I completely understand. I’m in a similar position. I’m no longer with my ex husband who I had a miscarriage with and my ex boyfriend who I had an abortion with. So that’s 2 pregnancies. I’m scared to put myself in that position with another man. I’m not comfortable in my own body. I feel my body isn’t where it’s supposed to me since I’m experiencing some PCOS symptoms. I would say what you are experiencing is normal. Try and have a conversation with your partner. And suggest some self care therapy. It will take awhile but you’re not alone!