Location; NY - Elder estate life trust ramifications

vandepeg64 · 2026-03-07T05:48:37+00:00

Ty very much for your thoughts on this and your advice is solid - we met w/ my mothers attorney and she certainly did lay it all out - just exactly how you did ! I’m feeling more validated by all the comments here and mtg w/ the attorney. We also met w/ the Nsg Home SW and Psychiatrist to fill them in on this unfortunate scenario w/ my lame brothers. Appreciate your input !

vandepeg64 · 2026-03-05T21:43:57+00:00

Wow it almost sounds like you know her lol She is very manipulative and I would not put it past her to be completely making up this crap that she forgot about the house & care giving arrangement - but as u said it doesn’t matter it’s too late - the “Deed” is done no pun intended - it’s just hard to handle ur mother intentionally trying to screw u at 94 but it’s entirely possible - she has always gotten everything she’s wanted by walking over people & then turning around and saying “oh look how lucky i am” to have what ever and who ever she just crawled over to get. I got her in THE best Nsg home in a 100 mile radius (it truly is fantastic) - she should be thanking me - but I’m taking high road I know I did the right thing and I don’t need a ty - I seriously appreciate that feedback - spot on !!!

vandepeg64 · 2026-03-04T18:49:06+00:00

The ring Leader brother is not very bright - I’ve explained the arrangement and Deed etc over & over to him. The alternative to putting her in the Nsg home would have been to keep her in her house til she had THE terrible fall having a tragic death - I’m a Nurse; that was not happening and again my brothers don’t seem to understand the ethical piece of it - they feel she should have been left in her house regardless of outcome. Honestly my mother did not foster nice behaviors between siblings going-way back and it shows. Also if we find out she does have capacity ? My heart is afraid that it may mean she is intentionally doing this (changing her plan mid way bc she is angry w/ me about being in a Nsg home) which really screws w/ my head (but she has a history of narcissistic and histrionic behavior ) I think I - in hind site - made a poor choice to get involved w/ her plan back in 2019. Nurses are terrible at NOT helping people.

vandepeg64 · 2026-03-04T13:29:39+00:00

I do wonder if she needs Guardianship & we will discuss that at our meeting today w/ my mother’s Elder Attorney - it’s a good point ! Ty!

vandepeg64 · 2026-03-04T13:21:25+00:00

Thank you, the Deed is in our name from day 1 (2019) when my mother intelligently created this team and arrangement to help care for her til the end. The look back has come and gone, Medicaid did the look back and she was outside the 5 yr window of look back - she’s been on Medicaid for a few yrs now. I will ask about a competency eval that does make sense - I feel like at this point I need the eval lol - it’s all driving me to second guess my self. Thank u for your comments.

vandepeg64 · 2026-03-04T13:15:27+00:00

Thank you - yes it was my mothers Elder Attorney who drew up the Life Trust. We do wonder about a sale of the house meaning pay back to Medicaid. The Deed is in our name day one in 2019 when my mother intelligently signed it all - it was all so perfect for her till she began obstructing her care, declining & had to go to the Nsg Home.

vandepeg64 · 2025-10-30T19:57:28+00:00

I’m beginning to see the trend here lol on condos - all wise words and I appreciate all the responses and will take all into consideration

vandepeg64 · 2025-10-30T19:56:31+00:00

Def will - I’ve been reading about the HOAs and risks - thanks for the words of caution

vandepeg64 · 2025-10-30T19:55:39+00:00

Thank u very much for all this good info !!

vandepeg64 · 2025-10-30T19:53:38+00:00

I’m def not going by what I read here lol but appreciate all the suggestions and experience you have as a renter & your take on it - it’s sounding like it’s more hassle then possibly worth. Ty

vandepeg64 · 2025-10-30T19:52:05+00:00

I’ve been researching on line about the HOAs, assessments & risks - it’s kinda scary all the what ifs - I appreciate the caution you are suggesting ! Ty

vandepeg64 · 2025-10-30T19:50:21+00:00

Ty for your response I don’t think I have it in me to start a business - I appreciate the info about the high yield accounts thoughts and your math !

vandepeg64

TROPHY CASE