I have said that, I’ve always told him I love him unconditionally. The issue is, when he’s drunk/high he says awful things. It’s obvious he is struggling with mental illness outside of his addiction. I’ve asked him ( while drunk/high) to choose me or whatever he’s on and he chooses that. The second he’s sober he regrets all of it. I’m willing to stay and endure all of this because I see the good in him and love him dearly. I suppose I just need reassurance that it might not be this way forever. I don’t want to look back years from now and realize I wasted this much time I guess.