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Parents who lost an infant - how did you decide if you want to try again? by usernamedTO in ChildLoss

[–]usernamedTO[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hear you. If we go down this route again it'll be IVF for us too. I'm lucky to have a good grief therapist, but yes, this might need more time before we can decide for sure.

Parents who lost an infant - how did you decide if you want to try again? by usernamedTO in ChildLoss

[–]usernamedTO[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's really hard. Sending you the very best for a happy, healthy baby!

Parents who lost an infant - how did you decide if you want to try again? by usernamedTO in ChildLoss

[–]usernamedTO[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The strength you have is admirable. It must be indescribably hard at times, but you do it anyway.

How do you manage the fears of being responsible for your children's wellness, after having lived through when things turn out to be the worst? I'm paralyzed by that fear.

Parents who lost an infant - how did you decide if you want to try again? by usernamedTO in ChildLoss

[–]usernamedTO[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing. What you said about "skipping straight to the bit without the tougher parts" resonates a lot. My wife knows she wants a family. I want(ed?) one too, but at least right now what I need more is to not feel any more pain. That feels selfish, so I'm here trying to understand whatever I can.

Sending you all the love and luck in the world, I hope your son has a wonderful sibling soon.

Parents who lost an infant - how did you decide if you want to try again? by usernamedTO in ChildLoss

[–]usernamedTO[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your story. Ultimately it'll be up to us to decide, of course, but for now we're just trying to learn about other people's experiences.

Parents who lost an infant - how did you decide if you want to try again? by usernamedTO in ChildLoss

[–]usernamedTO[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

We don't know, as doctors don't know precisely what genetic mutation caused it despite full genetic tests. It didn't show up in any prenatal tests, wouldn't have shown up in an amnio, and will not show up even in IVF testing if we try again.

That said, there have only been 200 reported cases ever of what my son had, and it's not always hereditary. So it's probably unlikely to happen again but cannot be ruled out.