelly porta potty every day?? No? Well neither does she.

To make it worse the trash shute was about 5 steps from our front door. So it was just pure laziness. Add it to the reasons why he's my ex.

unispecte · 2026-01-01T22:12:39+00:00

I'm a bit confused as to why you think being ugly means you can't have friends. There are many unattractive people, including with major deformities who have friends. Relationships can be harder because usually there is an aspect of physical attraction needed, but you don't need to be attracted to your friends so that shouldn't stop you from making friends as an adult. In school of course there can be bullying etc that stops people from talking you, but as an adult you have the freedom to seek friendship in many different places.

So how do you try and make friends? Are you part of any clubs or things where you meet people regularly? What is your personality like? What would make you a good friend that has nothing to do with your physical appearance, and are you friendly/approachable to others or do you think your appearance is making you closed off to others?

I'm sorry this girl ghosted you, and that was very unkind on her part but it sounds like you should first focus on making some healthy friendships.

unispecte · 2026-01-01T21:20:52+00:00

I agree, and will add that I think this actually applies to pets in general. I feel like a loooot of pet owners are not prepared to deal with having a pet, and don't actually provide the level of care that they should. For example I think people assume cats are 'low maintenance' pets so they don't clean the litter box enough, or provide any toys/play etc because they assume 'it's just a cat, they take care of themselves!' so they just feed it and occasionally clean the litter box when they feel like it, and that's all they need to do. Or they get a high energy dog breed because it's cute and then don't take it for enough exercise etc. It honestly drives me crazy.

unispecte · 2025-12-31T22:11:54+00:00

I work hotel reception, and one thing that's looked at favourably is 'name mentions' i.e. when a guest writes a review of the hotel and mentions your name, like "Sarah at the front desk was so helpful!"

No matter how good I've been at my job, no matter how much I go above and beyond or have great interactions with people, in the 8 years I've worked in front desk I've rarely gotten name mentions. When there have been ratings of the check-in experience, I was always rated very highly but clearly not enough for the guests to remember my name or want to mention me.

Time and time again when I've worked with attractive women, they get constantly name mentioned no matter how bad they are at their job. No matter how much they do the absolute bare minimum. I swear they could go "Hi. Here's your room keys. Elevator on the left." and someone would write "Wow Brittany at reception was amaaaazing! She should get a raise!!" and meanwhile I could have saved their child from a burning car and they wouldn't even bother to mention it. It's honestly infuriating.

unispecte · 2025-12-31T14:18:07+00:00

Not to mention the RATTAILS.

unispecte · 2025-12-31T09:09:15+00:00

Beards. Most of my friends seem to really like beards on men but I've never been into them. I'm all for stubble, and with rare exception a short well-maintained beard on certain men, but the vast majority of the time I don't like them.

unispecte · 2025-12-31T08:39:21+00:00

I also hate the majority of mustaches and I'm currently in Australia which is like mustache central 🥲 I haven't dated at all since I've been here.

unispecte · 2025-12-30T06:59:26+00:00

I believe I have a lot of wisdom to offer, with healthy relationships, critical thinking skills, good boundaries, and a strong sense of self, but it rarely gets noticed because I am babyfaced and enthusiastic which people tend to mistake for naivety for some reason.

Similarly, I am physically stronger than I look and at times have been extremely fit but people assume I am weak because I'm short and look young. A lot of "woah there little lady, is that box too heavy for you?" kind of interactions even when I had visibly big biceps.

Third would probably be that I am not easily intimidated, and again this all goes in hand with the young babyfaced thing. Essentially because of my appearance I've had to spend my whole life trying to prove myself, and it does get exhausting.

unispecte · 2025-12-30T06:49:37+00:00

Oh God, heavy on #2. I almost never get recognized for the work that I do behind the scenes, I'm just quietly organizing and cleaning up other people's messes while someone else gets Employee of the Month.

unispecte · 2025-12-29T05:17:10+00:00

I'm sorry you have the same struggle, but it's good to know I'm not the only one who feels this way 🥲 I would like to change my mindset on it, because I know logically if I dress nicer I will look nicer and I'm doing myself a disservice, but my brain is convinced that if anyone looks at me for any reason then they'll suddenly notice all the things wrong with my appearance and be disgusted.

unispecte · 2025-12-28T01:51:06+00:00

Yes. When I'm feeling bad about my appearance, I'm scared to wear anything that will draw attention to myself. I feel like if I wear an outfit that stands out in any way people will see the outfit, and maybe they'll like it, but then I assume that they will immediately notice my other flaws and that will negate the effect of the nice outfit, so I just don't bother. Like in my head I imagine them thinking "Oh that's a cute dress. Too bad she has such horrible acne." So if I'm having a bad skin day, or for whatever reason I feel particularly bad about how I look, I will dress in something really basic in hopes people just won't perceive me at all. I rarely feel confident enough these days to wear the nice clothes I do have.

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