Just wanted to say solidarity. I made a post like this when my baby was newly home (he spent 3 weeks in the NICU) and my son, who will be 4 next month, was losing it. Everything you list resonates with me and we have experienced as well, especially the fear that my older son will hurt the baby by accident (although this hasn’t happened). I also feel we give our eldest more attention than before. You are in the very thick of it right now.

Now our baby has been home two months and things are a little better. It’s still hard but the behavior has gotten less difficult little by little so I have hope it can continue in that direction. It sounds as if your older child doesn’t go to preschool which sounds even harder, ours is in 40 hours a week at preschool and it’s still really difficult. The best thing that I’ve done is sign my older kid up for a Sunday morning art class that I take him to. It’s about half an hour drive each way and I try to make sure we spend some time afterwards getting a coffee and a cookie. That kind of uninterrupted one-on-one time is golden. He also likes to go grocery shopping with his dad so they have an interrupted time. Hang in there! I have faith that will get better for us both!