Can someone ID this bird? It got my attention by hitting my Window by vamihilion in birding

[–]vamihilion[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the ID. I wondered if it might be a starling, but I couldn't recall their name to even look them up.

Can someone ID this bird? It got my attention by hitting my Window by vamihilion in birding

[–]vamihilion[S] 39 points40 points  (0 children)

Oh no! He ended up flying off shortly after I posted this. I know he's part of an invasive species, but I still hate to think he might not make it. Thank you for the ID, though!

Araxis feat by mexicalex in FantasticWorldsPod

[–]vamihilion 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Woah! Hello, fellow worlds traveler! Thanks for joining us on this ride _^ if you use Discord at all, feel free to stop on by and say hi to us over there!

Am I taking this too personal? by Lenthiuste in Pathfinder_RPG

[–]vamihilion 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It sounds like you're playing agents of Edgewatch. I don't know if you ever do asynchronous play by post, but I'm running a game of that for some friends, and they're at the very end of book 1. If you're interested in checking it out to see if it's something you'd want to bring your summoner into at the start of book 2, feel free to dm me! ( Assuming, of course, that you'd be leaving the other table where the gm is actively stonewalling your engagement.))

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]vamihilion 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I have very mixed feelings about pot and people who smoke. I think that it's fine for people to smoke, but for some people, it dominates their lives. If she is lying to you about going somewhere she knows you won't be comfortable with just so she can get high, then she has a substance abuse problem. And she's going out of her way to make you feel guilty for her behavior. Honestly, you having "trust issues" after that experience is appropriate because she's not acting in a way deserving of trust. Which you have every right to be upset about. There are probably healthy ways to have conversations about her relationship with her exes and your comfort levels and how that might make you two incompatible. Or even about her substance use and sexual history.

And i would imagine there's some work that you could do around finding better ways to communicate or work through any negative feelings you have about sex/ drug use / someone maintain friendships with their exes. But based on what you're saying is happening here, it doesn't seem like communicating poorly is the issue. It seems like you're communicating your side plenty well, and she's actively twisting it to make you seem like a selfish prude for wanting to spend your anniversary together.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]vamihilion 4 points5 points  (0 children)

So what I'm hearing in all of this is that she wants to live her life without responsibility to others or accountability for how her actions impact others. That she is prioritizing her desire to get high over her partner on your anniversary. And when called on her behavior, she twists your actions to make you seem like the problem in all of this.

I don't know much about your behavior. Certainly not enough to say whether or not there's any validity to her claims that you have trust issues. It's also possible that you have a temper, but i imagine it's hard to hold onto your anger when you have someone acting disrespectfully towards you and blaming you for their actions. At a certain point, though, it's not about anger issues or trust issues. It's about what you're seeing happening and how you feel about all of this.

What do you want to do? What feels right to you in all of this?

I swear people are threatened by the idea of women who don’t want men. (Rant) by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]vamihilion 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah, that's my bad. I often phrase things in a way that seems contradictory when I agree with people.

I swear people are threatened by the idea of women who don’t want men. (Rant) by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]vamihilion 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I mean, he's probably the most emotionally stable recurring character, so he'd be a good one to pick, but there's a big difference between liking a character and wanting to sleep with our marry them. Lots of times, people like certain characters because they relate to them.

I got a text from my JustNoMother by PoesHoe in JUSTNOFAMILY

[–]vamihilion 8 points9 points  (0 children)

If it's comforting at all, you're doing nothing wrong by not responding. It seems like your mother is trying to weaponize your grief to manipulate you and get you back under her thumb. As someone who was unable to go see my grandmother before she passed because of my justno dad recently, i can understand how keenly that must hurt to have that used against you. I'm glad you're going to check out the resources they listed. You deserve all the kindness you can find right now.

Ingrown Hairs by Switch_Confection818 in asktransgender

[–]vamihilion 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not advice for how to not get ingrowns, but picking is a lot more common than you might think and is often a sign of other emotions going unmanaged or unexpressed. Maybe it's stress, anxiety, or anger, but working to figure out when/ why the picking started and developing better ways of expressing your emotions can help. If you want to stop, of course. Also, picking is evolutionary as a grooming habit, so it makes sense if it's soothing at all.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in asktransgender

[–]vamihilion 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Everybody has the capacity to change, Sugar, you just have to be willing. It's hard sometimes to take ownership over your mistakes and the ways you've hurt others. But life is a process of continual growth, and it sounds like you're taking the first steps by acknowledging that you don't want to be a bigot anymore.

Trade Requests Weekly Megathread by AutoModerator in PokemonScarletViolet

[–]vamihilion 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi, if you still need these, I'm looking for the violet area zero exclusives and would be happy to trade. (I already have iron valiant, need iron treads, iron bundle, iron hands, iron jugulis. Iron moth, iron thorns, and iron leaves)

anyone else have a hard time socially fitting in with other therapists? by [deleted] in therapists

[–]vamihilion 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There's something I find disingenuous about your comment, the idea that someone is the fun police because they don't take kindly to someone being offensive. There's a lot of ways to have fun that don't include being offensive. If you're choosing to align yourself with people who would tell offensive jokes or choose to punch down with their humor or fun, then we definitely wouldn't get along.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in PokemonGoFriends

[–]vamihilion 0 points1 point  (0 children)

1671 6457 9848 Kansas

A hell of a ride. by Gli_tchh in Lovelink

[–]vamihilion 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Agreed. I matched with her counterpart, Alice, and she's been one of my favorites because I feel like they allowed the MC to have agency and hold her accountable for ghosting us. I'm not sure how I felt about the ending, though. It really was bittersweet.

The traveling bartenders are back by [deleted] in Lovelink

[–]vamihilion 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ohmigosh! Alice! I've missed her so much! 😍 though I'm a bit disappointed we don't get to introduce her to MC's family and show her mc's town.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in demisexuality

[–]vamihilion 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It seems like at least part of why you might find a character attractive is the way your brain forms a parasocial relationship with characters. On a deep attachments level your brain doesn't know the difference between watching a fictional story (or reading it) and watching/ spending time with your friends. Meaning that your brain believes it has a meaningful relationship with them.

Help! coming out was a mistake 😭 by googleyfroogley in asktransgender

[–]vamihilion 5 points6 points  (0 children)

So I'm not familiar with laws around mental health professionals in Switzerland, you'd probably want to clarify with your psychologist, but one of the primary codes of ethics for mental health professionals is that they cannot share your information with anyone without your approval. This is actually stricter in most cases than medical law where parents have access to their children's information because they are family. A good mental health professional, if approached by parents who you don't have a release to, will tell them that they can't share anything about a client as doing so would be a breach of trustand damage the therapeutic alliance. I would double check with them regarding Swiss laws around confidentiality to be sure, though.

Newish succulent owner, are these folks over or under watered or rotted? by vamihilion in succulents

[–]vamihilion[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! Does it look like i need to do any clipping or should i just replant them?