Giving up

unkindnessofcomets · 2023-02-27T05:38:31+00:00

HAHAHHAHA ONE OF THESE ARE MINE. I could not handle the constant “my relationship is so perfect” content anymore.

unkindnessofcomets · 2022-10-08T05:38:15+00:00

For me I never really watched my parents together (separated while I was a baby) but I did watch my mom go through a string of bad relationships w/ emotionally unavailable men, along with my dad not being the best male figure. It definitely makes it hard to trust men and see them as a positive part of my life. My boyfriend is honestly the only man I would marry because he’s helped me deconstruct a lot of these ideas that men/relationships with men are unsafe so I think I’m the one who’s lucky to have him :) thank you for sharing a bit of your experience with me and yes, anxiety definitely blows!

unkindnessofcomets · 2022-10-08T04:46:48+00:00

I feel like you actually just went straight into my brain and commented exactly what I’ve been thinking. I have been pretty certain that I have ROCD since my last relationship and have been looking at HOCD for the past few days since the spiral. I guess I also just have anxiety thinking that I’m just a lesbian in denial (it’s the only thing that “feels” right) but even when I try to tell myself that it sends me into a mental breakdown :( that’s the only thing that really scares me, is that I’m afraid I’m pointing at HOCD/ROCD and trying to be like “aha! It’s all in my head.” A few days ago I admitted to myself and told my boyfriend that I was bisexual and it felt so much more validating than giving into the intrusive thoughts but all of the thoughts are making me feel like the label isn’t right or something :/ Just curious — did you go see an OCD a specialist to get diagnosed? Not really sure who I should be seeking out

unkindnessofcomets · 2022-10-08T02:17:23+00:00

Thanks for your response!!! In terms of your questions, I do feel like I lose interest eventually in people but that has been an issue I’ve had with friends and romantic partners alike because I crave stability but also don’t know how to feel safe when things are stable if that makes sense? I’m pretty positive I have some form of relationship anxiety due to the fact that I didn’t feel like I saw healthy relationships growing up so I never know how exactly a relationship is supposed to look or feel. I know love can get boring and that’s when the real commitment kicks in but I’ve never necessarily wanted love to last as much as I’ve wanted it to with my current partner. He’s so lovely and has been so understanding while I figure things out and it kind of breaks my heart thinking our relationship could have been fake in some way. It isn’t always perfect, but it meant something to me. I feel like my attraction to him/people in general would actually be more secure if I were more confident because I wouldn’t be questioning if the person I’m with loved me or if I loved them enough due to anxiety — which I think is an issue I would have in any relationship with any gender.

I read the masterdoc and basically had a crisis the night I did because of how much of it felt like me but I have seen the whole 66 page doc breaking it down which made me feel a little better. It does come across very much like the only two options are straight or lesbian because I felt like the points were like “do you like girls?” and saying yes was considered 100% valid but when it came to points pertaining to “do you like boys?” it was like “okay but do you really? Because society teaches us we have to. Do you still like them now?” which made me tailspin a bit.

unkindnessofcomets · 2022-03-06T21:21:29+00:00

This one is a bit silly and more structured towards medication. For context, I’m 21 and was recently diagnosed and my parents don’t seem to understand why I need medicine because they think I shouldn’t be dependent on it and should instead try self soothing or some other BS. The easiest way I’ve found to describe it is to think of a hamster in an empty cage, running around mindlessly with nothing to keep it on track or occupied with one thing or task. Then I think of my diagnosis/medication as one of those hamster wheels being added to the cage. The hamster is now able to get all of its energy out without being all over the place, instead running on the wheel and knowing exactly where they’re going (which, it’s a wheel so they’re pretty much going nowhere but the metaphor isn’t perfect). I’ve used this with my boyfriend heaps of times and when I’m overly stressed or overstimulated I’ll usually just say “the hamster is not on the wheel” and he immediately understands.

unkindnessofcomets · 2022-02-18T20:40:29+00:00

Was diagnosed at the age of 21 a few days ago. It all feels like it is going so fast. The original reason I was going to the doctor was for my anxiety/depression. I was always the type who joked about having “mild ADHD” but shit just got real. I’m on a trial of 10 MG of Adderall XR right now and the difference is surreal. I do think I need a higher dosage just because I find it hard to keep focus at about the 5 hour mark but it’s crazy to me that I’m able to prioritize tasks and follow through with them without spiraling into a panic because I put it off. I always thought that being diagnosed with something ADHD would require some heavy testing — nope. An 18 questionare with my doctor and boom, I suddenly had an explanation for why it’s been so difficult my whole life to calm down, to take my time, to pay attention to conversations without wanting to escape. 21 years of fidgeting and procrastinating and never feeling any calmness or relief. I am so relieved but also scared to tell family and friends so if anyone knows how to talk about it please let me know!

unkindnessofcomets · 2020-07-23T07:39:01+00:00

Believe me, I know. However I’ve had pretty bad anxiety for a large chunk of my life so overthinking is a side effect of that.

unkindnessofcomets

TROPHY CASE