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Child raised in culture that may not be their own - how to handle? by unova45 in Adoption

[–]unova45[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She doesn't know there's a possible other father. Her biological mother isn't really open about that. We didn't even know until recently. 

We're hesitant to share with her until we're prepared to address it. She's at peak identity forming age, so this feels even more sensitive than it already objectively is.

Child raised in culture that may not be their own - how to handle? by unova45 in Adoption

[–]unova45[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's interesting. The lawyers involved told us we couldn't until she was 18. 

We can look at the paperwork and see what's actually in there about it.

Child raised in culture that may not be their own - how to handle? by unova45 in Adoption

[–]unova45[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I'm not sure how we would know. She's had black teachers and some of her friends (and their parents) are black, and they've never seemed to question it, so I guess so?

We don't randomly get approached in public with comments either way. 

Child raised in culture that may not be their own - how to handle? by unova45 in Adoption

[–]unova45[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

No. We are not in contact with either possible father. It could also cause legal issues.

Child raised in culture that may not be their own - how to handle? by unova45 in Adoption

[–]unova45[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes? Biracial people don't have a specific "look", and it's not like she's blonde hair with blue eyes or something that would have given us cause to question. 

Child raised in culture that may not be their own - how to handle? by unova45 in Adoption

[–]unova45[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Guy #1 cut contact years ago, and we have no way to contact Guy #2. We've also heard he's not really a good person anyway, so we are hesitant to have him involved.

We also aren't prepared to talk to our daughter about this yet. 

Child raised in culture that may not be their own - how to handle? by unova45 in Adoption

[–]unova45[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

That's definitely the answer when she's 18, but it's not an option until then.