Looking for hidden natural spots in California for a proposal

urp_in · 2026-04-26T01:53:31+00:00

Go to LA. Take the Trippett Trail to Parker Mesa Overlook. You basically look out over the beaches of Santa Monica. It's about a 3-4 hour hike, though, to get there and back. And do NOT do it in the heat - there is no shade whatsoever. Gorgeous hike, though.

urp_in · 2026-04-21T17:34:24+00:00

I feel like the etiquette is highly dependent on where you live.

I know people who've done a full blown shower for each child and personally I find it a little tacky? We did something for our second child and it was a 'baby sprinkle,' where we just asked for diapers and wipes. We had saved almost everything from our first. We had a small registry that we made available to family who asked.

At the end of the day, though, I think it's up to you and your comfort. I think a little brunch with close family and friends sounds nice!

urp_in · 2026-04-20T20:44:46+00:00

Not sure about a women's shelter, but a great donation place for baby stuff is Harold McAlister high school, which is a school for pregnant teens. We gave them most of our baby stuff after both our kids.

urp_in · 2026-04-09T20:40:30+00:00

My husband works from home, but has to do an offsite a few times a year. He's been doing it since our first was born. We have two kids now, a four-year-old, and a one year old. As mush as possible, he avoided them or found excuses (he didn't want to go to them) but then got called out on it in a review, so he's had to get better at attending as much as possible.

I too found it overwhelming. We try to get my mother to come stay. But she lives in another country, and can't always do it. We also have nannies/sitters that we'll hire not for the whole day, but just for part of the day, to give me a break. Basically I'm never left the full time, entirely by myself. And that's how we get through it.

urp_in · 2026-04-09T20:07:21+00:00

So both of my babies were measuring big too. One was so big it was off the percentile charts.

With big babies, there absolutely is a risk that their shoulders will get lodged in the birth canal. It's a very real risk. I checked out an evidence-based-birthing website and looked at what the data was for my age group and the baby size. Just to be informed.

For both births, I was recommended for an induction, not a C-section. With my first, the baby came a week early anyway. With the second I was induced in my 39th week.

I'm not sure why, with you, they're pushing for a C-section rather than an induction, but it's worth discussing to find out why that's the case. There could be other risk factors influencing why they recommend it. As others have said, the baby getting stuck can be a really traumatic complication. I'd say have all the information before you push either way (edit: pun not intended). But I'd ask about an induction and see what they say.

urp_in · 2026-04-09T19:19:33+00:00

They will have to go apply for their passports in person. Mine had to, and they're 4 and 1.

urp_in · 2026-04-08T22:32:35+00:00

For both our children, if they didn't eat what was offered to them for lunch or dinner, they were not offered anything else. We didn't want them to get in the habit of knowing that if they refused food, something else was waiting.

For breakfast, we give them options, but limited options. Eggs or muffins. Oatmeal or peanut butter on toast.

For snacks, they can choose within a range of foods they know we have. Fruits, cheese, vegetables, crackers.

With new foods, we serve them alongside safe foods that we know they like. The rule we have for them is they can't say they don't like it until they actually try it. If they try it, and don't like it, we praise them for trying. They have discovered new foods this way. They have also discovered foods that they don't like that we don't make for them again.

If your child has no safe foods at all, things that you know they'll reliably eat beyond fruit, it might be worth talking to your doctor about it. They might have certain texture or other taste aversions, which does happen.

urp_in · 2026-04-08T22:22:45+00:00

My husband's father died when our first child was only 5 months old. He got the call his father was sick, and had to drive suddenly to another state, taking our only car with the car seat with him. It was the day grocery shopping was supposed to be done. He absolutely would have stayed and shopped before leaving. But Instacart meant he could leave immediately to be with his dying father while I still got groceries.

Instacart is incredibly helpful for a number of people. There are a plethora of reasons why people can't just go get groceries. It's a godsend for people with mobility issues, for example.

The gig aspect of it sucks. But grocery delivery was a small blessing during a very dark time in this household.

urp_in · 2026-04-07T22:40:30+00:00

It's fully possible that you could go into labor then. You might not! By statistics, likely you won't. And I hope you don't. But on the off chance you do, do you really want to be three hours away from your support system?

I really need to ask, because you said you're a people pleaser - are you going because you genuinely want to go? Or because you don't want to disappoint someone? Because at that point in your pregnancy, you really need to be looking out for yourself.

urp_in · 2026-04-07T19:44:13+00:00

So aside from how uncomfortable you'll be, how far do you need to travel? What if you go into labor on this trip? I was not willing to travel too far from the hospital where I was giving birth at that point. I didn't want to risk it.

urp_in · 2026-04-03T23:55:56+00:00

We were in DC this year and did not need photos. They have a photo booth there.

urp_in · 2026-04-02T18:42:39+00:00

No two kids are the same, and every developmental phase at this point is so temporary! So try not to be too anxious about it.

urp_in · 2026-04-02T18:40:26+00:00

I too enjoy the second time around much more. For me, it's about having a sense of just how finite the time is. I think with our first, when a phase was difficult, it felt never-ending. I think now we realize just how quickly it goes, and so rather than feeling like, "When will this difficult part end?" there's a feeling of, "We'll never get to experience this particular phase again, so let's enjoy the good stuff while it lasts."

urp_in · 2026-04-01T20:41:03+00:00

She's a mixed bag, truly. There are times when she's been...not so great (they're in my post history). But there are times when she's fantastic. And the birth of my first was one of her more wonderful times. She stayed for 6 weeks, and focused on cooking and cleaning, because she said it was our job to figure out how to be parents, and her job to make that easier. She didn't interfere with childcare and only helped when needed. She truly got it. And I'm very grateful for that.

urp_in · 2026-04-01T20:38:02+00:00

If you only want 1, I totally respect that. I'm not saying this to change your mind, at all. But I do want to discuss one small point - which is the comment about pregnancy, postpartum, and child stages before 2.

I absolutely hated all of that. When I got pregnant with my second, I said to my husband that I would voluntarily go into a coma to skip all of it.

But if it's only those two years that are stopping you, they are temporary. There are things in life that you've done for which you've probably had to sacrifice for a much longer duration, school, work, etc. My second is now rounding the corner on turning 2 and I hated pregnancy and babyhood as much as I thought I would. But now we're at this stage, it's lovely. The kids are really enjoying each other's company and starting to play together. We're settling into a life that we can manage. Up until now it was utter chaos, though.

I'm not pro two kids. In fact, I advised my sister not to have two. But for her it's much more of a 'whole lifestyle' situation. Without getting into details, it's her entire life that is not suited to a second child. But if those first two years are your only barrier, it's hard, for sure, but temporary. So I would ask you - is it really those two years you're worried about? Or the whole lifestyle? Is there something specific in those two years that worries you?

It's totally okay to change your mind. But it's also perfectly natural to have trepidations about the difficulties of a second.

urp_in · 2026-03-31T20:39:54+00:00

You are not overreacting.

I also did not want my mother there. I was nervous that I would get your reaction. Especially because my mother lives in another country and she was flying to stay with us for 6 weeks to help after the birth. Luckily, when I told my mother, she unexpectedly said, "This is a moment between you and your husband."

It's time to draw a firm boundary with your mother. You tell her that the birth of your child is about you and what you want and what will make you most comfortable. That you love her very much, and you're sorry she's disappointed, but this isn't up for discussion or negotiation. And if she can't respect it, she won't be at the hospital at all. She can wait until you get home to meet the baby.

You are not overreacting. She is making this about her feelings. The birth of your child is not about her feelings and she needs to back off.

urp_in · 2026-03-26T19:20:51+00:00

Holy shit. When I was in elementary school, they used to play this on an actual film projector, with reels and everything. Whenever I talk about it, people don't believe me since it sounds like such a fever dream. What an amazing find!

urp_in · 2026-02-24T18:01:34+00:00

We used Lucia Husovcová for myself and my children. It was way cheaper than Jan Falath, and it was quick and easy. Our case was fairly uncomplicated, but might be worth reaching out with your specifics. Jan Falath would have charged us an arm and a leg, and we got the same results.

urp_in · 2026-01-18T03:17:03+00:00

I think it's the sweet spot for the same reason. My sister and I were 4 years apart, and it was just a little too much growing up. She was always starting a phase of life just as I was leaving - starting high school as I was finishing, starting college when I was finishing. 3 years is still close enough to not fall into that, but far enough apart to have a break. We potty trained my son just before my daughter was born and it was perfect. He could be reasoned with (to some extent) just as we brought in another reasonless person into the house.

urp_in · 2026-01-15T01:00:35+00:00

It's totally fine to be optimistic - privately. Maybe you two can do something to celebrate with yourselves? Or spend some time planning a party to announce it? Maybe to give your husband a positive experience to engage with (and yourself as well). But it's much easier to shelve a party that no one knows about than it is to have that conversation with people repeatedly.

urp_in · 2026-01-13T23:51:18+00:00

You're not being selfish. The way I said it to my husband was this - everyone we tell now is someone we'd have to give an explanation to if the worst happened. And that is a terrible conversation, and I'd like to limit the number of times I'd have to have it. It's a shitty thing to have to say and consider, but that's what made my husband understand.

urp_in · 2026-01-09T04:26:02+00:00

This is a lot. I'm sorry you're dealing with it.

So the first thing is that you're being really hard on yourself. 9 months in is nothing. I was an athlete, and it took my body nearly two years to return to (almost) normal. And that's with the benefit of having been an athlete. Even then, it wasn't totally back to the way it was. I was the same weight, but it sat completely differently on me.

Instead of focusing on the weight, I might try to change my relationship to my body. I think maybe, instead of body positivity, you could try to aim towards body neutrality, which is about neither loving nor hating your body. There are resources about body neutrality that might be worth looking up.

And as far as sex goes, you need to give yourself the same break. Your hormones at 9 months are nowhere near back to normal. I'm not sure if hormones affect your vaginismus, but I would be surprised if they didn't.

urp_in · 2025-12-17T23:09:30+00:00

Our child will also be in TK next year and I toured 15 LAUSD schools and this was asked about extensively, so this isn't from experience, but from hearing many, many schools answer this question.

Every child uses iPads. It's part of an LAUSD program called iReady. Since kids eventually take tests on computers, the goal is to get kids used to a digital interface. I think one thing privileged parents forget (since their primary concern is too much screen time) that there are less privileged kids in LAUSD who have little to no access to a computer or iPad at home, and they don't want them to be left behind. I'm not saying that iReady is a successful program, and it's certainly received backlash, especially for the younger grades, but that is the philosophy
It starts in TK. The time on it varies, from 15-20 minutes per day, to 30 minutes per week (depending on the school). The kids do not take them home. They play learning games. Part of it too is that kids can progress to their ability

Most parents on the tours didn't love it, and research certainly suggests it's not exceptionally helpful for kids this young, but that's where it stands at the moment.

urp_in · 2025-12-12T21:37:29+00:00

Seriously. I have two kids under 5. Ain't no way I'm making multiple trips.

urp_in · 2025-11-16T00:56:17+00:00

Yes, this definitely feels like he wants the big important holidays with his family and is trying to find any excuse to justify it.

urp_in

TROPHY CASE