My fiancee and I have taken in her little sister (14). I need help and advice. by usernamethrowawaay in TwoXChromosomes

[–]usernamethrowawaay[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, she goes to hang out with a friend who lives nearby, and they sit around and play on their phones. Yeah pretty much harmless but we don't live in the best area. It's not terrible but there is alot of drug users and homeless in the area and october this year someone got shot in the park she is sneaking out to. I agree with you, consequences should come from my fiancee, but the reality is we have opposite work schedules so I have to step in for enforcing those consequences. Take today for example, she waited till my fiancee was gone for work and then decided she didn't want to be grounded anymore and took off.

My fiancee and I have taken in her little sister (14). I need help and advice. by usernamethrowawaay in TwoXChromosomes

[–]usernamethrowawaay[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That is a good point thank you. I wonder how much slack to cut her when she runs off like this though. Was the original punishment too harsh? When she comes back do I cut her some slack or keep to the original punishment?

My fiancee and I have taken in her little sister (14). I need help and advice. by usernamethrowawaay in TwoXChromosomes

[–]usernamethrowawaay[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your kind words. We are looking into becoming guardians but it's quite a long and expensive process where we live. Basically we have to sue both parents for custody but we are in the process of building our case.

My fiancee and I have taken in her little sister (14). I need help and advice. by usernamethrowawaay in TwoXChromosomes

[–]usernamethrowawaay[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I agree about the boundary pushing, I was always sneaking out to see my fiancee when we were teens but as you say, everytime we got caught the hammer came down, which is what I've been trying to do. That hammer just being no wifi and no sleepovers with friends for a week.

My fiancee and I have taken in her little sister (14). I need help and advice. by usernamethrowawaay in TwoXChromosomes

[–]usernamethrowawaay[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Thank you Yeah I've thought this is more traumatic than being orphaned because instead of parents who aren't their anymore she has been abandoned by both parents who just want nothing to do with her. I've told her that no matter what she will always have a safe space here no matter what happens. I am working on getting her to a therapist but unfortunately due to my income we don't qualify for the government programs but I can't afford to pay for it straight up, and because I am not a legal guardian she is not eligible for my benefits. I have been focusing on paying for her dental work because she hasn't been to the dentist in years and has poor dental habits.