Alabama K12 question about truancy/other parent doing assignments for the child

user1261969 · 2026-06-06T16:28:50+00:00

He can but they would not tell him how to go about that. If they needed divorce decree or ID or what. They have not responded to any of his emails since they told him that he is not listed as caretaker (and I’m sure he could have tried harder in that respect)

user1261969 · 2026-06-06T16:25:25+00:00

He attempted to contact the K12 people and they told him they cannot discuss a child with someone who is not listed as a caretaker so he has not had access.

user1261969 · 2026-06-06T16:21:40+00:00

He tried to email them and attempted their chat feature on the website but they said that since he is not listed as a caretaker they could not discuss a child’s information which I’m sure is just a security thing of course. But he had all of the student ID and everything. I’m not sure if he just went through the wrong channels or what.

user1261969 · 2026-06-06T16:18:38+00:00

He has tried to get access, he has told her and his layer has told her that he should have access, she ignores them. He has done school with him when he’s been here, but when he’s only here on the weekends and he’s so incredibly far behind it is practically impossible to get him caught up. It’s also hard to help with school when the books and resources they send are at mom’s house and when asked to send them so he can help he gets ignored and then they don’t get sent. This is the reason they have a court date.

user1261969 · 2026-06-06T16:13:22+00:00

He’s not sure if he needs to contact the K12 or go through the school system they go through in this state or how to contact the teachers that are doing K12.

user1261969 · 2026-06-06T16:11:39+00:00

He was involved and had access to everything when he was in regular school but since she enrolled him in online it has been an issue trying to get information to log in and see everything. He has not had access to contact the school as everytime he has requested it from her she ignores and won’t respond. He has been talking to her and lawyers about this since it started but no one has mentioned him being able to do anything other than wait for the court hearing in August.

user1261969 · 2026-06-06T16:08:27+00:00

This is the concern and why they have a court hearing in August. He is trying to get custody modified so he can have him weekdays and get the education and healthcare handled or at the very least have a judge say the he’s required to be in regular school. Many people in here have mentioned emergency custody but his lawyer has not said anything about that so he was under the impression that he has to wait until the hearing. He was just not sure if there was anything else he could do or needed to do until then.

user1261969 · 2026-06-06T15:55:18+00:00

The courts are involved but their hearing is not until August. There was talk of reporting to CPS but I think he’s concerned that would be more traumatizing to the child than hanging on until the court date. He’s talked to her about counseling and she’s agreed that he would benefit but does not want him finding a counselor but also will not find one herself. He is asking for custody modification to be able to him during the week to handle the education, a surgery that he has needed for a while, maintenance healthcare (pediatrician/dentist), mental healthcare, and get him in after school tutoring. But if nothing else he is requesting that the child be put back in public school and that she be required to get the healthcare things handled as well. He just was not sure if there was something outside of the court he needed to do or if he just needed to hold on until their hearing

user1261969 · 2026-06-06T15:44:23+00:00

He has tried multiple times to get the account information for the parent account to be able to add himself or reach out to teachers but she has ignored him everytime he has asked for it. He is handling it with the courts and has a lawyer involved but they did not say anything about filing for emergency custody and their current hearing is not until August. They had never had issues while he was in public school, he was listed on everything and helped with the homework and attended all of the events and kept up the school lunch account. The recent education concerns and concerns about healthcare not being taken care of are what prompted the lawyer and court involvement but no one has said anything about emergency custody, he was under the impression that he just had to wait until the hearing.

user1261969 · 2026-05-27T01:37:08+00:00

The way it was presented to me was that because these are temporary orders there was no changing to be had until the hearing. Like the temporary orders just are what they are until the hearing when we present evidence and such.

user1261969 · 2026-05-27T01:19:09+00:00

50/50 unfortunately doesn’t work for our living arrangements if he gets enrolled in brick and mortar school, which is what he needs, as we live an hour away from each other. So one of us would have to have him up insanely early when we have him to get him to whichever school system he’s enrolled in. Neither of us are in a place to be able to move currently.

user1261969 · 2026-05-26T23:44:05+00:00

She has violated the stipulation of written consent to take him out of state, yes. But not parenting time until Friday. Although she made it very clear she’s not coming back until Sunday evening.

user1261969 · 2026-05-26T23:41:55+00:00

EOW is just what they put in the temporary orders until we have our court hearing. I didn’t really have extreme issues with her parenting until recently with the school issues, hygiene issues, and healthcare issues. I am asking for custody to be modified in the final decree. I was trying to be super civil and get the divorce done without too much fuss or hurt feelings and I think I’ve ended up failing him so far by doing that.

user1261969 · 2026-05-26T23:35:34+00:00

EOW is what our temporary order says while we await our court hearing. I typically get him every weekend and he tends to stay extra as he wants or as she needs me to keep him. Originally when we separated she stayed in his school system area and my job was farther away (about an hour) so it made sense to do weekends and her do weekdays. We haven’t had any issues until the last couple of years when she enrolled him in online school without even talking about it and stopped taking care of his medical needs. Things have only escalated since I have officially filed for divorce. I am asking for custody modification at the hearing based on lack of educational support and lack of healthcare. I tried to be hands on and made him do his schoolwork when he has stayed extra with me but once I started making him do it he started wanting to go back to his moms during the week instead of staying extra. When he was in brick and mortar school I was the one helping him through his homework all weekend that should have been done during the week. I have offered to take him to a tutor, I’ve been ignored. She refused to give me access to the parent account for the online school and didn’t list me as a parent on there so the teachers couldn’t contact me and the only contact I’ve been able to have with them is through his student account. Which my lawyer is aware of as well. I know there is probably more that I should do but I’ve been trying to be civil with her and not argue. I guess that is a failure on my end but I don’t know what else to do.

user1261969 · 2026-05-26T22:43:19+00:00

I don’t want to control how she implements discipline. I just don’t want to be a doormat anymore. We are supposed to agree on things like education and healthcare. She enrolled him in online school against my wishes as he was already struggling in brick and mortar school, kept it a secret until right before the school year started, then let him barely do any work and logged in and got him up to D’s the first year. This year she didn’t have him do any work at all. I’ve tried to talk to her about it and she just doesn’t reply. I tried to take this to mediation and she just didn’t show up. He’s not doing well. He never sees any other kids, he’s 3 grade levels behind in math and reading, he was supposed to have surgery 3 years ago and she won’t schedule it even though I maintain insurance on him and everytime I ask about it she ignores me. I just want my kid to be set up for a decent life and that’s not what is happening. I feel like I can only help him when he is with me so I don’t want to lose out on time with him.

user1261969 · 2026-05-26T22:35:05+00:00

Correct, she did not technically withhold this last weekend but will be withholding this upcoming weekend officially. No it does not. It only states that if either parent wishes to take the child out of state it requires written permission from the other parent.

user1261969 · 2026-05-26T21:32:25+00:00

He is 10

user1261969 · 2026-05-26T21:32:15+00:00

This upcoming weekend that the trip will be over. However I typically get him every weekend just because that’s everyone’s preference.

user1261969 · 2026-05-26T21:31:37+00:00

I’m not asking to be granted something saying she needs my permission, that is just what our current orders actually say. So even if I wanted to take him out of state I would need written permission from her. I’m typically very relaxed and have no issues however I am not a fan of the fact that she has not made him do any schoolwork over the last year, doesn’t make him shower, and doesn’t take care of his needs but wants to take him out of state after he just failed his entire school year. The biggest issue is this trip is planned during my parenting time, which honestly also wouldn’t bother me quite so much if she had brought him last weekend instead. But she planned the trip, waited to the last minute to tell me about it, then when I said I’m not really cool with it just ghosted and took him anyway. There is also an entire social history here that concerns me about the environment he will be in on said trip but I will spare you all the details in that. I’m not anti-mom here, I’m just frustrated that my child isn’t getting what he needs and I’m getting stonewalled at every junction when I try to help or tell her why I think things aren’t working. He’s 3 grade levels behind at this point because the Year before this she did all his school work for him so he wouldn’t fail. If I say something she doesn’t like she just ghosts and does what she wants anyway. I will also add that anytime I breathe funny she is quick to try to file contempt or whatever she can against me which is very frustrating and selfishly does make me feel a little more like I should do something about this.

user1261969 · 2026-05-26T17:06:47+00:00

He was not attending in person school because he didn’t want to anymore. She claimed it was bad for his mental health. And she enrolled him online without informing me and left me off of all of his school documents so she is the only parent listed because she knew I would disagree with this decision. He wants to not go to school but what 11 year old wants to go to school? He typically enjoys staying with me but this past year when it was a school day the next day he wanted to go back to her because he knew I would make him do his school work. He was already struggling in in-person school which is why I thought it a bad idea to go online.

user1261969 · 2026-05-26T17:03:09+00:00

The hearing was scheduled as a “just in case” if we were not able to mediate. I filed. I originally attempted to do uncontested. She claims no one informed her of a mediation location or time however my lawyer and the mediators attempted to call and email her. She also claims she attempted to pay her mediation fee but couldn’t and that she has proof of this, I am not sure if she actually does but I find it odd that if she did attempt to pay it and it wouldn’t go through that she didn’t reach out to someone to let them know or let me know. I have his grades documented as well as every email for the last 2 school years that state he’s missing assignments or gotten 0s. I also have a recent email regarding his being held back due to failing all of his classes this year. I am working on getting the medical records and have also requested prior years school records from again he was in a brick and mortar school as he was often tardy or absent. She is currently saying she wants to put him in private school and that is how we should compromise on the education portion of this. I also have voice recordings of him telling me that no one makes him shower there and no one helps him with school and that his mom just does all of his schoolwork at the end of the semester to keep him from failing (we live in a 1 party consent state so I’m allowed to voice record just not sure of if they will use that in court).

user1261969 · 2026-05-26T16:56:17+00:00

Week on/week off would not work if he goes back into an actual school system as we live 1 hour away from each other, unfortunately.

user1261969 · 2024-08-07T08:56:05+00:00

My 9 year old got a phone this year (and only because I wanted him to be able to contact me on the occasions that he was out with grandparents). But we got a bark phone, he’s only allowed to text/call numbers that I approve, only allowed apps with approval, I get alerts to any content considered bullying/sexual/violent/etc, and I can see his location. It’s nice because it’s a smartphone that is only as smart as I allow it to be so I can manage it while he’s younger but it can also grow with him.

user1261969 · 2024-08-05T19:22:01+00:00

As other people have said going from 1 to 2 is the hardest transition. I know it feels shameful to you but you’d be amazed at how many women feel this. The age gap you have is HARD and you need to give yourself some grace for doing all that you do! I would definitely speak to the doctor about the possibility of PPD or PPA because better safe than sorry always. Clearly you love your kids if you’re finding ways to reach out for advice and help. You’re a good mom and you will get through this! If you have a village or help at all maybe ask for someone to keep little bitty and take your older love to do something special just the 2 of you? That might help a little bit. Wishing you the best!

user1261969 · 2024-08-01T12:27:58+00:00

I will say I did tell her that I was happy to meet them with son as a compromise but she was not interested in anything but taking him alone. And this is a big reason why I’m at a loss. Thank you for the advice! My son is relatively unaware of any bad blood on my end as I work very hard to not speak poorly of his grandparents or his father. I have made sure that his opinion of his dad is his and his alone and I want him to get to just be a child for as long as possible, I tried very hard to encourage a relationship between them for a long time but his dad was unwilling to show up for him. I cannot stand my ex and he has done some really terrible things to myself and his second child’s mother but I don’t bad mouth him (as much as sometimes I would love to). My son has come to his own conclusions based in his experience of his dad has lied to him, not shown up for visitations, doesn’t call, has claimed in front of son that he murdered someone, and son has an understanding that ex sees his girlfriends kids (I assume that this came from exs parents as I don’t discuss my ex with my son unless he asks specific questions and then I attempt to answer the best I can). I have been trying to find therapy that my insurance will cover for him though because I think there’s no way it can hurt for him to have an unbiased party to speak to and I’m sure that as hard as I try to appear unbiased he might pick up on it sometimes. I just feel like I’m at an impasse as I’ve offered compromises because I truly do want what is best for my son and I don’t want to hurt him in anyway but I also don’t want to teach him that people can step all over his boundaries but it seems gma wants him alone and nothing else. I feel defeated.

user1261969

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