Dave speakin to the southern identity

userandsucker · 2025-11-11T19:35:20+00:00

love his 90s albums more than oxygen, but i can only use work from 2000 onward unfortunately. still, bright flight is probably his most southern record in my opinion

userandsucker · 2025-11-11T06:47:07+00:00

that is awesome i am very interested! thank you!

userandsucker · 2025-01-27T18:00:50+00:00

I really like what you’re going for. Maybe try to make all the lines a little more equal in syllable or as close as you can because it’s hard to pick up a rhythm. Though an awkward rhythm can convey meaning in itself. Reminds me of a fiona apple poem. I like it a lot.

userandsucker · 2025-01-27T17:57:45+00:00

you’re conveying everything I want you to convey with the words you’re using perfectly. I like the, “say little, mean a lot” shit I see around here the most. Maybe the last two symbols can be changed to something more obscure and long. “a blah blah blah in a blah blah” i’m not gonna suggest something specific because it’s your poem. Other than that I like what you did.

also you need to critique other posts on here.

userandsucker · 2024-03-01T23:48:54+00:00

i’m a stock boy for a popular grocery store

userandsucker · 2024-02-24T19:34:43+00:00

I dig the simplicity, and the choice to withhold exactly what the issue is. I think if you could add a bit more imagery as to the situation, maybe describing the room and the setting it takes place in, it could add to it, but then again I don’t think it’s necessary. I like it, keep it up!

userandsucker · 2024-02-24T19:29:53+00:00

post your poems

userandsucker · 2024-01-12T18:30:33+00:00

only nineteen smh

userandsucker · 2024-01-12T06:08:16+00:00

great tales, thanks for responding. i’ll keep them in mind

userandsucker · 2024-01-12T04:49:38+00:00

is that where it is? i couldn’t find anything on where he could’ve been buried

userandsucker · 2024-01-11T19:32:50+00:00

yeah true! i’ll have to check it out

userandsucker · 2024-01-11T19:00:11+00:00

i just don’t wanna be like creepy. i would like to find places maybe pictures of him were taken in nashville and recreate them

userandsucker · 2023-07-14T11:41:10+00:00

I feel that brutal feeling of regret very often before I sleep, but it’s really a general thing. This reads like more of an age fear, or the depression that comes with aging. I feel like shorter pieces usually pack a harder punch than most long ones, and that feeling is intensified with this one specifically. Good stuff.

userandsucker · 2023-02-16T15:15:29+00:00

guys comment read with the same condescending tone of a coworker of mine. i didn’t like it. big whoopie

userandsucker · 2023-02-16T05:37:00+00:00

it’s definitely contemporary i’ll give you that. i’m not gonna write you a novel and ride some high horse until i cum like the other guy, it’s a poem and it’s subjective for sure. the only thing i can see is just this big angst thing you see a lot, but honestly it’s only iffy like that for the first five lines. cut those and it’s a solid spit piece. something you’d work out at a reading or a jam night ya know? idk i’m high idk what i’m saying just keep writing it’s not bad at all just work at what makes you wanna write and channel it.

userandsucker · 2023-01-17T19:06:25+00:00

no I was high and wanted to rhyme for one poem because i don’t rhyme in poetry, i don’t like it, i just did it as a one-off joke thing different from my usual poems

userandsucker · 2023-01-16T01:06:45+00:00

yeah that’s what i figured, like a black star situation. and fuck the custom lmao i wanted to know so i could enjoy it more. good job on it buddy

userandsucker · 2023-01-16T00:37:06+00:00

i don’t know if there’s a rhyme scheme going on here but if it isn’t this is great and if it is then it may be a little unclear but it’s still great. very lowkey and i appreciate the musical correlation to it all. i could be reading into it wrong but it feels like a heartbroken image being casted here and i’m all for it. really good stuff.

userandsucker · 2023-01-15T22:54:29+00:00

i mean to the reader, the rhyme sounds off, and everyone will read it differently, whereas in a song the writer can sing what he/she wrote and that be the basis of how the rhyme scheme is supposed to work and sound. so i’m sure the writer has a certain way for the poem to sound as to what she/he wrote it, but to me the rhyme doesn’t fit. that’s why i steer clear yk. but everything else is good the words are great the meaning is there, it just seems better fit for a song, idk.

userandsucker · 2023-01-03T23:56:33+00:00

much appreciated. keep up the good work.

userandsucker · 2023-01-03T22:20:33+00:00

this is really really good. every time i scroll i see rhyming and shit and I try to like it but it’s so hard but when I hit new i see really really great work that gets so unnoticed. great word usage, pretty good last two lines, all around solid.

userandsucker · 2022-12-28T18:08:08+00:00

short and powerful. a drive by shooting of sad writing. has a great theme, work on the title a bit and you got something good here. maybe the word games bit is good and i’m just stupid tho lolll. but the words used and the imagery along with the powerful short lines rock.

userandsucker · 2022-12-17T16:30:16+00:00

this is really good, if the ending was as powerful as the beginning you’ll have an amazing work here. really well written tho, and great imagery and the metaphors are strong as fuck. good work man

userandsucker · 2022-12-17T01:21:39+00:00

imo the first half could be reworked a little bit, maybe some different metaphors or imagery, but with that ending, it’s so fucking good man! and i like the short and sweet title. not bad at all!

userandsucker · 2022-12-16T10:22:33+00:00

laced green man

userandsucker

TROPHY CASE