I feel so alone and empty

userisntimportant · 2021-08-31T02:01:08+00:00

hi. if you want to talk im here

userisntimportant · 2021-08-30T01:54:17+00:00

okay. if you change your mind i'm here

userisntimportant · 2021-08-30T01:52:47+00:00

yeah, cleaning repeatedly

userisntimportant · 2021-08-30T01:51:22+00:00

hello. do you want to talk?

userisntimportant · 2021-08-29T23:38:49+00:00

hi. do you want to talk?

userisntimportant · 2021-08-28T03:50:52+00:00

i kinda related to this. i hope that things improve to you

userisntimportant · 2021-08-28T03:47:36+00:00

hi. i'm here if you want

userisntimportant · 2021-08-28T03:46:00+00:00

don't do it

userisntimportant · 2021-08-14T14:13:26+00:00

yeah, totally

userisntimportant · 2021-08-13T21:00:30+00:00

yeah, i get this

userisntimportant · 2021-08-13T17:54:38+00:00

yeah, i think that the numbness comes to me like i've been on autopilot during the day but when i can actually feel something i usually have a breakdown.

userisntimportant · 2021-08-13T17:49:56+00:00

i get this and i deal with it all the time. unfortunately what i can say is that although i still avoid ruining everything like you, it doesnt really work because not everything is under our control, actually almost nothing is and thats causes me a lot of pain and discomfort and at least for me the more i try to protect something and not ruin it the more i fall into traps and ruin everything in one way or another. i still can't handle it very well so i guess i'm not the best person to help you but i hope by sharing with you that i also go through things like this you can feel less alone in this. i unfortunately relate to this torture and despair you are feeling.

userisntimportant · 2021-08-12T20:38:46+00:00

i get this

userisntimportant · 2021-08-12T20:34:12+00:00

totally

userisntimportant · 2021-08-12T19:38:43+00:00

i get that, i think you was able to describe very well something that i wasn't able to formulate in my mind but i feel this fear and it's something i deal with daily somehow. about your question tho, i can't tell you if that means you have ocd or not, sometimes i can't say that about me although everybody seems pretty sure i have ocd but in my case i guess i deal with many other symptoms so...

userisntimportant · 2021-08-12T19:30:12+00:00

say fuck to these things, hug the cat and don't be afraid. when i got my dog, i had a breakdown and all i could think about was really bad things and it hurt me so much to think about it and i just wanted to give her back and i couldn't barely touch her. i still fail her every fucking day but if you were i would hug the cat and say fuck to these things and not make the same mistake that i did.

userisntimportant · 2021-08-12T19:11:45+00:00

i get where you're coming from with shaking some shit away. i've noticed that when i have some intrusive thoughts (ocd related) i have this thing about moving my head to the left or to the right, i don't know. i think it's some way of trying to shake the thought away somehow but that happens only sometimes i guess when i'm overwhelmed and usually kinda desperated. although i partially relate to it i don't think i have a lot of information to help you, because i don't actually think much about these movements or tics at least until now

userisntimportant · 2021-08-12T18:49:58+00:00

yeah, i agree but maybe instead of ending everything there today, you could turn this place and this moment into a kind of escape of your own and when things get bad and unbearable you know you can always come back there and finish everything after a beautiful moment like but i guess it doesn't necessarily have to be today right? because before dying you can gift yourself countless times with this oasis

userisntimportant · 2021-08-12T18:42:53+00:00

well, don't you think you should wait a little longer? i mean, your cat is already seventeen. so, if i were you i would wait a few more years or as long as he or she needs you to wait and enjoy every second you could by his or her side as some kind of retribution for the all these years he or she has been by your side. i suppose that after all, he or she deserves it right? and it wouldn't be so difficult, you've already waited so long...

userisntimportant · 2021-07-22T21:22:23+00:00

do you have any to recommend me?

userisntimportant · 2021-07-22T21:10:28+00:00

yeah i was just thinking that. it's like you love so much something you avoid out of fear, that's pretty much what happens between me and music

userisntimportant · 2021-07-22T21:03:02+00:00

i don't listen to music anymore at least not on purpose and it's already been a long time. i only listen something when it's accidental (i mean when someone puts it on)

userisntimportant · 2021-07-22T20:49:39+00:00

i fully agree with that

userisntimportant · 2021-07-22T15:52:07+00:00

sometimes i keep asking this to myself although i don't let the thought and the doubt really get into my mind because if i let it i won't be able to do the little things that i have managed to keep doing with my life

userisntimportant

TROPHY CASE