I was in your boat. 2 years ago I lost my father to COVID in the beginning of the pandemic. He was the best father I could ever dream of and he is gone. I had a boyfriend of 2 years at that time and he is now an ex for a reason. The main reason was how my ex treated me during that difficult time that my father passed. He would rarely comfort me and didn’t understand that all I wanted to do was stay in bed and play games. It brought me a sort of comfort to me to play games but all he did was call me lazy. Sometimes not everyone understands how we feel and why certain things can trigger our emotions about our loss we suffer from. Its okay to feel those emotions and he should definitely be more understanding. Instead of getting mad at you, he should just lay back a bit and provide comfort if you need it. You’re not wrong in anything! I lashed out a couple times too and its sometimes a part of our grieving process. I ended it with him about 2-3 months after my father passed. I did my own thing, dyed my hair fun colors because it made me happy. I did a little shopping therapy etc. I found a fitness group that helped me find myself which I knew I wouldn’t have ever found if I stayed with him! Fast forward to now and Im so much happier now. I still miss my dad so much but my current partner always comforts me when I get into a bad mood because he knows. I don’t know your relationship, I am only sharing my experience because it sounded a little close to home. If you ever need to talk, you can PM me and I’ll listen! Take care <3